Friday, December 26, 2008

I am Home and Not in Pain

I am home and resting in my bed. For the first time in almost a month I am able to lay in my bed without pain. I can roll over. I can lay on my back, or side, the only drawback is I am not allowed to sleep on my stomach and you guessed it I am a belly sleeper normally. I think I will be able to deal with this minor problem however, after all I have been sleeping (sorta) sitting up in a chair for over 3 weeks.

The surgery went well, my doctor removed 3 large pieces of the disk and scraped things out well. Hoping that the scraping will encourage the bones to fuse together on their own, negating the necessity for future fusion surgery. I hope it works out that way but right now I am just thankful for what I have, or rather don't have. ( pain)

I want to thank all my kids and my family and friends for the visits, phone calls and e mails.. the encouragement and prayers are so welcome and appreciated.

Not to make light of my love for any of my kids or to say I love one more than the others or anything like that I do need to tell one of them a special I love you. Audrey, you are not my child by birth, I couldn't love you more if you were. I am so fortunate and so honored to be able to call you my daughter. Thank you for every thing. Love you kiddo.

Well I am gonna get off here now and enjoy my pain free rest.. Thank you all

Y'all have fun

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Improving Slightly

I just realized this morning that I hadn't posted anything in over a week. I also realized I haven't driven a car in almost 3 weeks so not posting suddenly didn't seem so bad. I am feeling somewhat better, the debilitating, excruciating, drop dead now pain has for the most part passed, what I have now is more of a constant pain/irritation sorta feels like a pulled muscle. I can really live with this a lot better. I am used to chronic back pain so over the years I have learned some coping mechanisms for that, if I keep my brain busy I can pretty much block it.

I have gotten out a bit more this week, that has done a lot for my mental and emotional health if not my physical. I am not a stay cooped up in the house type person, I love being outdoors, now don't get me wrong I am not the roughing it in the woods, eating berries type either, I just like the fresh air and sunshine. We haven't had much sunshine lately but here in KY we have plenty of fresh air. I even got most of the Christmas shopping done with only one pair of socks being purchased and those didn't make it to Christmas Chella got them the same day I bought them. I even got brave and went thrift store shopping. That is one of my favorite activities, I hate department stores for the most part, but thrift stores are like a bargain hunters mecca and I am queen of the bargain, my kids say I can smell a bargain happening in another part of the state. I didn't buy much but it felt good to be able to walk, yep walk around the store. I walked slowly but it was still upright transport.

I am looking forward to this weeks family Christmas party, I am making a ham, mashed potatoes, and 2 pumpkin pies. Chella is making a cake. Kyle is doing cookies and I am sure Sierra will cook something. If it is anything like cooking was on Thanksgiving it should be a blast and I bet I won't even notice my back/leg pain.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and positive thoughts they have not gone unanswered. While I am not healed I have had a great deal of pain reduction and just knowing there are people out there who don't even really know me that care enough to pray and wish me well does wonders for my heart. A special thank you to a special lady who sent me the most wonderful lumbar support and sleep mask filled with yummy smelling herbs to make me feel better. They have helped, you are such a sweet person. In the midst of your own problems you took time out to think of us. I know there are so many blessings ahead for you.

It will be a busy week around here. We have the party on Tuesday, Christmas, and Sierra's birthday on Friday which happens to be the same day I am having surgery. Sierra told me yesterday, " Mom, I will have other birthdays and all I really want for my 20th is for you to come through surgery healthy and not in pain." Thank you kiddo, I love you.

Well my pain meds just kicked in so I had better stop typing while I am still somewhat coherent.

I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas, may you be blessed with all the love and joy of the season.

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Still Standing...Ok Sitting

I am still around. I haven't disappeared or anything I just really have been in too much pain to type or walk or well heck do much of anything.

Ron has been wonderful, from cooking dinners to waiting on me hand and foot and getting the youngin up for school even to staying up with me til 5:30am because he knew I was uncomfortable so he couldn't go lay down in the bed and get comfortable himself, He is the sweetest man I know.

The kids have been helping out as well..Kyle has been the real trouper though, he makes my coffee and brings me a cup in the mornings, he volunteers to do most anything he can to help me out.. what a great kid.

Chelsea has helped by doing chores for me and bringing me stuff, even Sierra who has the Cloe to chase has been great about doing things for me that I can't do for myself, Heck Cloe takes empty diet dew bottles and other things to throw them away for grandma.

I am so thankful to my family, they have been helping without making me feel useless, being useless is a big fear of mine, I have always been very independent and strong willed. I never liked asking anyone for help, if I couldn't do it by myself then I just didn't do whatever it was or dang near killed myself trying. That is just who I am, stubborn, hardheaded, strong willed, obstinate, and very very determined. This past week I have learned that accepting help from those who love you when you need it, is a great way to make them feel needed and loved. That is how they make me feel, that when they are doing something for me it isn't a burden but a labor of love.

