Monday, November 28, 2005

Public Safety Announcement

Ok.. If you drive in or around Lexington KY be warned..Chris got his permit today.. He will be driving.. now I can mark that off my list of good deeds for the day..

Thanksgiving went well.. we didn't have all the kids over.. or the grandkids.. they were all busy doing other things.. but it was still good with the 3 that live here.. Tommy, Pete , Angie and Billy came down to share a meal and a word of thanks.. all was good..

Today has been a strange day.. other than fearing for my life from time to time with Chris behind the wheel it has been ok.. We did have a minor incident involving Tommy and the Dollar Tree.. but that mostly stemmed from the incident last night involving Chelsea, Tommy and the Dollar Tree.. it is a bit much to go into right now..but it did lead to an interesting if somewhat heated (on my part) discussion with Ron about where we come from... he and I are from totally different places in life.. I grew up poor and not only on the wrong side of the tracks but there were no right sides in our neighborhood.. I tried to explain to him that when you are from that place you tend to look out for things to happen whether you do anything wrong or not... He doesn't understand my distrust of cops.. he simply is from another place.. I am glad he had the upbringing he did.. that is part of why he is who he is.. same as me.. If I had not came up the way I did I wouldn't be the me that I am.. sometimes it seems that although we are from the same town we grew up on different planets..I don't envy his life.. I don't feel cheated by mine.. It is just a difference in culture and what expectations we have grown to have.. he expects to be treated the way he treats everyone.. with respect, honor, and a sense of right and wrong.. I expect someone to screw with me at any moment.. I don't trust anyone.. ( Ron excluded of course ) until I have a reason to.. he trusts everyone until he has a reason not to.. We are who we are.. and thank God our differences in this are not a breaking point but a linking point to understanding each other..

It is strange however, that someone like him and someone like me have so many things that are alike.. down to the same favorite candy bar.. I guess with so much in common in other ways.. the differences just allow us individuality and a great way to start conversations.. well Chelsea time..

Y'all have fun..

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Thanksgiving.. The shopping is done.. the turkey is quietly thawing in the fridge.. the pie stuff is just waiting for me to get in there and start mixing.. everything is ready all I have to do is cook.. oh yeah.. did I mention that I am cooking for about 23 this year?.. Sounds like a lot doesn't it.. It is.. but to me.. It is wonderful to know that I am cooking for my family.. they will all be here.. perhaps not all at the same time.. but sometime during the day I will get to spend some time with and feed the people I hold dearest to me.. who could ask for a better Thanksgiving than that..

Our family has a tradition of telling what we are thankful for this year.. from the youngest to the oldest.. we have had thankfullness for everything from rollerblades to gravy.. for me.. I am always thankful for the same things.. My kids.. My love.. My home.. the fact that I do have food to prepare.. the simple things like that.. Those things mean more to me than anything else I could think of.. I know that a lot of people are thankful for these things.. for me.. it is my life. When I was a kid.. I wanted to be a mom.. a wife.. and a doctor.. in that order.. I never got around to the med school thing.. but heck I'm only 37 who knows.. anyway.. I became a mom really young.. probably before I should have.. but it worked for me.. I became a wife before most people have gone to the prom.. this too worked for me..

I look back at my life and realize.. for all the hardships.. for all the times I thought I couldn't go on.. I have gained strength.. for all the times I wondered if anyone would love and cherish me the way I needed them to.. I look at Ron.. and I know that although I don't know why he does.. he gives me all I dreamed of having as a wife..

Some of my friends that know my life are amazed that I am as sane ( yeah right) and as happy as I am.. I have had people tell me .. " I don't think I would have survived the things you have" I don't think of myself as a survivor.. I am just an ordinary woman that just happened to have been blessed with an extraordinary life.. Yep.. I said blessed.. for all that has been wrong, bad, terrible, dramatic or otherwise damaging in my life.. I have had the most wonderful rewards.. I wouldn't trade a minute of the hardship, if I knew I would have to give up one minute of the love, hope, strength, friendship, and all the other rewards that I have been able to experience.. So.. this year.. instead of being thankful just for all I have.. I am thankful for all I didn't have.. those things helped to shape me just as much..

Y'all have a wonderful Thankgiving..I need to go organize the cooking space .. and the table .. and the living room.. and the.. well you understand..

Friday, November 18, 2005

Chris Is HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is the news... Chris. .He is home.. he has to be home or with me or at work at all times.. but he is home.. he can be here for Thanksgiving.. that brings me great joy.. I hated the thought of him not being home for Turkey Day.. that really sucked.. but he is home.. I am happy.. I know there is a long way to go with this thing but, I also know.. this part is over.. the guidelines he has to follow are minimal compared with spending more time in jail.. he is happy..

