I Haven't Disappeared.. Honest..

I know some of y'all might have thought I really had disappeared this time.. heck..some of ya might have even hoped it.. no such luck.. I am still around.. I just haven't had much blog time lately.. There has been toe business, house business, kid business and most of all Ron business.. When my sweet honey is at home.. I don't get online much... partially because I usually just don't care to.. and partially because my wonderful hubby is a COMPUTER HOG.. oh.. sorry did I shout?.. anyway.. I digress..

The toe news really isn't news.. I am still in this boot thingy at least until Friday.. hopefully it will come off then.. this thing is making me truely crazy.. It is heavy, hot and annoying to keep on all the time.. and the small cast I have for night time simply isn't comfortable..Ron fixed it for me so that I can at least wear it.. when the lady made the dang thing she had it going all the way up to the bend in the back of my knee.. I couldn't even bend my leg and the thing was scratchy.. Ron cut about 4 inches off of it and smoothed the edges for me.. ain't he a sweety..

The house thing is moving right along and with any luck I will be unpacking boxes in our new house by the end of the month.. closing is set for July 28th.. the home and termite inspection is complete.. we are waiting for a response from the owner on the things that the inspector says need to be done in the house..things like termite treatment..(non negotiable).. the faucet in the bathtub for the hot water ... again .. (non negotiable) .. the insulation that isn't up to what it is supposed to be.. and a few other minor things that while are not deal breakers are negotiation points.. I can't wait to get in there and out of Lexington..

Kid business has just been the usually running around doing this that and the other thing.. Chris work .. Chella spending the night 2 counties over and having to go get her.. then her and J having issues.. those sorts of kid business things..

The Ron business has just been that he has been home for the last 2 weeks.. I have gotten to spend most all of the day with him.. Yep.. I am spoiled now.. and he is back at work this week.. how much does that suck.. I will have to get used to him being back at work again.. but it is only for a week this time then I have him at home for another 2 weeks before he goes back for the school year.. that will be another 2 weeks of spoiling.. and oh yeah.. COMPUTER HOGGING.. by him.. oops there I go again.. yelling.. well my honey just walked in the door so I think I will get off here and spend sometime with him.. and turn over the puter of course..

Y'all have fun..

What Happened to This Week???

It has been one of those weeks that you can't decide if you have really done anything or not.. I know I must have accomplished something this week.. but I'll be danged if I can remember what it was.. Ron has been home all week.. that tends to make me a bit lazy.. yeah let's see.. clean house or cuddle for as long as possible in the bed with my sexy hubby.. tough choice eh?.. there has been the usual amount of running Chris back and forth to and from work.. and the normal Chella drama..nothing major.. just the whole "I'm bored " thing that all teenagers do.. I did go to the Dr. last friday for my toe.. he tells me I am going to be in this boot cast thing for "AT LEAST" 3 more weeks.. then the fun will begin.. I have a bone spur on this toe and severe arthritis in the joint.. he compared my toe to that of an 80 yr old woman.. how's that for an ego boost.. anyway.. I have to have this bone spur removed.. it has been there for a long time and yeah from time to time has given me some trouble.. but with this break and the arthritis it is only getting worse so it is time to shave the dang thing off with a bone shaver.. doesn't that sound pleasant? All this really means is that I will be in a cast for most of the summer.. including during the time we are moving into our house.. should be lots of fun..

Oh yeah.. great news on the house.. we accepted the counter offer on the house.. the paperwork is in the process.. hopefully we will be moved in and able to relax a bit before Ron and the kids go back to school.. we, well I am planning a huge housewarming party.. as soon as possible after we move in and get organized.. should be a blast.. I actually have the menu planned..ok so I like to plan ahead..

Chris has a court date today at one.. the good news is this should be one of those in and out type things.. the bad news is it never works out that way.. also Ron will have to drive today.. I can't drive his truck with my boot cast on and my poor lil Camaro is ill.. starter went out on it yesterday at Taco Bell.. I stopped for Sierra to pick up dinner from Jordan .. turned the car off.. and when I got back in it.. Nuttin.. just nuttin.. I called Ron .. he called his brother in law.. the mechanic.. he came to meet me in the parking lot of Taco Bell.. and tells me.. Yep.. it's the starter.. being a stick shift we push started it so I could get home.. The brother in law will be here Sunday to get my baby back on the road for me.. but until then if I want to go anywhere I have to get Ron to take me.. not that I have a problem going anywhere with Ron.. I am just way independent and it makes me a bit nuts to not be able to drive myself.. oh well it is only til Sunday..

Well I guess I better go look for "Court Clothes" y'all have fun..

Words

Something kept repeating in my head last night as I tried to go to sleep.. so I thought I would share .. nothing like keeping your friends awake too.. anyway..

What was on my mind was the power of our words.. words can have such an impact on people .. they can bring a smile to someone needing one.. they can brighten the day of a total stranger.. they can convey the love one feels for another whether that love be platonic, parental, or to the one you share your life with.. they can be a positive influence on the world at large.. I personally choose to think that is why we were given the gift of verbalization and the ability to translate that into the written word..

Words can also be used to hurt, demean, attempt to embarass, and for all sorts of negative influences on our world.. while most of us can dismiss the people that say words or write them for evil intent this is not the worst way words can be used as a weapon.. the worst way to me is for someone to take the innocent or non hurtful words of another and twist them to suit some personal agenda.. it demeans not only the person they are trying to hurt but themselves, this perversion of words more often than not causes not the furtherment of their agenda but the distruction of their own hearts eventually.. It is often hard to dissociate the person twisting the words from their actions and they become the object of anger, pity and ridicule themselves..

I have heard the expression of something being a double edged sword many times in my life.. I find this to be especially true in the case of words.. be careful how you use them.. try to use them for good... If you don't or if you twist the words of another the only person you will be cutting with your sword is yourself..

Just my take on words .. now that is out of my head.. I think I'll take a nap.. Y'all have fun

Water Wars on The Way

Ok... It is 4 days and counting.. that is until the annual picnic of a non profit group that Ron and I are a part of.. This thing is an EVENT.. there are water guns.. food.. fun.. and did I mention water guns.. It has now become a team on team thing.. I can't wait... Last year "K" had this water bazooka.. I mean this thing shot about a gallon of water at a time.. and he could reload at a moments notice.. this year.. "K" is mine.. I am bringing water guns.. but if all else fails.. there will be a garden hose in the back of the truck.. It is a lot of fun..I am trying to convince them that I have a handicap this year.. but they aren't going for the broken toe excuse.. It really is broken guys.. I am not wearing this cast to make a statement...Hopefully by Saturday I won't be wearing this thing at all .. I go back to the Dr. on Friday.. He said if it was healing he would take me out of it.. I am thinking I might just hold on to it to take to the picnic..

In other news.. My baby is in FL and I am going through Kyle withdrawls.. there are times when that boy is home that you can't help but wish for duct tape.. but he is the sweetest little thing for the most part.. he will do anything you ask of him.. he loves everyone.. he loves to give hugs and if you are someone he happens to love.. you will receive many hugs a day.. who wouldn't miss that.. I don't know how I am gonna make it through the next 4 and a half weeks without my lil guy.. I will say that it is somewhat easier with Chelsea still home.. she is a great kid.. she has her moments when I question why teenagers exist at all but for the most part.. she is a blast to hang out with and is one of my best friends.. I don't think it is a problem being friends with your kids as long as they still understand you are a friend that can and will ground them .. Sierra lives close by so I get to spend time with her when she isn't working and of course I get to see Chris every day.. I am lucky to have my kids so close.. I enjoy their company.. In fact on of my favorite days of the year is Thanksgiving.. we have a long tradition of having everyone from youngest to oldest tell what they are thankful for.. I look forward to all the work of cooking for all those people every year just because it gets them all under our roof at the same time.. But none of this is helping me not miss my Kyle.. dangit

My mom in law and helper have gotten the apartment upstairs just about ready to rent out again.. I wonder what kinda neighbors we are gonna get this time.. that is one benefit of the landlord being your parent's in law.. you get a say so in picking the tenants.. you would think this would be a good thing.. and it usually is .. until the last ones we had.. hopefully we will be able to get our house soon and that will no longer be a concern..

Well.. I have procrastinated long enough.. I have housework to do.. I have found out one thing that Kyle not being here has changed.. the amount of housework I have to do.. I think the child has been following along behind me messing things up.. My house has stayed pretty much clutter free since he has been gone.. hmmm I guess he took "not me" with him..