Our pastor came to the house on Sunday eve with his wife and another friend from church, I had called him earlier in the day to ask him to come here to pray for me, They and we all prayed, and for the first time that day I was able to stand up straight and sit leaning towards my left instead of my right. I know that God can and does heal us. I haven't had the intensity of that pain from that time on. I still have pain, but I honestly think God has left me some of the pain to remind me that it is OK to ask for help, and so that I won't go back to thinking I am superwoman and then not get this problem fixed. He can heal it completely but he also knows I am stubborn and if he takes all the pain I will be right back trying to do all the things my body can no longer do. So thank you Brother and Sister R, and Robin. I love all of you.

I also want to thank all of you that have been sending prayer and positive energy my way. It means more than I can say, and I certainly can't express it as well as my sweet hubby did on his blog.

The plan for fixing this mess right now is starting with an MRI tomorrow, stronger pain meds, and a follow up with my orthopaedic surgeon next Wednesday when he will most likely suggest surgery to remove the disc that is causing all the trouble.... gotta hate those trouble making discs, geesh. I don't care if he suggests the surgery for 3am, I am so there. The last time this happened the surgery took care of all the pain in my right leg I haven't even had a twinge since, so I have every reason to believe that this time will do the same for my left leg. So if y'all don't mind too much I would so appreciate your continued prayers and good thoughts.

Well my handsome honey has gone into MY ( he is only renting it) kitchen to cook some supper so I think I will try to go in there to sit in a chair and do what I can to help.. that is if he lets me.

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Dr. Idiot Paging Dr. Idiot

Ron was right I am gonna fill y'all in on Dr. Idiot. First let me say I have a great deal of respect for dr's I in fact was accepted to a pre med program when I was 16 but, got married instead. So I do love medicine and respect those that practice it. Every now and then you run into the 10th yr resident who was at best a d student that doesn't realize that sometimes.. just sometimes the patient may have a clue.

I don't usually seek medical care unless I know I can't handle something myself. Yesterday I could not walk when I got up due to the excruciating pain in my back and left leg. The day wore on and I realized that I couldn't take the pain any longer. It was too late to call my Ortho. and I don't think I would have made it to Lexington 35 miles away in a vehicle anyway. I have a hard time riding or driving the vibrations in the road generally make it a way less than pleasant experience. Back to yesterday. It was about 5pm when I got Sierra to take me to our wonderful little band aid station. oops I mean hospital. There was no one in the waiting room when we got there. The triage nurse took me straight away, then I went to registration for the inevitable paperwork, once that was done I was told it would be just a few minutes to go to the lobby and wait, so that is what I did.. I waited for an hour and 35 mins. Finally they call my name.. the nurse does all the prelims, you know the usual, urine, take off all of your nice warm clothes and put on this paper thin gown open in the back so you can get a really good draft and lay down on the table ( which I can't do) the doctor will be with you shortly. What exactly is the measurement of time for shortly anyway? It wasn't really that long before a very nice lady Dr came in to see me.. I gave her a very extensive background on my back conditions. She said OK, lets get you a steroid, muscle relaxer, and something for pain in an IV and see if that helps. So that is what they did.. Sometime while they had me stoned on morphine and robaxin they had a shift change, this is never a good thing when you are in the hosp. In walks Dr. Idiot. He asked me how I felt, I told him somewhat better pain level at that point was about a 5 it is usually a 7 or 8. He asked me what had happened to put me in such pain, I gave him the exact history that I had given the other dr. He looks at me and says well you know it probably isn't the L4 at all. I asked him what made him think that , He tells me that a lot of times people don't know what is wrong with them and not everyone is truthful about what they have done. I told him. Dude I know my own medical history quite well I know what is wrong with my own body and my orthopaedic surgeon told me this was a good possibility when he removed the L5, what they normally give me is a prednizone dose pack for a week, a cortisone shot, and a script for muscle relaxers because I don't like to take pain killers unless I have to. He then tells me that he is going to write a script for lortab and send me home.. I asked him.. Did you hear anything I just said? I was speaking English right? He again tells me that sometimes people just want painkillers. I told him I didn't want pain killers I just want the prednizone, and muscle relaxer to get me through until I can get into my Ortho's office.. He went on to say again that the L4 is probably not the cause and most likely not herniated. Now mind you he had done no x rays or even a physical exam of my back you can actually feel my scoliosis and where the disc is protruding through I have a skinny back and it is easy to feel. I told him.. Yeah and you are the same Dr that told me that my 11 month old granddaughter was manipulating us by holding her breath and passing out even though there is no medical support EVER to show that a baby that young is capable of such complex planning and execution of said plan. I finally just told him. " SEND ME HOME".. he did.. with a prescription for.. you guessed it.. lortab. So I am sitting here today in not as much pain thanks to the lady doc giving me the steroid and wondering how this guy even got into med school in the first place.. oh well.. I will call my ortho and find out what we can do about getting me in and go from there.. at least I know he is a good dr.