The only other thing is I have a terrible cold.. no way I'm gonna get to rest.. but what is new about that.. Having been a mom since I was 17.. I am used to not having any rest.. I don't really mind too much.. I have my kids... I know they are all safe and happy.. I have my Poet.. I try to take care of him.. and he most definately takes care of me.. all is good..

Time to get back on the road..

Y'all have fun

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Tears and Fears

Today has been a tearful day for me.. I have been crying or at least leaking about the eyes whole day.. some of it is hormonal I know.. Mother nature came to call this morning.. most of it is about Chris.. this I know..

I got an email from his girlfriend today.. she made me cry.. Beek.. is a great girl.. she loves my son.. I have never doubted that.. she has stood by him for more than 3 yrs , through all he has done and all he has put her through.. Including breaking her heart and marrying someone else.. She doesn't take any bullshit from him.. but she never stopped loving him.. that is a good thing.. her family has been there for Chris as well .. I know a lot of parents if their daughter was involved with a kid in a situation like Chris' would try to talk the kid into breaking up.. but her parents have been here for her and for Chris.. they have gone above and beyond in supporting not only them .. but me as well Thank You..

Beek is a smart kid, she is sweet and just generally a good person.. I have seen since they have been back together that Chris is more the person I knew he could be.. I think they are good for each other..

Other than all of this.. nothing new to talk about.. I have about a million errands to run today.. everyday life stuff.. hopefully doing day to day things will help me to cope with everything else.. or at least take my mind off of it..

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Case Continues

Today we had the preliminary hearing for Chris.. we both got to meet his attorney for the first time.. (C0mforting ain't it to meet him on the day of the hearing).. aside from just meeting him today.. he turned out to be a pretty smart fella.. he told us what to expect.. he explained everything well.. Court proceeded.. Chris' bond was reduced from 7500 to 2500.. donations are still being accepted...We did have a witness that was able to recount what had happened and that Chris was not the aggressor but truly defending himself.. ( I am proud of you T. you did a great job)..Chris' attorney says that the judge was leaning towards our side by reducing the bond as much as she did and that the prosecution is no longer so sure of their side because of some remarks made in the courtroom by the lead prosecutor..I'll just take his word for it.. I don't really know enough about the judicial system to be an accurate judge of who is leaning what way in a trial..

Then there has been the Chelsea and her mystery pain in the side.. She has been suffering from some pain in her side for the last week.. we have made several trips to the doctor's office.. we have had no real diagnosis.. Until yesterday.. We made an appt for yet another trip to the dr.. this time her regular dr was there.. he suggested an X-ray of her chest and abdomen.. when he got the X-rays he called me into the other room to look at them with him.. and he says in his most serious Doctor tone.. Maam, your daughter's problem is she is full of shit.. he is a great doctor with a wonderful sense of humor.. and that is what the X-ray showed.. it seems Chelsea could benefit from more fiber in her diet.. so it is off to the grocery for some pruns and bran flakes.. Yummy.....but at least we know she is ok.. and that the pain can be fixed.. it is about time something around here is fairly easily remedied....

Through all of this.. Ron has been wonderful.. he always has the chest ready for me to lay my head.. he has a hug and a shoulder for my tears.. and he has a great cure for my inability to sleep.. He has kept me sane ( mostly) through this.. This entire thing is tearing me apart.. emotionally, mentally and physically.. Ron helps me deal day to day.. he helps me keep in perspective that this is nothing I could have prevented.. this is not the result of my parenting.. this is the result of choices made by Chris and John.. no one else.. I do have a tendancy to blame myself for anything that brings harm to my children.. even the things they do to themselves.. I guess that is just part of being a mom..

Well it is about time to go get miss full of it from school.. Y'all have fun..

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Today was Chris' arraignment, we sat through the process of all the people ahead of Chris being arraigned at the same time. There were several people with much more serious charges than Chris' some where given a reduced bond.. one in particular was up on about 15 charges including having sex with a minor.. his bond was 2500 and was reduced to 10%.. when Chris came up.. The judge refused to reduce his bond and was rather snotty about the charge being so serious.. so I guess in KY it is ok to sleep with children but get in a fight and defend yourself and you are outta luck.. Hmm can ya tell I'm pissed right now?..

