Still Not Smoking and Other Things

Sorry for being gone so long... I have just not really felt much like doing anything.. blogging.. cleaning.. standing upright.. you know not anything..

I feel somewhat better right now.. I can't say I feel somewhat better and leave it at that because for the last few weeks how I feel changes on a minute to minute basis I think. I have been getting to do a few more things I think that contributes to the overall feel better thing.. It hurts my back to get out and do things but it hurts my spirit to not get out and do things. I can live with the physical pain a lot easier than the emotional or mental pain.

I went to see Chris yesterday and then Ron and I went to Lexington, we stopped at his mom's then at his sis Kathy's and then we headed home stopping along the way for a bite to eat.. It has really been a pretty good weekend over all Ron and I have had the house all to ourselves for most of it. Kyle spent Fri and Sat night at Sierra's house and Chella of course was with Caleb until midnight both nights. It was great..no reason to get dressed to leave the bedroom. Eating what we wanted when we wanted.. I like it.... I am in no hurry for my last two kids to move out of the house but I don't mind a weekend without them now and then.

I have not had a cigarette in almost 6 weeks.. It was hard the first few weeks but now it is like I don't even think about smoking. Even when I am around smokers it doesn't bother me. I know a lot of people were praying and still are praying for me to be able to quit so thank y'all...It means a lot to me to know.

Red.. thank you for the award. You my friend are a sweety.. love you and miss you much.

Well I think I am gonna get off here and go eat the rest of my 3 musketeers bar.. y'all have fun

Bye Bye Joe Camel

OK before the bugging begins I will blog about my recent activity. After 27 years I have quit smoking for the first time for me. I have quit a number of times, I quit with all 4 of my pregnancies but that wasn't for me that was for the health of my babies. I kept off cigarettes through the whole time I was nursing, as soon as those kids were on a cup, I was back to lighting up. About 5 and a half years ago I was part of a research study for the medication Chantix to assist in quitting, I did quit for about 3 months, most of that was for Ron. I knew he didn't like smoking and I wanted to do it for him. Shortly after I thought I had the smoking under control I had to take a trip to FL I wound up having to spend a week with my mother and my ex husband, needless to say I started smoking again, it's a wonder I didn't start drinking as well. So here we are present day. I decided last month that Feb 1st would be my goal date for quitting. I missed it by 2 days. This time I am quitting because I want to quit. I want to not spend that much money on cigarettes, I want to help my bones to heal faster and more completely, I want to avoid all of the problems associated with smoking, heart disease, emphasema, and all that lovely stuff that happens to run in my family in the first place, so yesterday morning I put on my first patch and struggled through my first day as a non smoker, IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! but, I am determined to hang in there as of 9:30 tonight it will be a full 48 hrs since I have had a cigarette and everyone around here is still alive and in one piece. I haven't bitten too many heads off or started to throw things yet so I will take that as a good sign. I have never backed down from anything I really wanted and have been known to go after what I want with a vengance, (right honey) so I know this will get easier. Hope we all live through it.

Y'all have fun

Boreditis

I have a major case of the boredom's. I have been sitting around not doing much of anything for going on 4 months now first it was the pain from the back/ leg herniated disk thing that was keeping me confined and for the last month it has been the recuperation and Herman the hump thing. Seriously I have read 12 novels in 9 days. I will admit I have always been an avid reader and will readily read anything I can get my hands on but lately it has gotten ridiculous. Especially when you add to it the hours upon hours of Lifetime television and my usual strange shows. I really have entirely too much time on my hands. I am not good at being idle, I have been going 90miles an hour for most of my life and to be put in the position to not only slow down but pretty much come to a complete stop is making me and everyone I come in contact with crazy. (poor Ron) I have tried to come up with ideas for crafts but nothing really comes to mind that I would like. I have been writing a bit in my journal but nothing worth publishing. I do get to spend time with the kids and with Cloe which is entertaining but the kids all have other things to do besides hang out with mom and Cloe wears me out fairly quickly.. I am trying not to whine here but wow this whole post sounds like a whine fest. Anyone got some cheese to go with it?

OK over my fit for now.. In good news I have been able to get out a bit lately. We went to Lexington yesterday and took Cloe with us. We stopped to see Ron's mom, then to visit his nephew to take a drawing Ron did of his baby. Then to my favorite thrift store, and back to mom's, then we came home and grabbed Sierra and the 4 of us went out to eat. That was great but I have paid for it. I was beyond exhausted when we got home last night and haven't had the energy to do much of anything today I have pushed myself a bit to get out for a short trip to the store, but otherwise I have been in bed most of the day. I can't wait until the 12th when I go back to the doctor to see if some of my restrictions can be lifted and if they have a cure for the Herman thing that is still hanging out back there. Freezing him didn't work.