Y'all have fun

Just Say No.. To Drama

I swear sometimes the drama level around here could give soap opera writers material for the next century.. This weekend my ex came up here from FL to pick up the kids and take them home with him for 5 weeks.. that sounds simple enough doesn't it.. a dad picking up his kids.. taking them to the 3rd or 4th (i can't remember) wedding of his 35 yr old sister.. then taking them out to dinner and bowling and back to his brothers house for the night before heading back to FL today.. ok.. yeah... nothing is ever simple where that man is concerned.. ( well there is his mind) ..

The ex picked up the kids yesterday afternoon..Ron and I spent a fairly eventful / uneventful day dealing first with Sierra and Jordan doing their usual sniping and arguing with each other.. then they left and Ron and I were blessedly alone for much of the late afternoon and early evening.. We went out around 8 to do some serious Karaoking.. we had a great time at Todd's Karaoke ( one of our favorite haunts) we each sang 4 or 5 songs (can't remember that either) we left there about 11:30 or so... we got home, Ron was on the computer doing whatever and I was wondering around the house making coffee and such when my phone rang.. It was a hysterical Chelsea, crying and asking me to come get her at her uncle's house.. I asked what was wrong.. she just pleaded for me to come get her.. Ron and I got in the truck and picked her up.. his house is only 5 minutes from ours..Chelsea got in and through tears and trying to calm down she told us what happened.. apparently the ex's wife was late getting back from her daughter's house and when she did come in he started accusing her of screwing around on him and being with other men and so forth.. Chelsea saw that her father was in a state of anger and was approaching his wife that way, she thought that he was going to hit her so she stepped in the middle of it.. then her dad started telling Chelsea that she was taking "L's" side of things, he asked Chella if she wanted to go home.. when she replied that she did .. he got pissed at her and wanted to know why all his kids left him.. she told him that he is the one that chose to move to FL and demanded to know why.. he told her that he would tell her when she was older.. she pressed him on it and he finally told her that he moved because she lived with Ron and I.. this isn't exactly true but, the truth isn't something he is really all that familiar with when it doesnt' suit him.. finally she asked to use his wife's phone and called us to come get her..

When Ronnie and I were married.. it was common for him to accuse me of cheating on him.. if I was 5 minutes late getting home from anywhere, If I took a shower when he wasn't home.. if I wore makeup when he wasn't around me.. If I wore certain clothes and so on and so on.. he was also physically abusive.. but mostly it was the never ending mental and emotional abuse that finally caused me to walk out on him.. I had to get me and my kids out of that situation before he either killed me and my kids would have been left with him.. or he turned my boys into him and my girls into woman that thought all women were whores and should be treated the way their father treated me..

Today when Ronnie came to bring Kyle so he could get his clothes and such.. he asked if Chella was still going with him to FL.. I told her ( at her request) that she had decided she didn't want to go and have to listen to that anymore.. that she had heard enough of that sort of thing growing up.. that got him going on one of his usual bullshit trips .. he first tried the.."it was just an argument thing" not knowing Chella had told me all of it.. I responded with " no it wasn't it was you treating "L" the way you treated me" he said .." I guess you and Ron don't argue" to which I said " In fact we don't" that took the wind out of those sails.. then he tried the poor pitiful me routine.. saying that his kids don't want to be with him.. I told him to take me to court to change it.. he is the one that sat in the judge's chambers and told the judge to " let her have the kids" .. when that didn't work he went to accusations.. nothing I hadn't heard before.. that I was unfaithful to him ( I wasn't).. that I didn't treat him right.. yeah yeah yeah.. when nothing worked for him he decided to call me a whore.. that got him booted off my porch.. Meanwhile Ron had Kyle in the house explaining to him what the problem was and giving him the same option to go or not go.. he chose to go.. that is fine.. Ronnie won't act as much a fool with him there.. he still sees Kyle as a baby and won't go psycho when he is around.. don't ask .. it is a strange thing with him.. but he is just like that.. anyway.. after they left.. we had a pretty much lazy day.. I did my nails and thought a lot..

Last night took me instantly back to a place I fought so hard to get away from.. I have at times felt so guilty about walking out on 18 yrs and breaking up my childrens family.. but, I know every day that I am loved by Ron.. that I did the right thing.. I know I should have done it sooner.. but I look at the reason I didn't do it sooner as that I was supposed to meet Ron and that may not have happened unless I did it when I did it.. ok.. so I look at things a bit differently.. so what.. I am a bit different to begin with.. I will worry about Kyle the entire time he is down there.. I will miss his sweet little face and his voice.. and in 5 weeks I will break the land speed record to go get my baby.. We did tell Kyle that if his dad starts the same old crap and it scares him or he just doesn't want to hear it.. all he has to do is call.. and we will be there as soon as possible to get him.. I think knowing that made it ok for him to make his decision..

My kids have for the most part a good relationship with their dad.. the older ones remember the things he said and did to me... that was between he and I.. he was a good dad to them.. I want them to have a good relationship with him.. and unless I think there is a threat to them I will continue to allow them to make the decisions regarding the time they spend with him.. I won't tell them what to do with their relationship with him... I can't.. I don't want to run the risk of influencing them with my feelings about him.. I won't poison them against their father.. he can do that all by himself..

Well now that I have all that off my chest I think I will go lay my head on Ron's chest and watch the 4400.. y'all have fun..

My Side..

I don't want to drag out the drama around here any more.. I am not posting this to piss anyone off or to continue what has turned out to be a dramatic mess and a hell of a lot of hurt and heartache.. but, this blog..this writing is my way of getting things out of my system.. my way of putting down on cyber paper the things that are going through my head.. It allows me to put things in perspective.. so that being said.. here goes

When all of the drama started about buying our house.. ( check out TroubledRamblings.blogspot.com for details) I was dumbfounded.. I couldn't believe that a woman who owns her own business, lives in a beautiful home, and has everything going for her would deny her ex husband, the father of her children , a man she lived with for 20 years..the access to 2 pieces of paper that would allow him to buy a home of his own.. I couldn't imagine that it would be such a personal issue for her to allow Ron and I to go after our american dream.. It is difficult for me to understand people that allow the past to rule their lives and hang on to all the hurt, and forget the wonderful.. Then the kids started to get involved.. It amazed me how much of Ron and his ex's life together was known (if not accurate) by his children..There was no other way for them to have some of the information they thought they had without being told these things.. and I knew Ron was not the one that had told them..

My children know some details of the personal relationship their dad and I had because they saw it.. My ex was verbally, mentally and physically abusive to me.. they saw that.. even still I would never ever try to poison my children against their father. There are things that happened in my first marriage that I would never tell my children.. first they don't need to know.. second the telling of these things could alter the way they feel about their dad.. and I don't want that.. My ex does enough on his own to alienate himself from his kids.. he doesn't need me helping him.. I think what my point is here is that while R was not a wonderful husband.. for the most part he was a wonderful dad.. what happened between he and I should stay between he and I.. All the children need to know is how he relates to them.. what kind of father he is to them.. not what kind of husband he was to me..

One of the first things Ron and I talked about when we realized that our relationship was going to be a long term serious relationship was the fact that he and I both came as a package deal.. we both had lives, loves, a past.. and we both had children that were the center of who we are.. and we discussed the fact that in order to blend these two families and 7 children that we would have to understand.. by loving the parent we would have to accept and grow to love the children..we both did that.. Ron adores my kids.. he is a wonderful father and friend to them.. and I couldn't love his girls more if I had given birth to them myself.. this situation with his ex and now with his daughters is tearing me apart.. I hate to hear and read the venom in the e mails 2 of them have sent.. and the phone calls they have made.. I hated sitting at a restaurant Friday night with 2 of his daughters and one of them totally ignoring her father.. I hate the fact that his ex is such an unhappy, bitter person that she would even poison her daughters against their father to try and prevent his being happy.. I guess I am just not made that way..

I would love for his daughters to sit down with him and allow him the luxury of telling his side of the story.. since they are already involved in this whole thing. I think it would be the right thing to do.. to allow Ron to speak.. instead of hurling hateful accusations at him which he has to defend.. It would be so much easier to sit down and discuss matters and then having both sides of the story make a decision as to what really happened in that relationship..

I know a lot about Ron's past.. he was, from the beginning of our relationship open and honest with me about things that had happened in his past.. He has tried to convince me that at one time he was not the wonderful, loving , sensitive man that I fell in love with.. He insists that he wasn't the person he is now.. that may be true.. (hard to believe)..but to me, all that matters is the person I have known and loved for the last 4 years.. a man that is a wonderful, devoted husband, a great friend, a good son... and a loving, supportive father.. I can't believe he became this person overnight.. that he was magically transformed into the man he is today.. I believe that yes, he did have issues years ago and was man enough to realize it and work on himself to become who he is.. and that he has always been the man I fell in love with inside..