Ron is still sniffling and sneezing through the day but his fever is down which puts my mind at ease a bit.. he told you all about his heart and such so I won't go into it again except to tell you how stubborn he is and how he needs to let me take better care of him.

Well I think I am gonna try to navigate the stairs there is food down there..

Y'all have fun

Friday, November 28, 2008

Dreams Do Come True

Whew... the cooking marathon is over. The food is put away the house is back to its regular clutter and not the holiday disaster it was yesterday. There is enough left over in the fridge (not red yet) to feed a large 3rd world country for the next couple of weeks. I loved every minute of it.

When my girls were little and under my feet in the kitchen while I was trying to cook I used to dream about the day when they would be in the kitchen with me helping to prepare a big holiday meal. I had this idea that we would work well together with no arguing or fussing from anyone. That we wouldn't get in each other's way but would be genuinely happy to be working together as a team.. Yesterday that dream came true. It actually started Wed. night. We all worked on pies. Chella and Caleb did the cherry pie, Kyle did the apple pie, Sierra did the pecan pie, and I did my usual pumpkin pies. It was great we were in the kitchen at the same time and you have to understand something about my kitchen here.. It is about the size of a short hallway, anyway we were all in there at the same time, laughing, reaching for ingredients, teasing each other, it was wonderful and the pies turned out beautifully. That same team spirit carried over into yesterday. We all worked together to make a beautiful and delicious meal. I loved it. I think the kids had a much better time knowing they helped out so much in the preparation of the meal. I knew I would have to rely on them a lot this year because of my back, but they all went above and beyond. Kudos to you my kiddos, I am so very proud of you all and love you so much.

We will be living on leftovers for the next 3 days or so but that has always been one of my favorite parts of thanksgiving , cook like a maniac for a few days and then take the next week off.

Ron and I seem to have caught miss Cloe's cold so we will be skipping the black friday shopping frenzy or as I like to call it... hell. We will do our shopping later next week. We also have to prepare for a b day party for Chella she will be 18 on the 8th and we will be having her party on the 6th. Hmmm a room full of teenagers wolfing down food.. didn't we just do that yesterday? Oh well it should be a good time for all.. I hear Cloe up downstairs I think I am gonna go spend some time with the little angel/demon. I hope all of you had as wonderful a thanksgiving as we did.. God Bless

Y'all have fun

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Time to Give Thanks

On this day before Thanksgiving, before I drag myself out of my nice comfy chair and downstairs to get started on my pies I just want to take a few minutes to let you all know what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for God, for His mercy for His love but, mostly for His patience in waiting on me to finally get on the ball and depend on Him and to give my heart and my problems over to Him knowing they will be taken care of.

I am thankful for my Ron. He is my comfort, my hopes,my desires, the light and love of my life. He is my soft place to land and my solid ground when things get shaky.

I am thankful for my 7 children for the love and joy they have brought into my life as well as the heartaches and headaches that have allowed me to grow with them and appreciate them as a group and as individual people that I am honored to call not only my children but my friends. I like the people they are and love watching as they continue to grow into the people they will be.

I am thankful for my 6 beautiful grandbabies. I don't get to see 5 of them nearly enough but when I do get to spend time with them they bring back the memories of being a child and I love seeing the world through their eyes.

I am thankful for my friends. All of them the ones here that I can call when I have had a horrible day, Sandra, Leigh, and they always give me something to remind me that tomorrow is another day. I am also thankful for the wonderful friends I don't see as often anymore, Red, Russ, Glenna you have all added something special to my life and have been there for me when I needed you. You tell me when I am being stupid or forgetful of all that I have and you cheer me on and up just when I need it most. I am also thankful for those of you I only know from this big old internet. Thank you for sharing your lives and for coming into mine. Trish, Debbie, Whitney and I know I am forgetting some names not that I would forget any of you in any way. It is just that I am not a name person.

I am thankful for my life, for this journey I have been travelling, for the places I have been and the places I have yet to go.. It hasn't always been easy but, it has always been worth the ride.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to you all..I wish you all love and happiness and if you would just do me one little favor. Take a look around, no matter what your circumstances are right now.. no matter how hard life seems. Think about all that you do have and give thanks.

Y'all have fun

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Uh Oh Tammy Poetry

I haven't blogged for a couple days.. I have been in too much pain.. and I am sorta gonna cheat on this post but oh well..

Warning I am not as gifted a poet as my sweet, wonderful hubby but, sometimes the writing bug gets me too.. this is one that I wrote a while back .. it is just a little bit racy.. and yeah it is about my honey..


Quiet, peaceful, serene.
hearts beating together,
skin touching.

Feeling a rising heat,
hands exploring,
no words needed.

Breathing deepens,
a sudden sharp intake of breath
a shiver passes through.

Reacting to the gentlest touch,
like a surge of electricity
discovering all the places needing to be touched.

Tasting each other,
lips touching, tongues entwined,
tasting, devouring each other.

Hungry eyes taking in all they can see,
understanding instinctively,
all that has not been said.