Does anyone have any good ideas for someone like me who loves to stay physically as well as mentally active in a situation like this?

I am gonna try to make it to church tomorrow. I haven't been the last 2 weeks and I really think that has a lot to do with my feeling down lately too. I miss my church family and friends and I miss being in God's house. I don't want to ever feel like just a visitor there ya know.

Well I am gonna get off here and try to find something to get into for a bit.. hey maybe there is a good lifetime movie on.. Ron just loves them so much.. NOT!!!!!!!!

My New Friend Herman

Ok well he isn't really a friend or even friendly. He has invaded my space and moved into my body. He is the huge lump on my back at my incision sight he is about 3 to 4 inches long ,2 to 3 inches wide and about an inch or so tall. About 2 weeks ago I noticed a small lump on my back at the incision sight. I popped a couple of ibuprofen and took it easy and the dang thing went down. The next morning it was back , again with the ibuprofen only this time nothing happened in fact said lump got bigger. This went on for a couple days. I called my doctor on Friday I left a message for his assistant. Monday afternoon she called me back, I told her what was going on and she assured me she would talk to the dr and call me back. Fast forward 4 days to the next Friday when she still had not returned my phone call. I called again, this time she was out of the office and I spoke with someone who was filling in for her. I was again told I would be called back. This time only an hour went by when I did get a phone call. Brooke, told me I have a hematoma, and that while they are not all that common in this type of surgery they are fairly normal and mostly harmless I was further instructed to ice it for 20 mins per hour and take it easy. If I take it any easier I will be in a coma. I have been icing as instructed, and still there is a big painful lump in the lower part of my back. I have decided if it is gonna be hanging around with me 24/7 it should have a name, hence, Herman. I have a strange obsession with naming things anyway from cars to thanksgiving day turkeys so, for my new lump to have a name doesn't seem at all odd to me. I am however hoping ours is a very short friendship.

In other news , I know Ron has told everyone about Chella getting her GED. I am very proud of her. It isn't the way I wanted her to get her education but I do understand why she chose this way and I have supported her decision. Her next step is to check out colleges and what financial assistance is out there. She wants to go into journalism, (imagine a writer in this family who would have thought?) I just hope she continues to follow through with her education. I know it isn't easy to do it once you are grown and married so hopefully she goes ahead with the education now and the home and family thing later. I didn't quite do it that way. I got married when I was 16 had my first child a month before I turned 18. I was 20 and had just given birth to my 2nd child when I went to get my GED, and 21 when I started college and spent most of my 2nd year of school pregnant with my 3rd child. Talk about getting your education the hard way. I did manage to come out the other side of it with a good education and 2 degrees but it would have been much easier to have done it without the full time home/mother/and 60 hr a week job thing as well. These kids don't seem to realize how great it is to still be able to live at home and not have to do anything but get your education. Oh well all I can do is encourage her and pray. Now I am working on Sierra to try and get her to go to work on getting her GED. Wish me luck.

Well, Herman is getting pissed about sitting upright so I am gonna get off here and try to freeze him to death.

Y'all have fun.

Post 250

Apparently this is my 250th post. I am not sure what the posting etiquette is for such an occasion. Am I supposed to throw a party? Should I post something meaningful and full of wisdom? ( that would confuse my readers) Or should I just say yay 250 I am surprised I have had that much to say at all?

I have been slowly recuperating from the back surgery. I am trying to obey my doctor and take it very very easy (his words) I am just not good at taking it easy. I have too much to do. The laundry won't do itself, the house won't clean itself, the groceries won't come into the house on their own, it just seems this taking it easy bit causes more stress than it is worth. According to the doctor my spine is destroyed that was his medical term for it. I have to be very careful right now and for at least the next 4 to 6 weeks that I don't hurt my back in any way. I am not even allowed to pick up my grand baby how much does that suck? In fact I am not allowed to lift anything over 5lbs now ladies seriously how many things in the life of a housewife weigh under 5lbs? The good news is he hasn't grounded me completely from going places I do have to limit how far I ride and how often but I can still get out of the house. If I couldn't believe me no one would want to be in the house with me.