His next court date is Tues of next week perhaps at that time he will be able to get a reduction.. I did call his job this morning and let them know what is going on.. they are great.. they want him back.. they think it is a shame that a kid like Chris is involved in something like this.. He is a great worker.. they miss him on the crew.. I did manage to get the letter from his boss to the judge and that will go into his file so when he does get an attorney the attorney will be able to bring up the fact that Chris is not a flight risk, he has a job, he is a resident of our city and state, he has significant ties to the community and the fact that Chris has no criminal record should be enough to get a bond reduction.. we have the 10% there is just no way we can come up with 7500 dollars..

Other things going on today.. Kyle had a Dr. appt this morning to discuss his weight and some other concerns.. he was put on a 2500 calorie diet and tested for Thyroid function.. Hopefully the tests will come back normal and we will find out the boy just likes to eat..

While we were waiting for Kyle to get called back to see the Dr. I was going through my purse..I have this makeup bag in there filled with letters and poems and all sorts of things like that.. Mementos of the past and I realized something.. I am not a materialistic person by any stretch of the imagination.. I do have things that mean a lot to me.. things that would break my heart to lose..the things in that little makeup bag are more precious to me than any material possessions could ever be.. there are letters from Ron, old e mails, poems he has written, the original version of the poem I wrote for my grandson, a letter from Sierra telling me when she was considering having sex for the first time, a letter from Chelsea telling me she is sorry for screwing up, a certificate Chelsea made for me in english class.. those things cannot be replaced.. they hold a place in my heart that nothing else could ever fill. If I lost these things it would hurt. but the love they came from would still exist, it would still be in my heart and the hearts of those people I hold dearest in the world.. I may not be wealthy in the conventional sense.. but upon reading these outpourings of love and inspiration from my husband and children I realized.. there is no on richer than I am.. I have the love of a wonderful man.. and the admiration, respect and love of my children.. what more could I ask for..

Y'all have fun..

Monday, November 07, 2005

King's Island and Other Adventures

Yesterday.. It was proven to me that I am in fact not as young as I used to be..Kings Island is great.. but it seriously kicked my butt.. I have pain in places I didn't even know I had.. My back, my neck.. and some strange little place in my upper thigh that I didn't know could hurt..but other than that we had a wonderful time.. we rode roller coasters, walked all over the place.. took in the sights and sounds of the carnival atmosphere and just generally enjoyed being a family.. It was a great break from the drama around here..

Speaking of the drama around here.. Chris was arrested today... the detective in the case has been very kind to us.. he let Chris stay home for the weekend.. he waited until today to come pick him up.. Thank you Det. Wilson.. he didn't have to do the things he did.. he didn't have to be nice.. trust me here in Lexington , nice is not a priority for cops.. just my opinion..

Chris is going to court in the morning, perhaps if we are fortunate he will get 10% of the bond amount and we will be able to get him out of jail..and he will be home to await further court dates.. if not he will have to stay in jail for at least a week until he can get a bond reduction hearing..

The situation sux.. Chris should have walked away.. he should have just come on home.. but a 19 yr old kid ain't gonna react that way.. His reaction was to ask this asshole why he is always trying to start something with everyone.. why he runs his mouth and threatens people.. this guy has threatened me, Chelsea , Justin.. hell I am surprised he hasn't threatened Kyle.. they guy is a steroid user with a bad temper... he thinks he is billy bad ass as long as it is someone he perceives as being weaker than him..

Well it is about Kyle 30.. time to get outta here.. wish me luck with my drama.. and prayers are always appreciated..

Y'all have fun

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Young and The Restless

I feel like my life is one long soap opera lately.. I would like to go through one week.. one day.. hell hour without some sort of drama.. It seems like every time I turn around there is something going on around here with one of the kids.. Ron and I don't have or cause a lot of drama on our own.. we are quiet ( well he is) for the most part..

I am getting to the point where answering my phone is a gamble.. answering the the door is never a good plan.. does there ever come a point in your life when your kids stop making you crazy?

If you read Ron's blog you know what is going on.. if not.. then you will have to look for his to find out.. I just don't have the heart to type it..

Last night was the first night since Sunday that I have gotten more than 2 hrs sleep.. I am paying for it today.. I feel like I have a mild hangover.. but I am in a better mood than I have been in all week.. that is a good thing.. people can speak to me now and still keep their heads..

Oh wait.. more drama.. this time not with the kids.. Ron just called me to tell me that his school is on lockdown right now and has been for the last hr and a half.. it is not life threatening.. ok.. good.. but is that supposed to stop me from worrying .. I think not.. will let ya know what happens.. well one of us will anyway..

Y'all have fun