Excitement growing,
breathless anticipation,
desiring more.

Waiting patiently to be sated,
exquisite torture.

Tammy J.
July 20, 2005

I don't know if I will post anymore of my poetry. I have to find it ... It is somewhere in a pink folder in this house. Like I said I am not as talented as Ron.. but I hope y'all enjoy it anyway.

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Brats

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Friday, November 14, 2008

Rocky Has A New Home

Rocky has a new home. Ron and I drove him to meet his new owners earlier this evening. I had had several phone conversations with the wife and she seemed very sweet and sincere about just wanting a pet for her family (her, hubby 2 boys 3,and 8) so tonight we got Rocky in the truck and drove about 40 miles to meet them halfway between their house and ours. We stood out in the drizzling rain while Rocky got acquainted with them. He played tug-o-war with both of them. He jumped and wiggled and begged for petting, pretty much showed them all of his personality and they played right back with him and seemed to take a liking to him. It was all pretty easy until it was time for us to go. He got into their truck we got into ours and he was looking across the hubby at us like " where are you going without me?" that part really sucked. We left and went to find a bite to eat and it seemed like a longer drive home than usual.

When we got home Dusty was running around the house, he has looked and looked like he knows someone is missing but he is enjoying the freedom of not having to be in our room or kennelled. I know this is better for Rocky and Dusty and in a lot of ways for us too. There will be no more dogs fighting, no more of me getting jumped on or my feet nipped at as I come down the stairs. There will also be no more need of the major strategic exercises to make sure the dogs had no contact with each other.

I know it was the right decision and his new owners seem like great folks but I am gonna miss the little guy. We have had him since he was a 5 week old fur ball with legs. I will probably worry a bit about him and shed a few tears ( a few more) and then like all moms I will have to let him go. I know he loves kids and he loves attention and I believe he will have all he wants and needs in his new home.

Be happy in your new home Rocky.. we still love you.

Y'all have fun

Me Strange? Nahhhhh

Ron is always teasing me about my tastes in TV shows. He will be in the sitting room and I am in the bedroom on my heating pad watching TV and he will hear something he finds strange and will ask " Honey, what ARE you watching in there?" Now I will admit I do watch some out of the ordinary things. I like notorious on the history channel, along with several other shows like....deranged, most evil, snapped, taboo, the dog whisperer, and what not to wear. As you can tell my tastes are somewhat eclectic, but sometimes have an underlying theme of the unusual behaviors of people. I am not a weirdo in the sense of watching these shows to get pointers. (well not most of the time) just kidding. I have always been interested in medicine and in psychiatry. I like to know what makes people tick and what forces influence people to turn out the way they do. My reading materials run along the same lines sometimes. Right now I am reading a book by Ann Rule called Every Breath You Take. It is about this really screwed up psychotic man who becomes a multimillionaire and continues to stalk and abuse his ex wife who he eventually kills. It just makes me wonder why people turn out cruel or kind, abusive, loving, basically why we all are the way we are. Just so y'all don't think I am completely nuts I also read anything from Nora Roberts, to Danielle Steel to Stephen King and Dean Koontz..and everything in between .. OK so those last two can be a bit strange but oh well..

I would love to know if the strange reading and watching habits are something unique to me or if most of my female friends are also that interested in what makes folks tick. What do you read or watch? Oh yeah.. I also love Football ( college or pro) and basketball and will tell any guy to get out of the way of the tv if one of my favorite teams are playing. A good lifetime movie will get my attention too.. but then again they often run towards killers , kidnappers, and psychotic people. Maybe I am strange after all..

Time to get off here Deranged comes on in a few or is that What not to wear.. One thing is for sure if I ever do snap .. I will be well dressed for the occasion..

Y'all have fun

Monday, November 10, 2008

Goodbye to Rocky

The end of Rocky living here has come.. this afternoon Rocky was outside, Dusty was in our bedroom.. Kyle took food to Dusty and was going back out the door, Dusty decided to run for it at about the same time Chelsea decided it would be a good idea to let Rocky in the house. I was in the bathroom and hear this awful fight ensue between them. Then I heard Kyle holler in pain. Ron sent him into the bathroom with me.. here I am trying to finish my business and in walks a bleeding Kyle. His right hand was streaming blood every where it seems when he tried to break the dogs up Dusty bit him instead of Rocky talk about biting the hand that feeds you. It was a bad enough bite to spend 3 hours at the ER and require 5 stitches.. that is it.. I have had enough.. Even though it wasn't Rocky that did the biting he did do the instigating as usual.. anyone want an AKC registered 15month old male boxer? We are trying to find a place for him. The nearest no kill shelter is about 60miles from here we will be calling them in the morning as well as the boxer rescue. It will take too long to place him by running an ad and I don't want to dawdle on this.. He really is a sweet dog on his own but he and Dusty simply don't get along and with the injury to Kyle I really don't want to take any more chances while trying to train him. So.. it is the end of his time with us.. I won't have him put down.. I know he can be trained but I don't have the time or the inclination to do it now.. I just can't take the chance.. It will break my heart to say goodbye to him for all of his faults I love the little guy and I know he can be a great dog .. just not a great dog for us. I most likely won't go with Ron to take him to the shelter or where ever he goes.. I know I will bawl my eyes out if I do.. but this has to be done..