In other things, American Idol (my guilty pleasure) has returned, I don't know why I love that show but I do. I love music, I love to sing. I do have a problem with the age limit thing, I think they should come up with an Old Fogey Idol. You know for us old farts that are over 29. What do they think that if you are 30 or older you can't carry a tune and your walker at the same time? I do have one other complaint about the show.. when the judges do the 150% or the one million percent thing does that make the yes or no answer to are the contestants going to Hollywood more important? If it is more than 100% does that mean they get to skip the Hollywood round altogether? Do they get to go straight to the finale? Sorry that sorta thing just bothers me I don't know why it is just a minor pet peeve of mine. Over all though I will sit here in my bed and watch for the next several weeks and yell at the TV when my favorite pick gets sent home or cry when they do the sappy background stories, and love every minute of it.

OK I don't know how this post measures up on such a momentous occasion as my 250th post but it is the best I have to work with right now..

Y'all have fun

I am Home and Not in Pain

I am home and resting in my bed. For the first time in almost a month I am able to lay in my bed without pain. I can roll over. I can lay on my back, or side, the only drawback is I am not allowed to sleep on my stomach and you guessed it I am a belly sleeper normally. I think I will be able to deal with this minor problem however, after all I have been sleeping (sorta) sitting up in a chair for over 3 weeks.

The surgery went well, my doctor removed 3 large pieces of the disk and scraped things out well. Hoping that the scraping will encourage the bones to fuse together on their own, negating the necessity for future fusion surgery. I hope it works out that way but right now I am just thankful for what I have, or rather don't have. ( pain)

I want to thank all my kids and my family and friends for the visits, phone calls and e mails.. the encouragement and prayers are so welcome and appreciated.

Not to make light of my love for any of my kids or to say I love one more than the others or anything like that I do need to tell one of them a special I love you. Audrey, you are not my child by birth, I couldn't love you more if you were. I am so fortunate and so honored to be able to call you my daughter. Thank you for every thing. Love you kiddo.

Well I am gonna get off here now and enjoy my pain free rest.. Thank you all

Y'all have fun

Improving Slightly

I just realized this morning that I hadn't posted anything in over a week. I also realized I haven't driven a car in almost 3 weeks so not posting suddenly didn't seem so bad. I am feeling somewhat better, the debilitating, excruciating, drop dead now pain has for the most part passed, what I have now is more of a constant pain/irritation sorta feels like a pulled muscle. I can really live with this a lot better. I am used to chronic back pain so over the years I have learned some coping mechanisms for that, if I keep my brain busy I can pretty much block it.

I have gotten out a bit more this week, that has done a lot for my mental and emotional health if not my physical. I am not a stay cooped up in the house type person, I love being outdoors, now don't get me wrong I am not the roughing it in the woods, eating berries type either, I just like the fresh air and sunshine. We haven't had much sunshine lately but here in KY we have plenty of fresh air. I even got most of the Christmas shopping done with only one pair of socks being purchased and those didn't make it to Christmas Chella got them the same day I bought them. I even got brave and went thrift store shopping. That is one of my favorite activities, I hate department stores for the most part, but thrift stores are like a bargain hunters mecca and I am queen of the bargain, my kids say I can smell a bargain happening in another part of the state. I didn't buy much but it felt good to be able to walk, yep walk around the store. I walked slowly but it was still upright transport.

I am looking forward to this weeks family Christmas party, I am making a ham, mashed potatoes, and 2 pumpkin pies. Chella is making a cake. Kyle is doing cookies and I am sure Sierra will cook something. If it is anything like cooking was on Thanksgiving it should be a blast and I bet I won't even notice my back/leg pain.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and positive thoughts they have not gone unanswered. While I am not healed I have had a great deal of pain reduction and just knowing there are people out there who don't even really know me that care enough to pray and wish me well does wonders for my heart. A special thank you to a special lady who sent me the most wonderful lumbar support and sleep mask filled with yummy smelling herbs to make me feel better. They have helped, you are such a sweet person. In the midst of your own problems you took time out to think of us. I know there are so many blessings ahead for you.

It will be a busy week around here. We have the party on Tuesday, Christmas, and Sierra's birthday on Friday which happens to be the same day I am having surgery. Sierra told me yesterday, " Mom, I will have other birthdays and all I really want for my 20th is for you to come through surgery healthy and not in pain." Thank you kiddo, I love you.

Well my pain meds just kicked in so I had better stop typing while I am still somewhat coherent.

I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas, may you be blessed with all the love and joy of the season.

Y'all have fun

Still Standing...Ok Sitting

I am still around. I haven't disappeared or anything I just really have been in too much pain to type or walk or well heck do much of anything.

Ron has been wonderful, from cooking dinners to waiting on me hand and foot and getting the youngin up for school even to staying up with me til 5:30am because he knew I was uncomfortable so he couldn't go lay down in the bed and get comfortable himself, He is the sweetest man I know.