I see the hurt in Ron's eyes when he has talked to his daughters on the phone and they are spewing venom at him.. I see the hurt when he opens an email from one of them and they are calling him names and still hurling accusations and intentionally trying to hurt him.. guess what ladies.. it worked.. you have broken your father's heart.. I love Ron's girls with all my heart.. but I cannot stand the pain I feel everytime I see him like this.. If I could take his pain and bear it myself I would.. He puts on his beautiful smile and tells me he is ok.. but there is something I told him a long time ago.. Honey.. even wearing shades.. your eyes tell me everything I need to know.. I will stand beside Ron.. I will be here no matter what happens in all of this.. I am hoping and praying with all of my soul that what has happened here can be repaired and that his daughters don't listen to all of the poison to the point they step out of our lives and deny themselves and their children the lifetime of love and support that Ron and I want to give to them and the opportunity for a happy future as a wonderful blended family..

I think I am all out of words now.. time to dry my eyes and go about my day.. Girls.. I know you read my blog and I know you have my number.. we are still going to be here.. always..

Y'all have fun

Fashion Statement

Well.. It is broken.. that's right.. My big toe on my right foot is broken in two places.. one break on each side of the joint.. how much fun can one woman have..

A few weeks ago I wrote about Chris totaling his car and dang near totaling me.. well as a result of that accident I now have a new shoe.. it is about two foot tall and about eight inches wide, complete with many velcro straps and an air pump to keep pressure on the foot to immobilize it.. oh yeah it is that beautiful shade of medical navy blue.. can ya beat that for accessorizing?..

What happened was.. right after the wreck, my foot hurt.. I thought I had just jammed my toe by trying diligently to hit the brakes on the passenger side of Chris' car..that didn't work.. So hardheaded me I think ok.. it will go away.. I continued on with my daily thing.. Running Chris back and forth to work.. doing housework.. shopping.. oh yeah and shampooing the carpets in the house.. The toe never got better.. in fact the more I did.. the worse it hurt.. finally last Wednesday I went to the dr.. He sent me for an X-Ray, after saying repeatedly.. " I believe you have broken it".. anyway.. Thursday morning the Dr. called me.. he tells me " Not only is it broken .. It is broken in two places.. we need to get you in to an Ortho NOW!!!!".. the dr. had his secretary set up an appointment for me.. 9:30 Friday morning.. which might I add was an hr and a half before Chris was due to take his drivers test for the second time.. The new Dr. tells me I have a choice.. I can go with the beautiful air boot cast I have now or the traditional plaster cast.. I chose this thing.. I can at least take it off to bathe and sleep.. ok.. so I am not supposed to take it off to sleep.. I don't see this as a problem.. I am not walking in my sleep so there is no danger of me repeatedly re breaking the toe like I had been doing prior to the going to the dr.. I am just sleeping.. I hobble out to Ron's truck to take Chris to his appt.. wouldn't you know it.. this thing on my foot is too wide for me to drive the Bravada.. how much does that suck?.. so.. Chris wound up driving us to his drivers test appointment.. which he failed.. We later met up with Ron.. who took over all driving of the Brevada.. I can drive my car ok.. the Camaro makes you sort of recline to drive and the space between the brake and the gas pedal is wider so I can get this thing on the gas without driving like the rest of the folks around here and riding the brake..

I am now hobbling around .. I can only wear skirts comfortably.. and while I don't mind skirts.. I am not a girly girl type.. so a full 6 weeks wearing nothing but dresses or skirts isn't gonna work for me.. I can wear pants.. but it is a pain to get them on and off.. I have to take this boot off and on every time.. and that is an exercise in velcro strapping , wrapping and air pumping that I would rather undertake as little as possible..

Today I am planning to do not much of anything.. I try to stay off of this foot as much as I can.. If I don't.. I pay for it by mid evening.. of course there is always the Lortab to take the pain away.. or at least make me not care if I have pain.. but I can't drive on drugs.. hmm thinking.. trying to remember what gear to put the car in and exactly where is that clutch thingy anyway.. nope.. not a good plan to drive stoned..

Well I think I am gonna get off here and hobble over to the couch for a morning of riveting television.. or a nap.. which is often the result of riveting morning television for me.. Y'all have fun..

Five Things..

Ok.. I have been away a while.. just really haven't had time to blog.. I have been busy worrying about my honey's hand and doing all the usual running.. and worrying .. you get the picture.. anyway.. Ron is gone to a class today.. he will at least be close to home all week.. this is a good thing... I know I won't be able to be with him but at least I know he is just down the street..sounds strange I know.. but oh well who said I was normal?..

My mother in law is here today.. she is cleaning upstairs and the back yard.. I love my mother in law.. don't get me wrong.. but there are times when I wonder where Ron came from.. both of his parents can be obsessive about things.. he isn't like that at all.. I am.. he isn't.. anyway.. I would love to be helping her but my wrist has decided that anything above normal cleaning is simply not going to happen today or any time in the near future.. I think it is only hurting like this because Ron's poor hand has been getting all the attention lately and it felt left out.. just my opinion..

This weekend is Heather's graduation.. that is the youngest of Ron's girls.. should be a good time.. I can't wait to see her walk across the stage and get her diploma.. even tho I didn't give birth to her I will be there smiling proudly as any other mom.. Next weekend is the one I am looking forward to and not looking forward to.. My ex will be here to take the kids to FL for a month.. that is so gonna suck and be great all at the same time.. I know I can use a break and it will be great to have some alone time with my honey.. but I know me.. after about a week I will be heartbroken and wanting my kids back.. I always wanted to be a mom.. I can't stand being away from my kids for too long.. I know the rest of them will still be around..I just have a hard time when I can't see, touch, kiss good night my kids.. just who I am.. anyway.. this isn't exactly what I had in mind when I started typing this.. Retro has the 5 things thing going on with her blog and I had every intention of responding with my own 5 things .. so.. here goes girl..


FIVE ITEMS
Five Items in my Fridge:
Dave's insanity hot sauce.. 5 drops of this thing on a whole chicken will clear your sinuses
Hunts Snack Pack - applesauce for Kyle
2 percent milk
About 5 different types of hot sauce.. can you tell we like spicy?
Protein Shake.. I have to drink them every day since my gastric bypass.. I would rather drink mud.. but at least they keep me alive.. alive is good

Five Items in my Closet:
About 20 pair of my shoes.. ok.. there I said it.. I have a shoe addiction..
3 pair of Ron's shoes
Lots of Clothes….this is where Ron beats me.. he has 3 times as many clothes as I do
A briefcase.. I don't know what is in that.. don't think I want to
A laptop.. hmm imagine me finding a computer in my closet.. we only have 6 pcs and 4 laptops in our house.
Five Items in my Car:
CD Case with about 15 Cd’s.
Chella's clothes
A gas can.. not that I would run out of gas on a long country road or anything like that
Coupons in my glove box.. I keep getting them every time I buy my diet Dew they keep going in the glove box.. one of these days they are gonna take over the car..
Two empty cigarette boxes and 2 empty pop bottles.. believe me that is clean for a car of mine.

Five Items in my Purse:
12 shades of lipstick at least
A spark plug gap gage.. never know when you might have to change plugs
Orange scented lotion.. I have the dryest hands on the planet.
This old cosmetics bag with a ziplock bag of letters, poems, pictures from and of Ron..
Lots of basic junk.. my purse weighs about 10lbs.. I only wish I were kidding.. It seems like when each child was born the purse got bigger.. now that they are all big enough to carry their own junk I don't think I can make the transition back to a normal sized purse..

Ok .. so there ya have it.. 5 things.. oh yeah.. I also got my hair styled today.. not cut.. the length is still there.. I just got a lot of the bulk cut out..

well mom in law wants me.. Y'all have fun

3 Day Weekend and Other Stuff

Whew it has been a bit of a busy week .. Tuesday night was Chella's 8th grade graduation.. ok .. I am thinking.. this shouldn't be too bad.. give them a few awards.. tell them they passed .. let the kids go to the dance and the parents go home.. Right? Wrong!!!.. this turned out to be a 2 hr EVENT.. there was a 20 minute speech about memories of all the times in school.. ok.. this is middle school.. then there was an hour long awards ceremony .. complete with children in evening attire.. I swear I saw 2 boys in tuxedos and 5 or 6 girls in 200 dollar evening gowns.. then there was the Class of 06 song to be played and sung by the chorus.. then the principal made a speech about the children moving on to real life.. Ummm excuse me.. they are going to HS.. when did HS become real life?.. I swear they were acting like these kids were going out into the world, getting jobs, and starting families.. I'm confused.. when did we decide that celebrating every milestone in a child's academic career had to be a big affair?.. What do these kids have to look forward to with HS graduation if everything is made such a special event?... Kindergarten here have ceremonies complete with cap and gown.. what the hell is that about.. I am not saying we shouldn't recognize accomplishments.. but does everything have to get so blown out of proportion for kids to feel that they have done something? I personally think we are creating a generation of people that won't have any incentive to do anything because everything has been turned into such a big deal that nothing seems worth putting effort into.. just my take..

