Friday, December 26, 2008

I am Home and Not in Pain

I am home and resting in my bed. For the first time in almost a month I am able to lay in my bed without pain. I can roll over. I can lay on my back, or side, the only drawback is I am not allowed to sleep on my stomach and you guessed it I am a belly sleeper normally. I think I will be able to deal with this minor problem however, after all I have been sleeping (sorta) sitting up in a chair for over 3 weeks.

The surgery went well, my doctor removed 3 large pieces of the disk and scraped things out well. Hoping that the scraping will encourage the bones to fuse together on their own, negating the necessity for future fusion surgery. I hope it works out that way but right now I am just thankful for what I have, or rather don't have. ( pain)

I want to thank all my kids and my family and friends for the visits, phone calls and e mails.. the encouragement and prayers are so welcome and appreciated.

Not to make light of my love for any of my kids or to say I love one more than the others or anything like that I do need to tell one of them a special I love you. Audrey, you are not my child by birth, I couldn't love you more if you were. I am so fortunate and so honored to be able to call you my daughter. Thank you for every thing. Love you kiddo.

Well I am gonna get off here now and enjoy my pain free rest.. Thank you all

Y'all have fun

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Improving Slightly

I just realized this morning that I hadn't posted anything in over a week. I also realized I haven't driven a car in almost 3 weeks so not posting suddenly didn't seem so bad. I am feeling somewhat better, the debilitating, excruciating, drop dead now pain has for the most part passed, what I have now is more of a constant pain/irritation sorta feels like a pulled muscle. I can really live with this a lot better. I am used to chronic back pain so over the years I have learned some coping mechanisms for that, if I keep my brain busy I can pretty much block it.

I have gotten out a bit more this week, that has done a lot for my mental and emotional health if not my physical. I am not a stay cooped up in the house type person, I love being outdoors, now don't get me wrong I am not the roughing it in the woods, eating berries type either, I just like the fresh air and sunshine. We haven't had much sunshine lately but here in KY we have plenty of fresh air. I even got most of the Christmas shopping done with only one pair of socks being purchased and those didn't make it to Christmas Chella got them the same day I bought them. I even got brave and went thrift store shopping. That is one of my favorite activities, I hate department stores for the most part, but thrift stores are like a bargain hunters mecca and I am queen of the bargain, my kids say I can smell a bargain happening in another part of the state. I didn't buy much but it felt good to be able to walk, yep walk around the store. I walked slowly but it was still upright transport.

I am looking forward to this weeks family Christmas party, I am making a ham, mashed potatoes, and 2 pumpkin pies. Chella is making a cake. Kyle is doing cookies and I am sure Sierra will cook something. If it is anything like cooking was on Thanksgiving it should be a blast and I bet I won't even notice my back/leg pain.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and positive thoughts they have not gone unanswered. While I am not healed I have had a great deal of pain reduction and just knowing there are people out there who don't even really know me that care enough to pray and wish me well does wonders for my heart. A special thank you to a special lady who sent me the most wonderful lumbar support and sleep mask filled with yummy smelling herbs to make me feel better. They have helped, you are such a sweet person. In the midst of your own problems you took time out to think of us. I know there are so many blessings ahead for you.

It will be a busy week around here. We have the party on Tuesday, Christmas, and Sierra's birthday on Friday which happens to be the same day I am having surgery. Sierra told me yesterday, " Mom, I will have other birthdays and all I really want for my 20th is for you to come through surgery healthy and not in pain." Thank you kiddo, I love you.

Well my pain meds just kicked in so I had better stop typing while I am still somewhat coherent.

I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas, may you be blessed with all the love and joy of the season.

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Still Standing...Ok Sitting

I am still around. I haven't disappeared or anything I just really have been in too much pain to type or walk or well heck do much of anything.

Ron has been wonderful, from cooking dinners to waiting on me hand and foot and getting the youngin up for school even to staying up with me til 5:30am because he knew I was uncomfortable so he couldn't go lay down in the bed and get comfortable himself, He is the sweetest man I know.

The kids have been helping out as well..Kyle has been the real trouper though, he makes my coffee and brings me a cup in the mornings, he volunteers to do most anything he can to help me out.. what a great kid.

Chelsea has helped by doing chores for me and bringing me stuff, even Sierra who has the Cloe to chase has been great about doing things for me that I can't do for myself, Heck Cloe takes empty diet dew bottles and other things to throw them away for grandma.

I am so thankful to my family, they have been helping without making me feel useless, being useless is a big fear of mine, I have always been very independent and strong willed. I never liked asking anyone for help, if I couldn't do it by myself then I just didn't do whatever it was or dang near killed myself trying. That is just who I am, stubborn, hardheaded, strong willed, obstinate, and very very determined. This past week I have learned that accepting help from those who love you when you need it, is a great way to make them feel needed and loved. That is how they make me feel, that when they are doing something for me it isn't a burden but a labor of love.