The kids have been helping out as well..Kyle has been the real trouper though, he makes my coffee and brings me a cup in the mornings, he volunteers to do most anything he can to help me out.. what a great kid.

Chelsea has helped by doing chores for me and bringing me stuff, even Sierra who has the Cloe to chase has been great about doing things for me that I can't do for myself, Heck Cloe takes empty diet dew bottles and other things to throw them away for grandma.

I am so thankful to my family, they have been helping without making me feel useless, being useless is a big fear of mine, I have always been very independent and strong willed. I never liked asking anyone for help, if I couldn't do it by myself then I just didn't do whatever it was or dang near killed myself trying. That is just who I am, stubborn, hardheaded, strong willed, obstinate, and very very determined. This past week I have learned that accepting help from those who love you when you need it, is a great way to make them feel needed and loved. That is how they make me feel, that when they are doing something for me it isn't a burden but a labor of love.

Our pastor came to the house on Sunday eve with his wife and another friend from church, I had called him earlier in the day to ask him to come here to pray for me, They and we all prayed, and for the first time that day I was able to stand up straight and sit leaning towards my left instead of my right. I know that God can and does heal us. I haven't had the intensity of that pain from that time on. I still have pain, but I honestly think God has left me some of the pain to remind me that it is OK to ask for help, and so that I won't go back to thinking I am superwoman and then not get this problem fixed. He can heal it completely but he also knows I am stubborn and if he takes all the pain I will be right back trying to do all the things my body can no longer do. So thank you Brother and Sister R, and Robin. I love all of you.

I also want to thank all of you that have been sending prayer and positive energy my way. It means more than I can say, and I certainly can't express it as well as my sweet hubby did on his blog.

The plan for fixing this mess right now is starting with an MRI tomorrow, stronger pain meds, and a follow up with my orthopaedic surgeon next Wednesday when he will most likely suggest surgery to remove the disc that is causing all the trouble.... gotta hate those trouble making discs, geesh. I don't care if he suggests the surgery for 3am, I am so there. The last time this happened the surgery took care of all the pain in my right leg I haven't even had a twinge since, so I have every reason to believe that this time will do the same for my left leg. So if y'all don't mind too much I would so appreciate your continued prayers and good thoughts.

Well my handsome honey has gone into MY ( he is only renting it) kitchen to cook some supper so I think I will try to go in there to sit in a chair and do what I can to help.. that is if he lets me.

Y'all have fun

Dr. Idiot Paging Dr. Idiot

Ron was right I am gonna fill y'all in on Dr. Idiot. First let me say I have a great deal of respect for dr's I in fact was accepted to a pre med program when I was 16 but, got married instead. So I do love medicine and respect those that practice it. Every now and then you run into the 10th yr resident who was at best a d student that doesn't realize that sometimes.. just sometimes the patient may have a clue.



I don't usually seek medical care unless I know I can't handle something myself. Yesterday I could not walk when I got up due to the excruciating pain in my back and left leg. The day wore on and I realized that I couldn't take the pain any longer. It was too late to call my Ortho. and I don't think I would have made it to Lexington 35 miles away in a vehicle anyway. I have a hard time riding or driving the vibrations in the road generally make it a way less than pleasant experience. Back to yesterday. It was about 5pm when I got Sierra to take me to our wonderful little band aid station. oops I mean hospital. There was no one in the waiting room when we got there. The triage nurse took me straight away, then I went to registration for the inevitable paperwork, once that was done I was told it would be just a few minutes to go to the lobby and wait, so that is what I did.. I waited for an hour and 35 mins. Finally they call my name.. the nurse does all the prelims, you know the usual, urine, take off all of your nice warm clothes and put on this paper thin gown open in the back so you can get a really good draft and lay down on the table ( which I can't do) the doctor will be with you shortly. What exactly is the measurement of time for shortly anyway? It wasn't really that long before a very nice lady Dr came in to see me.. I gave her a very extensive background on my back conditions. She said OK, lets get you a steroid, muscle relaxer, and something for pain in an IV and see if that helps. So that is what they did.. Sometime while they had me stoned on morphine and robaxin they had a shift change, this is never a good thing when you are in the hosp. In walks Dr. Idiot. He asked me how I felt, I told him somewhat better pain level at that point was about a 5 it is usually a 7 or 8. He asked me what had happened to put me in such pain, I gave him the exact history that I had given the other dr. He looks at me and says well you know it probably isn't the L4 at all. I asked him what made him think that , He tells me that a lot of times people don't know what is wrong with them and not everyone is truthful about what they have done. I told him. Dude I know my own medical history quite well I know what is wrong with my own body and my orthopaedic surgeon told me this was a good possibility when he removed the L5, what they normally give me is a prednizone dose pack for a week, a cortisone shot, and a script for muscle relaxers because I don't like to take pain killers unless I have to. He then tells me that he is going to write a script for lortab and send me home.. I asked him.. Did you hear anything I just said? I was speaking English right? He again tells me that sometimes people just want painkillers. I told him I didn't want pain killers I just want the prednizone, and muscle relaxer to get me through until I can get into my Ortho's office.. He went on to say again that the L4 is probably not the cause and most likely not herniated. Now mind you he had done no x rays or even a physical exam of my back you can actually feel my scoliosis and where the disc is protruding through I have a skinny back and it is easy to feel. I told him.. Yeah and you are the same Dr that told me that my 11 month old granddaughter was manipulating us by holding her breath and passing out even though there is no medical support EVER to show that a baby that young is capable of such complex planning and execution of said plan. I finally just told him. " SEND ME HOME".. he did.. with a prescription for.. you guessed it.. lortab. So I am sitting here today in not as much pain thanks to the lady doc giving me the steroid and wondering how this guy even got into med school in the first place.. oh well.. I will call my ortho and find out what we can do about getting me in and go from there.. at least I know he is a good dr.