Wednesday was great.. I went to Ron's school and hung out all day.. we didn't talk a lot. He had work to do and I read an entire book almost completely uninterrupted.. it was great.. I love just being in the same place with Ron.. being able to look up over my book and see him there is enough for me..

Yesterday we went to Rockcastle County.. Ron had a class.. and I had my debit card for shopping.. I got some great clothes for me.. a pair of jeans and a shirt for Ron.. Kyle got a couple of toys.. and Chella got a notebook and some clothes.. then we went back and waited about 45 mins for Ron to get out of class.. we drove home and Ron and I took a short nap until Chris called for us to pick him up from work.. It was a great day overall.. I got to spend time with the kids and Ron as well as going out spending money.. that is a good day.. just kidding.. I am not a big spender.. I just have a slight thrift store, yard sale addiction.. I can't help myself..

I woke up with a major headache this morning so my sweet honey went to pick up Chris for work and I stayed home on the couch with a bottle of advil.. I am starting to feel better now.. I don't know how long my headache will stay gone though.. Kyle's best friend Caimon just knocked on the door and he is not a quiet child.. oh well.. I am gonna get off here and rest for a bit until it is time for me to take Ron lunch.. should be a good day.. we have a somewhat busy weekend scheduled.. singing, dinners, oh and a Preschool Graduation party for our granddaughter.. who would have figured?.. anyway.. I'm gone..

Y'all have fun

Playing Catchup

Not that there is a lot to catch up on but here goes... I have finally mostly recovered from my adventures in riding with Chris.. My shoulder is still a bit sore and my foot still hurts if I stand on it for too long.. but otherwise I think I'm gonna live.. Chelsea seems to be over most of her whiplash too.. well at least the painful part... It is gonna be a long while before I ride with that boy driving again..

The weekend was good.. quiet and at home for the most part.. we had plans for Saturday and Saturday night but due to an ill vehicle and general tiredness on our part and the lack of a return phone call on Jesse's part we didn't do any of the things we planned.. we just sat home mostly and watched tv.. that is not a bad thing.. but by yesterday I was getting a bit stir crazy being mostly in the house all weekend so I decided to go shopping for Chelsea an outfit to wear to her 8th grade graduation tomorrow.. oh yeah tomorrow is the last day of school.. wooo ohoooooooo.. anyway.. after the trip to WalMart.. Ron and I drove out to the airport to pick up the vehicle Ron rented to drive to work today and tomorrow due to the illness in his Bravada (fuel pump)..He got a Chevy HHR.. that thing is cool to look at and has all sorts of gizmos but it isn't the most comfortable thing to ride in there was a something poking me in the rear end the whole trip last night.. oh yeah we had to go out and take the kids for a ride in the thing so they could say they got to ride in it.. you know how kids are.. did I mention I WILL drive this thing before we take it back..

Chelsea went to school today and got sent home.. she is in a special accelerated program and didn't participate in the regular 8th grade activities much.. the 8th grade went on a field trip.. she was not given a permission slip for this trip due to her schedule not being that of the rest of the 8th grade.. she didn't mind.. she got to come home .. She is now upstairs cleaning the apartment that Pete and Angie moved out of.. yeah of course they left a mess.. not that I didn't expect them to ya know.. anyway.. I am thinking Chelsea may have prefered to stay in school if she had known I was gonna put her to work..

Well I have my honey in my right ear.. and I need to go check on the Chella... Oh yeah.. Check out my honey's blog.. there is his latest poem..and some of y'all wonder why I am such a happy woman... Ok.. I'm out..

Y'all have fun

From Kyle To Mom and Other News.

This is an addition to yesterday's post.. it is the letter written by Ron and edited by Kyle..

To Mom

As we grow, we realize that some things cannot stay the same forever.As much as we enjoy the small things that make our relationship wonderful, they cannot last. We know, however, the flowerings that cause the little things, will not change. I know we will not always be able to sit on the bed laughing at yesterdays. We will not always be there to share the personals glimpses of life gone by. Someday, the reins of my life will pass into my own hands, and, while I will ever value your guidance, the decisions will become mine to make.
The invaluable parts of who we are will never change. I will always depend on your eager willingness to be a part of my life. I will rest continuously in the warmth of your love. This core will remain even though the trappings change. Our laughs will grow deeper. Our tears will burrow further into our hearts. Our love will continue to develop.
For now, we will still giggle uncontrollably at the goofiness of the ridiculous. We will talk about the deep mysteries and suddenly be talking about the bizarre. I will be the kid too big for my britches, and you will be the Mom that keeps me straight. I look forward to growing up and becoming the best man I can become. I look forward to becoming independent and making my way in life. I will never look forward to the part of growing up, that changes our everyday joys. Only the very real truth that the foundation will grow stronger allows me to take each step toward my future.

Only knowing that you will always be a part of my life, keeps me reaching.

I will always be your son. You will always be my Mom.

Kyle


In other around here news.. The Lincoln we got for Chris is no more.. Yesterday on the way from Chris' job to his house we had a slight detour in our trip.. into a telephone pole, a tree, a couple of stumps and a fence.. yep Christ totaled the Lincoln on it's maiden voyage from Winchester to Nicholasville.. We are all basically ok.. sore.. in pain.. but ok.. Chris felt bad about the car and having the accident but I assured him it is ok.. the only thing that matters is that we are all ok.. Cars can be replaced.. My kids can't.. poor guy.. he was so proud of having his first car and finally being able to look forward to some independence from having to rely on everyone to get him from point a to point b.. and everywhere in between.. I told him it will happen.. it will just take a little longer now.. I did tell him he buys the next car though.. anyway.. Ron has prescribed rest for me today.. and I think I will follow Doctor's orders on that one.. thank goodness the kids have the day off from school today and I don't have to worry about going out to get them or anything like that.. not that they felt like going today anyway.. ok.. enough of this... I am outta here..

Y'all have fun..

Mother's Day/ Everyday

I had a wonderful Mother's Day.. I didn't get out of bed til about 10:30.. and I only got up then at the insistance of my bladder.. That in itself was a great start to Mom's Day.. getting to sleep in is always a good thing.. I am an insomniac.. so any sleep is a good thing.. anyway.. I got up found the note Chelsea left for me taped to the bedroom door along with a banner, took the dogs out and settled in on the couch.. Kyle got up shortly after I did and started waiting on me hand and foot, getting me coffee, getting me this or that.. and giving me a beautiful letter.. written by Ron.. edited and approved by Kyle.. Kyle has the words on his own.. he just doesn't know how to put them together the way he would like to.. it made me cry..

Chelsea finally got up and we were off to the grocery store.. after shopping we went to Ron's parents house to wish his mom a happy day.. I love Ron's mom.. I have come to think of her as mom too.. she raised 6 kids.. I respect her for doing such an awesome job with them.. they are all good people and they all still love and admire their parents.. that is something you don't see in our world that often anymore.. Ron's dad is wonderful too.. you can see the love they still have for each other in their eyes and in the way they interact with each other.. it is just a wonderful thing to be witness too and I am honored to be included in their family..

We came home and the kids and Ron put the groceries away.. I got fussed at for trying to help.. I was having a bad wrist day.. and they shewed me out of the kitchen.. we sat around for a while, just enjoying each others company.. Sierra stopped by.. she wasn't feeling well and needed to call work to tell them she was still coming in but would be late.. she went to work and they sent her home.. Jordan dropped her off here again and went on to work himself..My brother Calvert called me to wish me a happy day.. he has called me every year on Mother's Day since I became a mom at 17 to wish me a happy day.. Sweet huh?.. anywho.. we talked for a while.. it is always good to hear from him.. since we don't get to see each other much.. he lives in AZ.. that is a bit of a drive from here.... While on the phone with him Ron,the kids and I headed over to visit mom.. It was a good visit.. she knew who we all were.. she didn't know our names.. but she knew who we were.. she remembered Ron and had a ball sitting and talking with us.. the girls and I are planning on taking her shopping tomorrow since there is no school and I will need the assistance with mom... should be a good time.. We left Northpoint and Ron headed towards home.. on the way he turned into the Home Depot parking lot.. the kids were confused.. I wasn't.. there is a Perkins restaurant in the same plaza.. that was Ron's true destination.. I knew it when he turned in the place.. the kids took a bit longer to catch on.. we had a great dinner and an even better time.. I would have liked to spent some time with Chris on Mother's Day but I do still get to see him every day.. that is a good thing.. After dinner we came home where I pretty much chilled for the rest of the night.. just enjoying the company of my kids and my honey.. all in all it was a great day..