In other news.. Lacey will be in heat this weekend and apparently I will be providing the honeymoon suite for her and her suitor.. they will have the whole back room to themselves.. I wonder if the lil' guy will bring her flowers and a good wine.. he might need the wine, Lacey isn't the nicest little thing about the whole breeding process.

I think I am gonna get off here and check on my boy.. see if he needs anything for pain.. one thing he does like about this injury.. he gets out of dish night for the next week. I told the Dr that he will be begging the other dogs to bite him every week if it gets him outta doing dishes.. oh yeah and tonight is trash night.. and he can't do that either.. hmm I wonder if I could get one of the dogs to bite my hand?

Y'all have fun

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Dogs & Coffee

I have a question.. OK I have a story then a question.. Ron and I have 2 boxers which most of you already know. Dusty is almost 2 and Rocky is 15 months. They used to be friends they would play together and rough house then they would lay down and go to sleep together. Then they both hit doggie puberty.. there were a few easily broken up skirmishes, nothing serious. Then we fostered Samson for a few weeks and all you know what has broken loose between Rocky and Dusty now days.. If they see each other Rocky will go after Dusty and Dusty will not back down for any reason. We have to literally pull them apart and it takes several of us to do it. I have been bitten by both of them in the process, Ron has injured his hand as has Kyle. Chelsea so far has been uninjured. I have trained dogs for years I have always been very good at it. However when there are 2 dogs of their size that need to be trained at the same time and the trainer has serious back problems it can be a job almost too big to handle.

My question is have any of you had a similar problem? If so what did you do to solve it. ( expensive training is not an option) I want to keep both of them. Individually they are wonderful, sweet, loving dogs.. Dusty is neutered Rocky isn't . I don't want to fix him unless I have to. I would like to breed him 1 time before he is fixed. Help.... If anyone has any good tips, please feel free to share them..

Oh yeah and my little pain in the butt Lacey ( mini Dachshund) is in heat right now so both of the guys are all up in arms about that too.. not that they could do anything about it without her having a step ladder..

Well I am off.. I have to go check on the cleaning process of my way cool but technologically advanced coffee pot.. apparently it isn't enough to just pour vinegar in the dang thing there is an entire process to cleaning it.. who knew.. all I want is a good cup of coffee or ten especially now dealing with these dogs.. ya know..

Y'all have fun

Saturday, November 08, 2008

OK this is all about seriously cool.... Ron my sweet wonderful hubby... (no I am not sucking up) got up at 7am on a Saturday no less to go to one of his least favorite places ( Wal-mart) to stand in line for 30 mins or more to buy my newest toys one of which I am using right now to type this post on, he got me a laptop. I have been wanting one for a while now and he was going to get me one for my b day but I told him never mind on that one due to cost considerations and such. Yesterday while doing his usual browsing the web thing he came across an ad walmart had for this laptop for 50% off it's original price so there my sweet honey was this morning out in the cold driving to stand in line and get it for me. I love it... I was sitting in the bed with my old dear friend the heating pad just blogging away, now I have come out to the front porch where I can enjoy the sunlight and outdoors as well as have a cigarette all while continuing to post here.. tell me does it get any better? He also got me the digital picture key chain I have been wanting.. I don't know how he knew I have been wanting it. I didn't tell him but he is good about just knowing things. He also said he would like to take me out this evening. I don't know what I have done to deserve all this.. and no he isn't in any trouble that I know of. He is just a sweety.

I think I may be able to keep up with my blog now and get back into the swing of things. I have no excuses not to now I can stay on my heating pad and type, I can be outside and type, I can go most anywhere wireless is available and type, hmmm maybe that is it. Maybe I had been neglecting my blog for so long he had to take drastic measures to get me back in and online. But I think it is mostly just because he likes spoiling me.. that works for me..

Well off to play with my new toy more.. Y'all have fun

Monday, October 27, 2008

back to school and other things

yay!! Kyle was able to go back to school today. I know the little guy had a rough time with the tonsillectomy and all but whew it was good to have him back at school today. There was driving to mom in law's to drop off a cabinet, there was adult conversation, and there was no continuous talking from the backseat. I did wind up taking Sierra and Cloe to the store today and Kyle went along for the ride but that was after he had gotten most of his talking done at school.

In other news I got my turn down letter for disability benefits a couple of days ago, so now starts the appeals process. The letter stated that I was not disabled because I had worked as a cashier in the past and should be able to do that now. Sure if they help me find a job that allows me to lie down after sitting or standing for more than 30 minutes, and will also let me not ring up many customers as running a register for more than say 20 minutes would kill my hands. By the time I finish this post my right hand will be hurting and I won't be able to use it for a while. I would love to be working, but as hard as it was for me to come to terms with, I know I can't work anymore. Oh well I will be filing my appeal tomorrow and we will see what happens from there.