Our pastor came to the house on Sunday eve with his wife and another friend from church, I had called him earlier in the day to ask him to come here to pray for me, They and we all prayed, and for the first time that day I was able to stand up straight and sit leaning towards my left instead of my right. I know that God can and does heal us. I haven't had the intensity of that pain from that time on. I still have pain, but I honestly think God has left me some of the pain to remind me that it is OK to ask for help, and so that I won't go back to thinking I am superwoman and then not get this problem fixed. He can heal it completely but he also knows I am stubborn and if he takes all the pain I will be right back trying to do all the things my body can no longer do. So thank you Brother and Sister R, and Robin. I love all of you.

I also want to thank all of you that have been sending prayer and positive energy my way. It means more than I can say, and I certainly can't express it as well as my sweet hubby did on his blog.

The plan for fixing this mess right now is starting with an MRI tomorrow, stronger pain meds, and a follow up with my orthopaedic surgeon next Wednesday when he will most likely suggest surgery to remove the disc that is causing all the trouble.... gotta hate those trouble making discs, geesh. I don't care if he suggests the surgery for 3am, I am so there. The last time this happened the surgery took care of all the pain in my right leg I haven't even had a twinge since, so I have every reason to believe that this time will do the same for my left leg. So if y'all don't mind too much I would so appreciate your continued prayers and good thoughts.

Well my handsome honey has gone into MY ( he is only renting it) kitchen to cook some supper so I think I will try to go in there to sit in a chair and do what I can to help.. that is if he lets me.

Y'all have fun

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Dr. Idiot Paging Dr. Idiot

Ron was right I am gonna fill y'all in on Dr. Idiot. First let me say I have a great deal of respect for dr's I in fact was accepted to a pre med program when I was 16 but, got married instead. So I do love medicine and respect those that practice it. Every now and then you run into the 10th yr resident who was at best a d student that doesn't realize that sometimes.. just sometimes the patient may have a clue.

I don't usually seek medical care unless I know I can't handle something myself. Yesterday I could not walk when I got up due to the excruciating pain in my back and left leg. The day wore on and I realized that I couldn't take the pain any longer. It was too late to call my Ortho. and I don't think I would have made it to Lexington 35 miles away in a vehicle anyway. I have a hard time riding or driving the vibrations in the road generally make it a way less than pleasant experience. Back to yesterday. It was about 5pm when I got Sierra to take me to our wonderful little band aid station. oops I mean hospital. There was no one in the waiting room when we got there. The triage nurse took me straight away, then I went to registration for the inevitable paperwork, once that was done I was told it would be just a few minutes to go to the lobby and wait, so that is what I did.. I waited for an hour and 35 mins. Finally they call my name.. the nurse does all the prelims, you know the usual, urine, take off all of your nice warm clothes and put on this paper thin gown open in the back so you can get a really good draft and lay down on the table ( which I can't do) the doctor will be with you shortly. What exactly is the measurement of time for shortly anyway? It wasn't really that long before a very nice lady Dr came in to see me.. I gave her a very extensive background on my back conditions. She said OK, lets get you a steroid, muscle relaxer, and something for pain in an IV and see if that helps. So that is what they did.. Sometime while they had me stoned on morphine and robaxin they had a shift change, this is never a good thing when you are in the hosp. In walks Dr. Idiot. He asked me how I felt, I told him somewhat better pain level at that point was about a 5 it is usually a 7 or 8. He asked me what had happened to put me in such pain, I gave him the exact history that I had given the other dr. He looks at me and says well you know it probably isn't the L4 at all. I asked him what made him think that , He tells me that a lot of times people don't know what is wrong with them and not everyone is truthful about what they have done. I told him. Dude I know my own medical history quite well I know what is wrong with my own body and my orthopaedic surgeon told me this was a good possibility when he removed the L5, what they normally give me is a prednizone dose pack for a week, a cortisone shot, and a script for muscle relaxers because I don't like to take pain killers unless I have to. He then tells me that he is going to write a script for lortab and send me home.. I asked him.. Did you hear anything I just said? I was speaking English right? He again tells me that sometimes people just want painkillers. I told him I didn't want pain killers I just want the prednizone, and muscle relaxer to get me through until I can get into my Ortho's office.. He went on to say again that the L4 is probably not the cause and most likely not herniated. Now mind you he had done no x rays or even a physical exam of my back you can actually feel my scoliosis and where the disc is protruding through I have a skinny back and it is easy to feel. I told him.. Yeah and you are the same Dr that told me that my 11 month old granddaughter was manipulating us by holding her breath and passing out even though there is no medical support EVER to show that a baby that young is capable of such complex planning and execution of said plan. I finally just told him. " SEND ME HOME".. he did.. with a prescription for.. you guessed it.. lortab. So I am sitting here today in not as much pain thanks to the lady doc giving me the steroid and wondering how this guy even got into med school in the first place.. oh well.. I will call my ortho and find out what we can do about getting me in and go from there.. at least I know he is a good dr.

Ron is still sniffling and sneezing through the day but his fever is down which puts my mind at ease a bit.. he told you all about his heart and such so I won't go into it again except to tell you how stubborn he is and how he needs to let me take better care of him.

Well I think I am gonna try to navigate the stairs there is food down there..

Y'all have fun