Ron is still sniffling and sneezing through the day but his fever is down which puts my mind at ease a bit.. he told you all about his heart and such so I won't go into it again except to tell you how stubborn he is and how he needs to let me take better care of him.

Well I think I am gonna try to navigate the stairs there is food down there..

Y'all have fun

Dreams Do Come True

Whew... the cooking marathon is over. The food is put away the house is back to its regular clutter and not the holiday disaster it was yesterday. There is enough left over in the fridge (not red yet) to feed a large 3rd world country for the next couple of weeks. I loved every minute of it.

When my girls were little and under my feet in the kitchen while I was trying to cook I used to dream about the day when they would be in the kitchen with me helping to prepare a big holiday meal. I had this idea that we would work well together with no arguing or fussing from anyone. That we wouldn't get in each other's way but would be genuinely happy to be working together as a team.. Yesterday that dream came true. It actually started Wed. night. We all worked on pies. Chella and Caleb did the cherry pie, Kyle did the apple pie, Sierra did the pecan pie, and I did my usual pumpkin pies. It was great we were in the kitchen at the same time and you have to understand something about my kitchen here.. It is about the size of a short hallway, anyway we were all in there at the same time, laughing, reaching for ingredients, teasing each other, it was wonderful and the pies turned out beautifully. That same team spirit carried over into yesterday. We all worked together to make a beautiful and delicious meal. I loved it. I think the kids had a much better time knowing they helped out so much in the preparation of the meal. I knew I would have to rely on them a lot this year because of my back, but they all went above and beyond. Kudos to you my kiddos, I am so very proud of you all and love you so much.

We will be living on leftovers for the next 3 days or so but that has always been one of my favorite parts of thanksgiving , cook like a maniac for a few days and then take the next week off.

Ron and I seem to have caught miss Cloe's cold so we will be skipping the black friday shopping frenzy or as I like to call it... hell. We will do our shopping later next week. We also have to prepare for a b day party for Chella she will be 18 on the 8th and we will be having her party on the 6th. Hmmm a room full of teenagers wolfing down food.. didn't we just do that yesterday? Oh well it should be a good time for all.. I hear Cloe up downstairs I think I am gonna go spend some time with the little angel/demon. I hope all of you had as wonderful a thanksgiving as we did.. God Bless

Y'all have fun

Time to Give Thanks

On this day before Thanksgiving, before I drag myself out of my nice comfy chair and downstairs to get started on my pies I just want to take a few minutes to let you all know what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for God, for His mercy for His love but, mostly for His patience in waiting on me to finally get on the ball and depend on Him and to give my heart and my problems over to Him knowing they will be taken care of.

I am thankful for my Ron. He is my comfort, my hopes,my desires, the light and love of my life. He is my soft place to land and my solid ground when things get shaky.

I am thankful for my 7 children for the love and joy they have brought into my life as well as the heartaches and headaches that have allowed me to grow with them and appreciate them as a group and as individual people that I am honored to call not only my children but my friends. I like the people they are and love watching as they continue to grow into the people they will be.

I am thankful for my 6 beautiful grandbabies. I don't get to see 5 of them nearly enough but when I do get to spend time with them they bring back the memories of being a child and I love seeing the world through their eyes.