I get tickled at all the jewelry commercials for Mom's Day.. and the flower commercials.. most of the moms I know would love jewelry or flowers sure.. but what means the most to a mom is time with our kids.. seeing them smile.. knowing they are growing into good people.. feeling we have done something well in raising them.. there are no diamonds, no roses, no perfume that can possibly rival the simple " I love you Mom" from your child.. just my take on it.. I hope every Mom out there, and the Dads that are being both mom and dad had just as wonderful a Mother's Day as I did..

Y'all have fun.

A Season Of Change

I have been talking to my friends and reading blogs of online friends lately and there seems to be a recurring theme among them.. It seems that it is a season of change.. My best friend is looking forward to getting married in July, another friend is moving out of her house and on with her life .. I have always adapted well to change.. I think it is partially because when I was a kid we didn't stay in one place for very long.. I went to 16 different schools before 8th grade.. No I wasn't a military brat.. My dad drank a lot and we lost a lot of houses because even working 2 and 3 jobs my mom couldn't afford to keep them.. anyway.. All of the talk of changes got me to thinking about some of the changes in my own life in the last 4 years..

I have changed so much about my life that sometimes I have to slow down and take a look at myself in the mirror to make sure it is really me.. I left an 18 yr marriage that I had known for a long time was killing me, I met my sweet wonderful Ron, I have lost 170+ lbs, I became a better mother in spite of the 3 months I went through trying to find out who I was and was not a good mom at the time, and recently I have come to terms with my family.. there have been several other smaller changes in my life that have shaped the last 4 years but, there is no way I can remember most of them I am sure however that they along with the larger things have helped to make me who I am right now.. I like me.. That took a long time.. that is something I still need to work on.. I know I will keep changing.. Life around me will keep changing and shifting directions and I know that all of these things will assist me in being the person I want to be..

I can't wait for the next set of changes.. buying a house.. Moving out of here.. Chella getting into high school.. maybe finally having a job ( thanks Denise).. Think I will just strap on my seatbelt and enjoy the ride.. Y'all have fun

Monday Again

I don't like Mondays .. I don't know anyone that does.. well except maybe my honey.. but then again he likes just about everything...nothing gets that man down.. Gotta love that ya know.. anyway.. the weekend was great.. I didn't have to pick Chris up on Saturday.. that was a good thing. I got 2 hrs of laying in bed cuddling with Ron time instead of drive time. Then we went to Todd's to do the karaoke thing.. Red and Steve were there.. along with a host of other good friends.. not that I don't want to mention them by name but for me it was all about Red and Steve. We haven't seen them in forever.. I miss them both so much.. They were friends with Ron before he and I met.. Red and I just hit it off the first time we met and I have felt I found a long lost sister in her for a long time.. I don't know Steve as well but he is a great guy and makes my friend happy .. that goes a long way towards getting my respect and friendship.. There was singing.. contests.. remembering of old times.. catching up on new things.. oh yeah and the Steve test driving my Camaro.. he liked the way it handles.. you know I gotta like the guy if I give him the keys to my car and tell them to have fun with it.. We all had a really good time..

Ron and I didn't get home til 1:40 in the morning .. when we arrived there was a pissed off Chella on the porch.. hands on hips asking "where have y'all been" I felt 15 again and mom was fixing to ground me.. Chella banished us to our room for the rest of the night.. Kiddo.. you are gonna have to get much better at this grounding thing before you have kids.. Our bed is where we wanted to be.. Sunday was a slow, not feeling good day.. I think I have caught a bit of a cold over the weekend.. I sniffled and ached my way through the day..

I took Chris to work and then upon returning home Ron and I went to the grocery store for dog/cat food along with a few other necessary items.. then it was back to the house for a really sweet treat from Ron.. he made me a milkshake from sugar free ice cream and low fat milk.. I love milkshakes.. I just can't have them most of the time due to sugar content.. I don't digest sugar since my gastric.. the shake was great but him thinking of a way for me to have one and then making it for me was even sweeter.. We crawled into bed around 7pm and that is where I stayed mostly until 6:20 this morning. I feel less stuffy this morning but I still have the headache and I am PMSing on top of all that so I think this will be a more lazy day for me than usual.. I am intermittingly cleaning and resting.. I will get it done, just not at my usual warp speed..

I still don't like Mondays.. but then again I don't like any day that takes my honey away from me.. time to clean..

Y'all have fun

Happy Cinco De Mayo

It is finally Friday.. this has been the longest week.. I don't know why.. Maybe it is just all the changes in schedules this week or the trips to the hospital.. (My dad had heart surgery yesterday).. or it could be the anticipation of seeing our old friends Retro-girl and her hubby Dark's Life.. yes they have real names..anyway.. they are in town from Chicago and we are planning to get together with them this evening for some serious Karaoke.. Clearing my throat.. not that that will help me sing any better..

The best part of it being Friday is my honey will be home with me for the next 2 days.. It is strange how much I miss him while he is at work.. when I was married to my ex.. there were times I wished for the man to stay at work 24/7.. I have never had that feeling with Ron.. don't think I'm gonna.. Ron treats me like I am precious.. who wouldn't miss that..

Right now I am trying to decide what needs to be done the most around here.. house cleaning or napping.. I didn't fall asleep until 2:47 this morning.. too much on the old gray matter .. and I woke up at 5:03 this morning when Ron got out of bed..I fell back asleep til around 6:42 which had me running late to get the kids , the dog and myself out of the house.. I am not good with rushing.

Lacey.. the annoying lil dachshund loves to ride in the car.. she loves to go with me when I do my morning run .. Malcolm loves to ride too... but 4 people and an 85lb dog in a Camaro doesn't work out well.. So I will take Lacey with me a few times a week..but before you start feeling sorry for poor Malcolm don't worry he gets to go for rides on the weekends in the Bravada... where he can hang his head out the window and attempt to stick his head out of the sun roof.. If he were only 3 inches taller he could do it.. but he never quits trying..

Well I think the napping is winning.. I can barely keep my eyes open and my fingers typing at the same time.. I guess it is a good thing I can sleeptype..

Y'all have fun.. I am headed for the couch..

No Morning Commute

I am having a lazy day.. When I got up this morning it was pouring rain.. I still got the kids moving and out the door at 7am.. on the way.. Ron called me and suggested I call Chris and have him call his boss and find out if in fact they were working today.( sometimes my brain is not working enough to do these things).. I called Chris, who called his boss then called me back to inform me that there would be no working this morning..which meant no morning trip to Winchester.. I had a whole hour to do nothing.. I didn't really know what to do with that much unplanned time.. Chella,Kyle and I stopped at the store down the street where I got a diet dr pepper with cherry and vanilla.. funny thing.. I don't like Dr. Pepper. .never have.. but I love the cherry and vanilla and the berries and cream ones.. yeah I do know I am strange..anyway from there we went to mail a rebate form for Ron.. and then took Kyle to school.. he likes to get there in time to socialize in the cafeteria with the other kids.. that means I usually drop him off between 7:30 and 7:45.. school begins at 8:00.. then there is Chella to drop off.. her school doesn't begin til 8:30 and she cannot be there earlier than 8:00 so .. on normal traveling mornings she rides to Winchester and back with me, this morning we just sorta sat around in the parking lot listening to our favorite morning show on the radio.. 103.3 zrock.. and waiting for it to be time for her to go in..wow didn't I have an exciting morning?