Well, my honey just got in the nice cozy waterbed with me so I'm outta here.

y'all have fun.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Second Time Around Today

I do realize it has only been a few hours since my last post but apparently the earlier post caused some word dam to break in my brain and here I am again at the keyboard.

I have decided it is time for me to jump into the political quagmire. I am so tired of hearing about this one did this and that one did that, and add to it the e mails of myth, legend and downright lies and you have nothing but a bunch of adults acting like 3rd graders you know the " did not" "did too" thing. That is what this entire election has sounded like. Somewhere in this mess of misinformation, and innuendo I have managed to choose whom I am going to vote for based on the facts I have been able to research. Hmmm there is a novel idea a person making a decision on whom to vote for based on facts, research and not TV ads and emails.

We have a large group of friends, very diverse for the most part in lifestyle, religion, politics and economic status. We respect the rights of all of them to believe what they believe. To vote the way they want to vote based on those beliefs and in fact either one of us would fight to defend their right to believe and vote whichever way they want. I just wish several of the people we know would respect our right to do the same. We hear how bad our world is from people we love and respect, we hear that the party we choose will take this country to hell in a hand basket. We have had a couple of people we know get downright angry because we don't see things in the same way they do. Here is the deal people, this country was founded on the principle that everyone is equal and have the same rights as everyone else. I will fight to defend that principle I will always listen to someone else's opinion even if I don't agree with it and will support that person's right to have that opinion. Please feel free to do the same with me. I don't go around spouting my political beliefs but as with my religious beliefs I will give you my opinion if asked for it. I will not try to convert you to my way of thinking I will not judge you if your opinion differs from mine. So don't do it to me.. It tends to piss me off.

OK sorry bout that but this stuff has been on my mind for a bit and it just all came spewing out of my fingers and onto the screen. If I have offended anyone I am sorry but like the television if you don't want to watch something that is on because it offends you change the channel. I do not ever want or try to offend anyone but I also know you can't please everyone all the time so if you don't like what I have to say I respectfully say to you don't read my blog.

I think I finally have most of that out of my head. I may actually be able to sleep now.. Have a good night..

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Was Gone How Long?

OK.. so it has been a while since I have posted anything.. mostly because I have had a really hard time recovering from the back surgery and all of the complications of daily life thrown in there as well..

I used to love to post as often as possible. I felt strange if I didn't get to write if not every day at least several times a week. Now it seems like I have either gotten out of the habit of writing, not just here but in general or I just don't have the where with all to do anything about getting on the computer and writing something. I don't know how you can get out of the habit of doing something you really love to do but that seems to be the case. It isn't a matter of laziness, or not having time to write, I guess it has been a combination of depression from not being able to do much of anything and thinking there really is nothing I have to say that anyone would find interesting anyway.

So here is the quick update, if I repeat anything that you have already read on Ron's blog I do apologize.

The surgery on my back was June 10th. Everything went really well better than even my doctor expected. I was up and about in about no time after waking up and the doctor made the decision to let me go home that day... I was happy about that, Ron was not so much happy. He thought I should at least stay overnight so that I could rest better, but for me the hospital is the worst place for me to rest. I would have been worrying about everything going on at home, whether or not the kids were doing what they were supposed to be doing and all the things that moms worry about. I came home and did nothing just like I was supposed to do.. see Ron I can take care of myself if monitored closely enough. My recovery has been great and not so great depending on your way of looking at things. My legs don't hurt at all anymore. That is a good thing. I do however tire out very easily still and my back is hurting more than it did before the surgery but that is to be expected when you take a part of it out and put nothing in there to replace it.

My 40th birthday came and went in Aug. It was great Ron got me several of my favorite things, as well as a great watch. We all went out to JD legend for dinner and karaoke. Some friends stopped in as well including one friend that shares my exact birth date. It was a really good time.

Chelsea is going to the adult education center several times a week to get her GED and take her ACT so she can start applying to schools for either the spring or fall of 09. She didn't want to be in HS another yr and a half and then have to start all of this when she will be 18 this Dec and wants to jump start her education. I do understand her way of thinking, I was never one to sit around and wait for something I knew I could start on now.

Kyle is doing well, right now he is recovering from his tonsillectomy yesterday and pretty much just laying around taking pain meds and eating yogurt, ice cream, Popsicles, pudding and things like that. Sounds like a rough diet doesn't it.. If I tried that my hips would be planning world domination in about 3 days. He should be over the worst of it by Thursday according to his Dr. and will be back at school next week wahooooooooo.. oh sorry did I say that out loud. At least his school work won't suffer they have assigned him a home bound teacher to bring his work to him while his is recuperation. Which will hopefully not only keep his grades up but solve some of his boredom being at home all day issues as well.