I am thankful for my friends. All of them the ones here that I can call when I have had a horrible day, Sandra, Leigh, and they always give me something to remind me that tomorrow is another day. I am also thankful for the wonderful friends I don't see as often anymore, Red, Russ, Glenna you have all added something special to my life and have been there for me when I needed you. You tell me when I am being stupid or forgetful of all that I have and you cheer me on and up just when I need it most. I am also thankful for those of you I only know from this big old internet. Thank you for sharing your lives and for coming into mine. Trish, Debbie, Whitney and I know I am forgetting some names not that I would forget any of you in any way. It is just that I am not a name person.

I am thankful for my life, for this journey I have been travelling, for the places I have been and the places I have yet to go.. It hasn't always been easy but, it has always been worth the ride.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to you all..I wish you all love and happiness and if you would just do me one little favor. Take a look around, no matter what your circumstances are right now.. no matter how hard life seems. Think about all that you do have and give thanks.

Y'all have fun

Uh Oh Tammy Poetry

I haven't blogged for a couple days.. I have been in too much pain.. and I am sorta gonna cheat on this post but oh well..

Warning I am not as gifted a poet as my sweet, wonderful hubby but, sometimes the writing bug gets me too.. this is one that I wrote a while back .. it is just a little bit racy.. and yeah it is about my honey..

Patience

Quiet, peaceful, serene.
hearts beating together,
skin touching.

Feeling a rising heat,
hands exploring,
no words needed.

Breathing deepens,
a sudden sharp intake of breath
a shiver passes through.

Reacting to the gentlest touch,
like a surge of electricity
discovering all the places needing to be touched.

Tasting each other,
lips touching, tongues entwined,
tasting, devouring each other.

Hungry eyes taking in all they can see,
understanding instinctively,
all that has not been said.

Excitement growing,
breathless anticipation,
desiring more.

Waiting patiently to be sated,
exquisite torture.

Tammy J.
July 20, 2005


I don't know if I will post anymore of my poetry. I have to find it ... It is somewhere in a pink folder in this house. Like I said I am not as talented as Ron.. but I hope y'all enjoy it anyway.

Y'all have fun

The Brats

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Rocky Has A New Home

Rocky has a new home. Ron and I drove him to meet his new owners earlier this evening. I had had several phone conversations with the wife and she seemed very sweet and sincere about just wanting a pet for her family (her, hubby 2 boys 3,and 8) so tonight we got Rocky in the truck and drove about 40 miles to meet them halfway between their house and ours. We stood out in the drizzling rain while Rocky got acquainted with them. He played tug-o-war with both of them. He jumped and wiggled and begged for petting, pretty much showed them all of his personality and they played right back with him and seemed to take a liking to him. It was all pretty easy until it was time for us to go. He got into their truck we got into ours and he was looking across the hubby at us like " where are you going without me?" that part really sucked. We left and went to find a bite to eat and it seemed like a longer drive home than usual.

When we got home Dusty was running around the house, he has looked and looked like he knows someone is missing but he is enjoying the freedom of not having to be in our room or kennelled. I know this is better for Rocky and Dusty and in a lot of ways for us too. There will be no more dogs fighting, no more of me getting jumped on or my feet nipped at as I come down the stairs. There will also be no more need of the major strategic exercises to make sure the dogs had no contact with each other.

I know it was the right decision and his new owners seem like great folks but I am gonna miss the little guy. We have had him since he was a 5 week old fur ball with legs. I will probably worry a bit about him and shed a few tears ( a few more) and then like all moms I will have to let him go. I know he loves kids and he loves attention and I believe he will have all he wants and needs in his new home.

Be happy in your new home Rocky.. we still love you.

Y'all have fun

Me Strange? Nahhhhh

Ron is always teasing me about my tastes in TV shows. He will be in the sitting room and I am in the bedroom on my heating pad watching TV and he will hear something he finds strange and will ask " Honey, what ARE you watching in there?" Now I will admit I do watch some out of the ordinary things. I like notorious on the history channel, along with several other shows like....deranged, most evil, snapped, taboo, the dog whisperer, and what not to wear. As you can tell my tastes are somewhat eclectic, but sometimes have an underlying theme of the unusual behaviors of people. I am not a weirdo in the sense of watching these shows to get pointers. (well not most of the time) just kidding. I have always been interested in medicine and in psychiatry. I like to know what makes people tick and what forces influence people to turn out the way they do. My reading materials run along the same lines sometimes. Right now I am reading a book by Ann Rule called Every Breath You Take. It is about this really screwed up psychotic man who becomes a multimillionaire and continues to stalk and abuse his ex wife who he eventually kills. It just makes me wonder why people turn out cruel or kind, abusive, loving, basically why we all are the way we are. Just so y'all don't think I am completely nuts I also read anything from Nora Roberts, to Danielle Steel to Stephen King and Dean Koontz..and everything in between .. OK so those last two can be a bit strange but oh well..