After I deposited the kids in their respective schools I came home with every intention of cleaning house and getting some things done around here.. instead I had some sort of strange allergy attack and then Dude (the 15lb cat) decided he just had to get in my lap for petting.. this did nothing to improve the allergy situation considering I am allergic to cats.. I swear cats know when people are allergic to them.. they can sense it.. and will make it their life's ambition to cuddle up to that person.. anyway... when I finally convinced him that the wheezing and sneezing was killing me and that if I dropped dead there would be no more petting he got down.. I promptly fell asleep on the couch for an hour.. I woke up feeling a bit better.. I still can't get my eyes or nose to stop itching.. but at least I can breathe now.. I have done a whole lot of nothing today.. I made the bed and did a load of laundry.. see.. when I have too much free time I don't know what to do with it so I generally do nothing.. ok.. that is my story and I am sticking to it.. my ADHD shuts down when I have nothing to do.. sounds plausible doesn't it?

I do have a few things to do this afternoon... I have kids to pick up and today is Chella's second appt with her counselor.. and somewhere in there I have dinner to cook and vaccuuming to do.. but there will be no trip to Winchester or Nicolasville this afternoon which means I will have 2 more hours with my honey.. sometimes the taking Chris back and forth doesn't bother me much.. but lately I feel like I am neglecting my honey .. that is not a good thing.. Chris is looking at a trailer across the street from where he works tomorrow afternoon.. If he and Tommy room together they should be able to afford it... I love seeing my son every day.. but the running and neglecting my hubby part I don't love.. so I do hope this works out for him.. he will be able to get his license and we are gonna help him get a car or truck that way he won't be out in the middle of nowhere with no way to get anywhere.. and he will have a place of his own which I think will do him a world of good in growing up...

I am very proud of Chris as of late.. the kid is doing everything he should be doing and nothing he shouldn't.. over the weekend some of his friends from FL came into town.. they were lost and had no money.. due to the one with the money having his wallet stolen in a motel room.. they wanted to hang with Chris and borrow enough money to get to one of the boy's grandmother's house in IN.. They followed me out to pick Chris up from work Saturday.. Chris was glad to see his friend.. gave him a guy hug and 20 bucks and politely told them he wouldn't be hanging with them because he needed to get home and rest for work the next day.. the old Chris would have hung with his friends and most likely gotten into some sort of trouble with them.. he is growing up.. that is a good thing and I am proud of his choices.. I let him know.. he turned a little redfaced as he has always done and said "thanks Mom" what more could a mom ask for.. he never fails to tell me thank you for the running him back and forth.. he never fails to let me know he appreciates the things I do for him.. what he doesn't understand.. is even though the thanks and appreciation from him are precious to me.. I do the things I do simply because he is my child.. and I love him..

Well I think I have stalled on the house cleaning long enough.. I get to spend that extra 2 hours with my honey tonight.. I would rather do that in a clean house...

Oh Russ.. thank you for calling and checking on ya girl.. she said she loves ya..

Y'all have fun..

The Pain Is Silent

For those of you that read Ron's blog , you know what happened to Chelsea on Sunday. To make a long painful story short she was attacked and bitten by a boy on our front porch.. before he bit her he told her he would kill Kyle and rape her.. so I tend to look at the attack as not only assault but a sex crime as well.. she wasn't raped.. but she was violated just the same..


We have taken the proper steps to first have this boy arrested and punished for what he did.. and secondly to help Chelsea work through any emotional issues that may arise from this.. She is showing the same type of emotional responses that a rape survivor shows ( I hate the word victim).. she no longer feels safe sitting on the porch alone.. When she and I go to the store she will not leave my side.. she doesn't want to walk home from school anymore.. Not that I ever let her walk home alone .. just now she doesn't even feel comfortable walking with her friends and her boyfriend.. she is showering more and feels "dirty".. those are normal parts of the emotional responses to any violation.. given my history with this subject I knew I could not be objective in helping her.. so I sought outside assistance for her.. she told me yesterday after her first visit that it made her feel better to talk to someone not so close to the issues at hand.. that is a good thing.. she also got a 911 cell phone.. the only # it will call is 911 and anytime she feels she is in an unsafe situation and needs assistance she only has to push one button to get help.. that is a good thing as well..

I have a personal history with this subject that I will not go into here.. I learned to handle it on my own and have made peace with it.. it took me a long time to get here.. I don't want Chelsea to have to go it alone.. no one should have to deal with an issue of any type of personal violation on their own..

Part of me wants to find the kid that did this to my precious child and beat the living shit out of him.. I know that is a normal reaction when a mother's child is hurt.. I won't do that.. I will let the police handle it.. I will not however sit back and wait for them to do it.. I am gonna be like a thorn in the side of the police until something is done about this kid..

I wrote a poem about a year and a half ago about my personal experiences , about how sometimes even to this day 30 years later I still have my moments of pain.. I have shared it here before, so if you will allow me the indulgence I would like to share it again.. for my daughter's pain, for my pain and for anyone that has been there..

The Pain Is Silent

The pain is silent
Screaming only on the inside
Smile brightly outward for the world to see
Never reveal what lies beneath

Tortured waiting, for it will come
In the dead of night
Peace laid to waste by hurt’s wail
Trembling from a frozen touch

The bringer of the torment is dry bones in his grave
Still he lives on in the memory of the child that once was
Reality fades but his face looms large
Shrinking into the smallest space to try to find comfort

Icy fingers invading even love’s warmest embrace
Memories crashing against even the sincerest touch
Cringing inside the child screams not again
The me of now buries the pain just to survive

Suffer silently
To give voice would to lend strength to the demon
To surrender all hope of happiness
Quieter strength is the stronger,
bearing a load that no loud wail of agony could carry

The sound of innocence shattered is deafeningly still..
Tammy J.

November 17, 2004



The only thing I am grateful for in Chelsea's situation is she doesn't have to be silent in her pain..

I usually end my post with Y'all have fun.. I just don't have a fun bone in me right now.. so I will just say .. Take care

What a Week Already.

I didn't make it to the gym yesterday.. but I still got a workout.. Ron's parents own a few houses around here and Ron sorta manages them for them.. I try to help out where I can.. Yesterday was one of those where I can days.. They had a tenant move out and well lets just say this wasn't the cleanest or neatest person on the planet.. I volunteered to help clean out the house and get it ready to re rent.. OMG.. I have never seen such a mess.. I didn't know it was possible to mistake an attic for the garbage can.. I do believe these people are now walking around naked cause they didn't take any of their clothes with them.. Mom and I worked our butts off.. we bagged , swept, carried and fussed for almost 5 hrs .. we got it mostly cleaned out.. all that was left was the heavy furniture stuff we couldn't lift.. I left there a bit after 1 and headed home for a much needed shower.. I decided on a bath instead.. ewwwww the water was a lovely shade of grey about 30 seconds into it.. I bathed then showered afterwards.. yuck..

After my shower I tried to rest my back a bit... I knew that Justin is out of school by 2:30 so I waited til he got home and called him to ask if he would help with the heavy stuff.. he was happy to oblige.. I have to give the boy credit.. he is one of the hardest working skinny little kids I have ever seen in my life.. anyway.. Tommy, Justin and I headed back to the house.. they got the heavy stuff out of the house.. while they were working I went to pick up Chella.. and grab some tools from the house.. they guys got it finished in a couple hours.. then it was time to come home and cook supper.. I put supper in the wok and made Ron's lunch and went to get Kyle from his chess class.. by that time Chris had called for a ride home and Ron was on his way home .. sweet man that he is offered to pick Chris up on his way home from work.. we met at Kroger to exchange son's .. he took Kyle I took Chris and off to Nicholasville we went.. I finally dropped Chris off and got home around 7:15pm.. by this time my back felt like there was some evil gnome in there with a hot poker trying to reaarange my spine.. I curled up on the couch with a book and the heating pad.. and that is where I stayed most of the evening..

This morning I am still hurting a bit.. so my sweet darling hubby offered to meet Chris at his pick up spot and take him to work for me.. saving me and my back 40 minutes of driving/riding time.. he is such a sweety.. Oh speaking of my sweety.. he finished his internship yesterday.. and aside from being so proud of him and a healthy dose of I told you so's it means he doesn't have to stay late anymore..well not til 6 anyway.. yay!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway.. after he left I got to sit here for an additional 45 mins with the heat on my back.. I reluctantly got up and took the kids to school at 7:45 and came home to do my housework.. If I don't keep moving some my back is gonna seize up on me and I won't be able to move at all .. not fun..

The rest of my day is going to be fairly uneventful I hope.. I need to go to the nursing home and visit mom.. but that is usually a good time.. and I still have to pick up kids, do more laundry, clean a bit more, and do the afternoon Chris run.. but those are all part of the ordinary around here.. time to get off here and do something.. I have been sitting too long and the gnome is pissed..

Y'all have fun

I May Hate Myself In the Morning..