Cloe is still just as beautiful as ever and just as spoiled rotten as ever also.. She is talking a lot more now. One of her favorite things to say is thank you. It doesn't matter if you give her something or she gives you something you will get this big grin and a big "Tank yooo" It is adorable of course. She also says " uh oh" " ewwwwwww" and if she is leaving or you are she will throw up one tiny little hand and say " Bye". She is a mess..

Other than that there really haven't been many note worthy events. Ron and I celebrated our 5th anniversary well sort of.. we were together, always a good thing, we had 3 grand babies not a bad thing, but a busy thing at any rate. Cloe spent the night with us as did Chris (9) and Kody (7). We kept Cloe upstairs with us mostly while Kyle kept the boys entertained in his room and downstairs watching Ironman. All of that sounds fine except Kyle complaining about two very active younger kids driving him crazy and Cloe having a cold and fever and refusing for all she is worth to go to sleep. The next day was Sunday, we had hoped to go to church, instead we returned the children to their rightful owners and came home to crash. It was a good anniversary but one we don't plan to repeat.

We have the big celebration of Court Days coming up this weekend.. that should be fun our little town being over run with people from all over who don't know how to pick up after themselves at all.. they always leave an over abundance of trash in our streets and in our yards. I really don't understand that at all .. I want to tell them " look I don't come to your town and throw trash in your yard would you kindly return the favor?". I am still looking forward to it mostly, it is usually a good time.

Well it is time for me to go downstairs and wait for the home bound teacher to get here for Kyle and to think up something for dinner maybe. I will not promise to do better on keeping up with posting. I will promise to try.

Y'all have fun

Thursday, June 05, 2008


Oh my... this is scary two posts in the same week? No!!! no brain sucking alien has taken over my keyboard it really is me..

Just a quick update to the other day's post about my back issues. Ron and I went to my dr. yesterday, we looked at the new MRI. What had looked like a small protrusion on last months MRI now looks to be about the size of the tip of my pinkie and where there was no discernable herniation on the l4 l5 lumbar before there is a tiny one showing up now. So.. we discussed and scheduled surgery. I will be having what the dr. termed a diskectomy on Tues the 10th.. We discussed all the risks and benefits and it seems like the most logical step for me at this point. I can't tolerate this pain any longer and if that much damage has occurred in just a month I don't want to put this off too much longer. I am good at damaging myself , so the longer I wait the worse it will be.

The dr did put me on a pain patch thing that is a powerful narcotic. Finally someone that understands the pain I am in and is willing to give me something to relieve it... I am not a junkie.. I am not looking to get high.. I just want to be relatively pain free for a little while. Most of the drs. I have been to will not prescribe any type of pain killer that can be abused and while I do understand the fear of addiction and abuse of drugs I think our doctors need to be educated in pain relief and the necessity of short term drug therapy in some patients. Even long term therapy in some patients is not a worry for addiction but a humane and kind way to alleviate severe pain. I have done a lot of research on the subject and all of the studies I have been able to find indicate that drug therapy for those in severe chronic pain can help those people live more normal lives or at least in some cases relieve the pain for whatever duration of life those people have left and in a large percentage of these patients whether they have terminal conditions or not addiction does not become a problem..My personal opinion is that most of us with severe chronic pain just want to be somewhat normal and be able to do things with our families and not have the burden of pain always with us. This morning I woke up mostly pain free and feeling a lot like the old me.. something I haven't felt much of since Oct when this whole thing began. I am only using half of the patch and it is good for 3 days.. wow sounds like I want to get high don't it?

Ok off the patient rights soapbox.. other than planning for my surgery I think I will try to get some things done around here beforehand. I need to leave my house in good shape. I know I will only be gone for one day but I know my children they can do a lot to a house in 24 hours...

I am outta here for a while.. who knows I may turn up again soon.

Y'all have fun

Monday, June 02, 2008

Back to My Regularly Scheduled Life

I realize it has been a really long time since I have blogged. Sometimes I am too busy to blog. Sometimes there is too much going on around me too post anything. Sometimes I forget I have a blog at all.

There really isn't too much going on right now. The kids are both out of school and both passed to the next grade. Chelsea will be a jr next school year and Kyle will be in 7th grade. They both did really well Kyle passing with all A's and Chelsea passing with mostly A's. Chelsea finished the rest of the school year at home. She was having a lot of problems dealing with all that happened last year and couldn't go back to regular classes but being at home has helped her a lot and she really liked her homebound teacher.

Things are pretty much back to normal all the way around. Ron and I are still very much in love and love being together as often as we can. Not easy sometimes with Chelsea always wanting to go somewhere with the new boyfriend (Caleb) and leaving Kyle at home with us. He doesn't have a lot of friends his age so he likes to hang with Ron and I when Chella is not home. Actually he would prefer to hang with Ron and I anyway. Chelsea picks on him.