I would love to know if the strange reading and watching habits are something unique to me or if most of my female friends are also that interested in what makes folks tick. What do you read or watch? Oh yeah.. I also love Football ( college or pro) and basketball and will tell any guy to get out of the way of the tv if one of my favorite teams are playing. A good lifetime movie will get my attention too.. but then again they often run towards killers , kidnappers, and psychotic people. Maybe I am strange after all..

Time to get off here Deranged comes on in a few or is that What not to wear.. One thing is for sure if I ever do snap .. I will be well dressed for the occasion..

Y'all have fun

Goodbye to Rocky

The end of Rocky living here has come.. this afternoon Rocky was outside, Dusty was in our bedroom.. Kyle took food to Dusty and was going back out the door, Dusty decided to run for it at about the same time Chelsea decided it would be a good idea to let Rocky in the house. I was in the bathroom and hear this awful fight ensue between them. Then I heard Kyle holler in pain. Ron sent him into the bathroom with me.. here I am trying to finish my business and in walks a bleeding Kyle. His right hand was streaming blood every where it seems when he tried to break the dogs up Dusty bit him instead of Rocky talk about biting the hand that feeds you. It was a bad enough bite to spend 3 hours at the ER and require 5 stitches.. that is it.. I have had enough.. Even though it wasn't Rocky that did the biting he did do the instigating as usual.. anyone want an AKC registered 15month old male boxer? We are trying to find a place for him. The nearest no kill shelter is about 60miles from here we will be calling them in the morning as well as the boxer rescue. It will take too long to place him by running an ad and I don't want to dawdle on this.. He really is a sweet dog on his own but he and Dusty simply don't get along and with the injury to Kyle I really don't want to take any more chances while trying to train him. So.. it is the end of his time with us.. I won't have him put down.. I know he can be trained but I don't have the time or the inclination to do it now.. I just can't take the chance.. It will break my heart to say goodbye to him for all of his faults I love the little guy and I know he can be a great dog .. just not a great dog for us. I most likely won't go with Ron to take him to the shelter or where ever he goes.. I know I will bawl my eyes out if I do.. but this has to be done..

In other news.. Lacey will be in heat this weekend and apparently I will be providing the honeymoon suite for her and her suitor.. they will have the whole back room to themselves.. I wonder if the lil' guy will bring her flowers and a good wine.. he might need the wine, Lacey isn't the nicest little thing about the whole breeding process.

I think I am gonna get off here and check on my boy.. see if he needs anything for pain.. one thing he does like about this injury.. he gets out of dish night for the next week. I told the Dr that he will be begging the other dogs to bite him every week if it gets him outta doing dishes.. oh yeah and tonight is trash night.. and he can't do that either.. hmm I wonder if I could get one of the dogs to bite my hand?

Y'all have fun

Dogs & Coffee

I have a question.. OK I have a story then a question.. Ron and I have 2 boxers which most of you already know. Dusty is almost 2 and Rocky is 15 months. They used to be friends they would play together and rough house then they would lay down and go to sleep together. Then they both hit doggie puberty.. there were a few easily broken up skirmishes, nothing serious. Then we fostered Samson for a few weeks and all you know what has broken loose between Rocky and Dusty now days.. If they see each other Rocky will go after Dusty and Dusty will not back down for any reason. We have to literally pull them apart and it takes several of us to do it. I have been bitten by both of them in the process, Ron has injured his hand as has Kyle. Chelsea so far has been uninjured. I have trained dogs for years I have always been very good at it. However when there are 2 dogs of their size that need to be trained at the same time and the trainer has serious back problems it can be a job almost too big to handle.

My question is have any of you had a similar problem? If so what did you do to solve it. ( expensive training is not an option) I want to keep both of them. Individually they are wonderful, sweet, loving dogs.. Dusty is neutered Rocky isn't . I don't want to fix him unless I have to. I would like to breed him 1 time before he is fixed. Help.... If anyone has any good tips, please feel free to share them..

Oh yeah and my little pain in the butt Lacey ( mini Dachshund) is in heat right now so both of the guys are all up in arms about that too.. not that they could do anything about it without her having a step ladder..

Well I am off.. I have to go check on the cleaning process of my way cool but technologically advanced coffee pot.. apparently it isn't enough to just pour vinegar in the dang thing there is an entire process to cleaning it.. who knew.. all I want is a good cup of coffee or ten especially now dealing with these dogs.. ya know..