Ouch.. I have been wanting to get back into the gym for a long while now.. I have been wanting to get my body in some shape other than the shape it is in.. Today must be the beginning of that..Ron and I started about 2:30 this morning with our own private workout.. ( Russ update).. and knowing I was going with our friend Brandy to the local Y today.. I foolishly thought ok.. a little less sleep ain't gonna hurt me.. ( It was worth it at any rate)..

Brandy called me about 9 : 45 this morning wondering if I were still going or if I had chickened out on her.. I said in my most cheerful voice.. " I'm ready".. Her hubby had her car this morning so I drove over to pick her and her darling little girl up.. and as Brandy was admiring the "Ro" we were off .. we got there, I signed in as a guest.. and next thing I know I am walking 3 mph on an incline of 2 on a treadmill for 20 mins.. that part was ok.. that I can do.. I love to walk anyway.. so ok.. no problem.. then came the weights.. now you have to understand .. I used to work out 3 times a week.. but that was 20 yrs ago.. I ain't young anymore.. I ain't strong anymore.. so Brandy puts me on non wrist taxing machines and helps me adjust the weights and I promptly try to kill myself I think.. I don't remember being this weak.. 20 reps damn near killed me with 12.5lbs.. and that was on the leg lifts.. we don't want to go there with the rest of the machines.. those aren't for excersise.. those things were made for mid-evil torture.. I did make it through it.. I managed to do 2 sets of 20 reps on all the machines I could do without hurting my wrist.. and surprisingly I even managed to find some to work the upper body as well..

I feel pretty good.. I can feel my muscles planning a revolt for later on this evening.. and I know my back is gonna be in a pissy mood.. but I actually feel pretty good.. I am even thinking bout going back with her on Monday.. OMG.. I have truly lost my mind this time.. oh well.. at least it gets me out of my routine and I am doing something for me.. even if it does wind up killing me.. just kidding.. I know when I get used to going again I will feel and look better.. and that is something I need to do for me.. I am so used to doing everything for everyone that I think this will be good for me to do for me.. I don't want to lose weight.. I weigh right about 155 or so.. usually.. and at 5'8 that is a good weight .. I just want to tone my body from where I have already lost so much weight and get into better shape .. I think starting with 2 days a week I should be able to do it.. wish me luck..

TGIF.. I get my sweet Ron home for 2 days.. Yeah I know I had him home for 4 days last weekend.. but that was last weekend.. I miss him.. this is a whole new weekend.. and Ill take the 2 days when I can get em.. well think It is time for me to go.. umm .. lemme think.. oh yeah.. lay down and die till the tylenol kicks in..

Y'all have fun

Still Running

I know I have been negligent in my posting lately.. I just don't seem to have time to blog.. between running back and forth with Chris, dealing with the Chelsea drama.. (too much to go into right now) , and all the other things I have to do in a day.. by the end of most days I am ready to cuddle in the bed and go to sleep by around 8pm.. now Kyle has gotten into the mix of changing up my schedule.. he has 2 different afterschool activities he is involved with now and stays late 3 days a week.. you would think that would free up some time for me around his usual pick up time, it doesn't.. Because my life is so hectic I have to be very precise when scheduling things.. I have to know how long it will take me to do this or that and get back to where I need to be when I need to be there.. Kyle staying late 3 days a week is messing with that.. but I am sure I will adjust soon.. he has only been doing this for 2 weeks and last week was spring break so I had all sorts of time to fill.. That is my main problem.. I am so accustomed to running all the time and having almost every moment filled with things to do, when I don't have things to do or have too much free time I get antsy.. I don't know what to do with myself..

Today will be fun.. I get to go visit Ron's class as a business professional. Ron is having a community business leader in to talk with his class about what the real world expects of them.. I have a degree in business administration as does his principal.. he thought it would be a good chance for the students to take part in a round table type discussion of what employers look for in potential employees and some interviewing techniques for them as some of them are going to be graduating this year and will need some real skills for getting a job soon.. Oh yeah and there will be pizza.. I think the kids will pay more attention to that than me .. but hey they are teenagers and this is only the second day back after spring break..

I think I am gonna get off here and go clean something.. and then maybe take a short nap before I have to leave for Winchester..

Y'all have fun..

I Am Still Alive.. Sorta

I haven't forgotten I have a blog.. I haven't forgotten that some of my best friends actually read this thing.. I am just not quite human enough to write intelligently right now.. the trip kicked my ass.. In more ways than one.. the physical part of it is what is mostly bothering me now.. I forget sometimes that I only feel like I am in my 20's still... in fact my body knows I am getting close to the 40 mark even if my mind doesn't.. my recovery time isn't what it used to be.. My entire body is hurting right now and I seem to have lost all use of the index finger on my right hand.. makes typing interesting to say the least.. anyway.. just wanted to let anyone that is interested know I am still alive and will hopefully be back to myself in a few days..

Oh one major thing that I can't leave out of this .. I know some folks probably get tired of hearing about how wonderful Ron is.. but for y'all .. get over it.. for the ones that ain't tired of it... he is the main reason I made it back at all.. I had a panic attack ( actually two of them) for the first time in about 5 yrs.. and he was able to do something that no one has ever been able to do.. he talked me through them and gave me back my confidence in me and convinced me to take care of me so that I could take care of the kids I had with me on that winding mountain road.. so again my love.. thank you.. your voice in the night was my lifeline.. as your voice is always my comfort..

Y'all have fun

The New Toy

Well.. we got the Camaro.. Monday is still somewhat a blur.. we did so much that day I don't know where to start.. We took the Lumina back to the dealer.. when we got there the salesman tried one more time to get me to keep Rose.. he offered 1000.00 for me to keep her.. I was like no.. then he tried to sell me a blazer.. I don't want a blazer.. they are too big for what I was looking for.. and further more I wouldn't want to buy anything from this guy.. He gave us a check for the full amout of the car plus the tires we put on it.. and we were on our way.. to Ohio that is..

After stopping for lunch and Kyle ( who has a really bad cold/flu this week) getting his first pizza sub we called the man in Ohio and told him we were on our way.. We got there, I drove "lil' toy" and fell in love/lust whatever with him.. (the car).. we paid the man and headed for the next little hole in the wall town to get it legal to make the drive back home.. Yeah .. ok.. that is what we thought we were going to do.. When we got there the building was about the size of the bathrooms in our clerks office here and was staffed with people who didn't seem the least bit interested in helping anyone.. The lady looking bored asked Ron and I for our licenses and SS cards.. I just happened to have my SS card due to the fact I had lost the old one and got the new one in the mail last week, when it came I put it in my purse ( Ron calls it the black hole) and it was still there.. Ron however, didn't have his with him.. the lady tells us we need something with his SS# on it along with his name.. health ins card, voters registration card, something like that.. we had nothing.. We went back out to the truck.. Ron called our health insurance provider to ask them if they could fax the info to the clerk's office.. while he was doing that he rummaged through the glove box and came up with a letter from the SSA .. with his name, addy, and SS#.. I took the letter to the other bored looking lady there.. only to be told that a letter from the federal freakin government was not acceptable.. ok.. if that isn't acceptable what is.. Our insurance company couldn't fax the info due to privacy regulations.. Ron came in with this news.. I shared with him the unacceptability of the letter from the SSA.. he took the paperwork back from miss bored #2 and tells her " Fine, I'll drive it illegally then" and out we go..

We drove the 100 miles home without a tag.. we did have the title.. and the car was insured.. so if I had been stopped I would have gladly informed the officer about the incredible stupidity of the people of Ohio and hoped for the best. ( no offense to anyone from OH) I just don't like that state.. Did I ever mention my ex is from OH?

We got "toy" home and found out our clerks office is open til 6pm on Mondays.. yayyyy.. we rush down there.. they tell us the price on the title is not good enough and we will have to get a bill of sale from the seller stating the price..and the car would need to be inspected.. ok.. fine.. we called the dude in OH.. he said he would fax the info.. got the car insurance carrier to fax proof of ins.. The lady gave us a one day pass to drive the car down there on Tuesday for inspection.. By this time it is after 6... We head home again.. about a half hour after we sit down .. Ron's phone rings , It is Chas needing help moving furniture.. so we are off and running again.. we helped them get the part of their sectional that wouldn't fit in their truck home.. on the way home we stopped for food and smokes for me.. we finally walked back in the house around 8:45pm.. and promptly crashed..

I got the legal stuff done on "toy" yesterday.. and have been driving my little heart out ever since.. I love the little thing.. it drives well.. it shifts well.. and it is way cute.. I will have to get Ron to take a pic or two and post it here soon.. there is the wrist factor with driving a stick.. yes it hurts.. but no more than it hurts anyway.. and the I haven't driven a stick in 4 yrs and I am rusty factor.. but that is getting better.. but mostly there is the I love my car factor..