My hands are somewhat better. Well actually I don't know if they are better or if they just get lost in the pain from my back. I have recently found out I have two herniated disks that are compressing a bundle of nerves in my back causing pain in both legs and in the back. I was taking part in a research study to inject an enzyme into the protruding part of the disk to dissolve it and that would take care of all the pain problems. I went through all the testing and all the questionaires and things were looking good for the procedure. Then the MRI results came back and where I had only one disk that was protruding in April I now have two which disqualified me for the study. Now I have to go to my ortho on Wed. to discuss my surgical options. I am not afraid of the surgery exactly I am afraid sorta of either it not working at all or of it doing more damage. The only alternative I have to surgery now is to be on pain meds for the rest of my life while every day things do more damage to the back and eventually get it to a point where I won't be able to work or walk or anything else. When it is put that way surgery starts to look like a great option.

Cloe is getting bigger every day and I think the child learns a new word or a new thing every day. She is so smart, she listens to everything said to her, she picks up new words fast, so yes we have to all watch the language around her. There has been one incident involving the "S" word already so we have become very clean mouthed around here. It is hard to believe she will be a year old on the 26th of this month. It doesn't seem like it has been a year yet. She has grown so quickly. She isn't walking yet but she is trying to. As long as no one is looking at her that is. If she is standing alone and no one is watching she is fine but the minute someone looks at her she will sit down and put her arms out to be picked up. Can we say spoiled? I didn't do it.. (much)..

Well Ron just walked over to the graduation for his kids. Today was his last day with students this year and tonight he gets to watch 2 of his students he has had for 3 yrs graduate. That is pretty cool. I am just gonna sit here in his nice air conditioned classroom and read or something. It is like 80 degrees out there and someone had the brilliant idea to have graduation outside.. Ummm not for me.. OK back to my book..

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Whew.. It's over..

Wow.. finally.. 2007 is over, done, kaput.. I couldn't be happier.. I know that all we have gone through in 2007 is not the year's fault but still I am glad to see it go...

I know most people reflect about the year past and then make resolutions to do something bigger, better or different in the year to come.. I really don't want to reflect too much on last year.. there were great highlights..

I went back to church.. I was baptized and received the gift of the Holy Ghost.. that has brought me much needed peace and comfort throughout the year..

Cloe was born and continues to thrive and be a wonderfully bright spot in our lives.. she started crawling yesterday.. hmmm I wonder if I remember how to baby-proof a house after all these years..

Ron's book was published and is now available on the Author House website and many of the major booksellers websites.. I read it again.. as a book not as something we lived.. Ron really is a very talented writer.. I am picky about books.. and would not just say it was a good book to make him feel good.. it really is a good book.. Book Store Search Results there is a link to the author house website.. check it out if you like..

The kids are all basically healthy.. Chelsea and Kyle both recently had to have allergy testing.. they weren't too happy about the 92 needles in the back thing.. we did however find out that both of them are allergic to all molds, mildews and dust.. they thought that would get them out of housework.. not so much.. I have the same allergies.. I take my daily meds and just keep on cleaning.. they did come home with 4 new prescriptions each one being a preventative for their asthma.. that has to be a good thing.. although the last time Chella had an attack the school called 911 and chella thought the EMT's were really hot.. I told her there are better ways to look at hot guys..

Speaking of Chella she is doing well she is working on some personal issues and moving through her grief for her dad and everyone else we lost this past year.. she is being homeschooled through the homebound program at her highschool right now and it seems to be working for her.

Kyle is still Kyle.. he is annoying at times.. talks WAY too much.. and basically acts like a 12 yr old boy.. but he is also one of the sweetest kids on the planet.. he will just come up to me and say " Mom, can I have a hug" he does this several times a day what a great way to make mom's day ya know..

Sierra is not working right now. She is job hunting.. she assures me she has another job lined up already.. I assurred her that is a good thing because her bedroom here is not lined up for her anymore.. I don't mean to sound heartless but she needs to realize that raising a child means work, responsibility and not expecting mom and dad to bail you out everytime you lose a job, or a car or whatever.. I was doing it on my own at her age and she knows that she will never not have help but helping and doing it for her are two different things...

Chris is up for probation / parole this month.. the parole people came to the house on Friday.. we weren't home, Kyle called me and gave me the number they left.. I called them and spoke with a really nice guy there he told me they were checking us out to make sure Chris has a place to go and that we don't drink or have firearms, and to make sure we aren't crimminals ourselves.. I assured them we weren't .. Neither one of us drinks.. and neither one of us has any type of record.. I also made sure they know that Chris has gotten his GED and has a job in the jail as well as one waiting for him when he gets out.. the guy told me that to him it looks like Chris has a really great home plan.. I don't know if that means anything one way or the other as far as the decision goes for letting him out but I am taking it to be a positive thing..

I do want to thank all of our friends and our family for all of the prayers and support you have given us this past year and are greatly loved and appreciated.

Hmm I just noticed that my honey has signed off aol.. I am thinking that means he is upstairs mostly naked and in the bed.. I think I will be joining him.

Y'all have fun