Y'all have fun

OK this is all about seriously cool.... Ron my sweet wonderful hubby... (no I am not sucking up) got up at 7am on a Saturday no less to go to one of his least favorite places ( Wal-mart) to stand in line for 30 mins or more to buy my newest toys one of which I am using right now to type this post on, he got me a laptop. I have been wanting one for a while now and he was going to get me one for my b day but I told him never mind on that one due to cost considerations and such. Yesterday while doing his usual browsing the web thing he came across an ad walmart had for this laptop for 50% off it's original price so there my sweet honey was this morning out in the cold driving to stand in line and get it for me. I love it... I was sitting in the bed with my old dear friend the heating pad just blogging away, now I have come out to the front porch where I can enjoy the sunlight and outdoors as well as have a cigarette all while continuing to post here.. tell me does it get any better? He also got me the digital picture key chain I have been wanting.. I don't know how he knew I have been wanting it. I didn't tell him but he is good about just knowing things. He also said he would like to take me out this evening. I don't know what I have done to deserve all this.. and no he isn't in any trouble that I know of. He is just a sweety.

I think I may be able to keep up with my blog now and get back into the swing of things. I have no excuses not to now I can stay on my heating pad and type, I can be outside and type, I can go most anywhere wireless is available and type, hmmm maybe that is it. Maybe I had been neglecting my blog for so long he had to take drastic measures to get me back in and online. But I think it is mostly just because he likes spoiling me.. that works for me..

Well off to play with my new toy more.. Y'all have fun

back to school and other things

yay!! Kyle was able to go back to school today. I know the little guy had a rough time with the tonsillectomy and all but whew it was good to have him back at school today. There was driving to mom in law's to drop off a cabinet, there was adult conversation, and there was no continuous talking from the backseat. I did wind up taking Sierra and Cloe to the store today and Kyle went along for the ride but that was after he had gotten most of his talking done at school.

In other news I got my turn down letter for disability benefits a couple of days ago, so now starts the appeals process. The letter stated that I was not disabled because I had worked as a cashier in the past and should be able to do that now. Sure if they help me find a job that allows me to lie down after sitting or standing for more than 30 minutes, and will also let me not ring up many customers as running a register for more than say 20 minutes would kill my hands. By the time I finish this post my right hand will be hurting and I won't be able to use it for a while. I would love to be working, but as hard as it was for me to come to terms with, I know I can't work anymore. Oh well I will be filing my appeal tomorrow and we will see what happens from there.

Well, my honey just got in the nice cozy waterbed with me so I'm outta here.

y'all have fun.

Second Time Around Today

I do realize it has only been a few hours since my last post but apparently the earlier post caused some word dam to break in my brain and here I am again at the keyboard.

I have decided it is time for me to jump into the political quagmire. I am so tired of hearing about this one did this and that one did that, and add to it the e mails of myth, legend and downright lies and you have nothing but a bunch of adults acting like 3rd graders you know the " did not" "did too" thing. That is what this entire election has sounded like. Somewhere in this mess of misinformation, and innuendo I have managed to choose whom I am going to vote for based on the facts I have been able to research. Hmmm there is a novel idea a person making a decision on whom to vote for based on facts, research and not TV ads and emails.

We have a large group of friends, very diverse for the most part in lifestyle, religion, politics and economic status. We respect the rights of all of them to believe what they believe. To vote the way they want to vote based on those beliefs and in fact either one of us would fight to defend their right to believe and vote whichever way they want. I just wish several of the people we know would respect our right to do the same. We hear how bad our world is from people we love and respect, we hear that the party we choose will take this country to hell in a hand basket. We have had a couple of people we know get downright angry because we don't see things in the same way they do. Here is the deal people, this country was founded on the principle that everyone is equal and have the same rights as everyone else. I will fight to defend that principle I will always listen to someone else's opinion even if I don't agree with it and will support that person's right to have that opinion. Please feel free to do the same with me. I don't go around spouting my political beliefs but as with my religious beliefs I will give you my opinion if asked for it. I will not try to convert you to my way of thinking I will not judge you if your opinion differs from mine. So don't do it to me.. It tends to piss me off.

OK sorry bout that but this stuff has been on my mind for a bit and it just all came spewing out of my fingers and onto the screen. If I have offended anyone I am sorry but like the television if you don't want to watch something that is on because it offends you change the channel. I do not ever want or try to offend anyone but I also know you can't please everyone all the time so if you don't like what I have to say I respectfully say to you don't read my blog.

I think I finally have most of that out of my head. I may actually be able to sleep now.. Have a good night..

Y'all have fun