I thanked Ron Monday night.. he didn't know why I was thanking him.. I told him I was thanking him for dealing with all the hassle and stress just to make sure I had what I wanted.. how sweet is that.. Thank you again my love..

Whew.. I didn't realize this was gonna be a novella when I started.. talk about wrist pain.. I think I am gonna go forage for food.. medicate Kyle, then go sit on the porch and look at " toy" ..

Y'all have fun...

Confused Yet?

OK... the lumina is going back to the car place.. they called us Friday telling us that the car has a salvage title.. that means that at one time or another the car has either been totalled or salvaged.. this in itself is not really a big deal to me.. I have worked as a body repair person and mechanic.. I know that cars can be rebuilt with no harm done.. the problem for me is they didn't tell us this from the beginning and then they tried to rush me into making a decision whether or not to keep the car.. I don't like being rushed into things.. especially things about my money.. then on Saturday they offered us 500.00 to keep it.. we said "No" then the offer jumped to 600.00.. still " No" then the offer went to 800.00.. we said to ourselves.. "Maybe"... we drove the car this weekend.. It finally made the noise I was telling him about yesterday.. he called a friend about the noise.. the friend told Ron it is most likely the Torque Converter going out on it.. that is a 600.00 job to fix.. Umm the car is going back and they are going to pay me for the tires I put on it.. that is the end of it...

Ron and I had planned to meet with the carlot this afternoon and go car shopping afterward.. and guess what happened.. the guy in Ohio called saying he fixed the ignition problem with the Camaro and while he was at it he noticed the clutch was slipping so he fixed that too.. he wanted to know if I still wanted it.. Ummm yeah if it is fixed and running.. yeah I want it.. I feel good about that car.. I have since the first time I saw it..I don't know if we are going to get it today or tomorrow.. but I really want this car.. I know it has more miles on it.. but I just have a good feeling about the car.. I tried to talk myself out of wanting it.. I couldn't get it off my mind.. I kept thinking about it.. I told Ron all weekend I wanted to call the dude about the car.. he must think I am crazy.. I just can't help it.. when something gets in there it won't get out until I know why I keep thinking about it.. now I know.. I think this is the car I am supposed to have.. ok.. go ahead .. think I am crazy.. I do.. anyways.. time to start the running..

Y'all have fun

I Feel Good....

I don't know why.. but today I woke up in a great mood.. I actually slept last night .. that may have something to do with it.

My driving all over has resumed.. no there is nothing wrong with "Rose" she is fine. Chris called me yesterday and informed me that he has gotten his old job back with the landscaping company.. this is a good thing.. the bad news is.. Chris is living in Nicholasville and his job is in Winchester.. Beek's mom met me half way between Nich. and Lexington for me to pick up Chris this morning ( thank you Michelle) and we were off to take Kyle to school and then to Winchester to drop Chris off, then I had to come back home for Chelsea to pick up her things.. the fact that I told her to bring them with us in the first place and she didn't.. didn't seem to be a problem for her.. we stopped here, grabbed the books and it was off again racing to her school.. she was late..

We go to court again next Friday for the so called harassment charge against Chris, hopefully we will be able to get the judge to agree to Chris coming back home.. We can prove that Chris didn't harass John so there is no reason for Chris to not be able to live at home.. It pisses me off that Chris has not been found guilty of anything and he is being punished .. first by making him live in Nicholasville.. not that living with Michelle and Jeff is a bad thing but this is Chris' home.. this is where his family is.. second.. Chris lost a good job because of the moving to Nicholasville thing.. he was working mostly 2nd shift at that time and there is no way I could have picked him up at midnight and taken him home the 20 miles or so.. third.. Now that he has his other job back it makes the rest of us have serious transportation problems trying to help this young man keep a job and make a living.. this is causing him to not be able to do that .. and he hasn't even gone to trial yet...

Ok.. now I am through bitching..I still feel great.. I am still in a great mood.. I am going to Winchester again today.. there is a job there that I want.. it is for an assistant librarian.. for me that would be perfect.. I love books.. I read all the time.. what better place for me than in a library.. ok so it is a school library but I can see me now.. trying to encourage a love of books in young minds.. yep that would work for me.. wish me luck..

We have made no progress on the house yet.. trying to get our mortgage guy to get back with us.. apparently he is either not getting the messages or he isn't calling back right away.. we don't know.. but we really want to get a move on this.. hopefully he will get back with us soon..

I think I am gonna finish my house cleaning and get outta here to go apply for that job.. Y'all have fun..

Change of Cars

Well the camaro didn't pan out.. Friday, I was checking on the how to get the legal part of the car done thing so I could drive the car legally from Ohio to Kentucky.. I found out the only way I could do it was to have a bill of sale .. I couldn't get that without paying the dude for the car, so .. Ron took off from work, I went and got Chris and Beek and we headed for Ohio.. It was a great 1 1/2 drive... we got there and what do you know but the car wouldn't start.. we tried jumping it .. we tried the battery charger.. nothing worked.. so very bummed by that time we headed home.. the guy said he would call us if he found out what was wrong with it and that if we still wanted it fine.. if not that was fine too..

We got home and Ron got online trying to find something else.. something to cheer me up.. I was way down about the whole thing.. he found a cute little Chevy Lumina online.. we went and looked at it today... I drove it and I fell in love.. ok.. so it isn't a camaro.. it isn't HOT.. but it is cute and runs great and it is 2 yrs newer than the Camaro .. It is a beautiful shade of burgandy, almost like a bloodrose color.. I am seriously thinking of calling her Rose.. I don't know why I name my cars.. I just always have.. It usually doesn't take long for me to name them either.. I know it is strange.. but who ever said I was normal... Cars have personalities.. they do.. so they need a name.. It is that simple..

Anyway.. the rest of today's post is for my beautiful friend Red.. here ya go gorgeous..

Name: Tammy J.
Childhood Ambition: To be a doctor
.Fondest Memory: I have many wonderful memories.. One that comes to mind is the look in Ron's eyes as he sang " You had me from hello" to me at our wedding.
.Soundtrack: Hmmm thinking I really loved the music in " Blues Brothers 2000"
MusicRetreat: In my car alone on an open highway.
Wildest Dream: Win the lottery and build my dream home with enough land to build homes for all 7 kids.
Proudest Moment: Graduating College at age 22 after being told I wouldn't go because I got married at 16 and was pregnant with my 3rd child through most of my last yr of college. Also finally doing something totally for me and having gastric bypass surgery.
Biggest Challenge: Being a good wife, mom, friend, mostly being the best me I can be for me so I can be the best whatever to those I love.
Alarm Clock: Ron's cell phone.
Perfect Day: Most every day since May of 2002
First Job: Arby's.. I was 13 and lied about my age to say I was 16
Indulgence:Perfume, shoes
Last Purchase: Last was a cup of coffee,2 diet Dews and Cheetos, Oh yeah and my car.
Favorite Movie: Lady and The Tramp hands down..:
Inspiration: My kids, My hubby, people I love.
(Finish the sentence)

My Life: My life is not just what I am doing now or where I am going it is a combination of where I have been the me that I have become and who I can still grow to be surrounded with all the love anyone could want and the security of finally loving the skin that I'm in..

Y'all have fun

Life Is Good.

Snickers is alive.. Bobby the brother in law, finished putting the starter on Snickers last night.. we were not home, when I got here we had other things to do.. which I will tell ya about in a minute.. anyway.. when the other things got done, I went out and started my little van up.. It came to life as it always has... ahhhhhhhh no more running back and forth to Winchester.. I am sort of bummed about not getting to spend that much time with Ron but I figure he and I can spend time together around 2 am like we did this morning to make up for it... ( sorry Russ).. The kids are not entirely pleased about the resurrection of snickers.. It signals the end to breakfasts from Hardee's and Marathon.. poor little deprived children will just have to go back to cereal, oatmeal, waffles, or whatever else we might have in the kitchen..

Ok.. on to the "other" things Ron and I had to do when we got home last night.. no this will not be a close your eyes Russ thing...Ron and I had been looking at cars on e-bay the other night.. we spotted a 95 camaro z28 that I promptly fell in love with.. Ron put it on his watch list.. yesterday while we were at his school and he was finishing up some things he looked at his e bay watch list and asked me if I wanted him to bid on it.. I thought he was kidding, he wasn't.. he put the bid on it and with and hr and a half left on the auction we left the school and headed home.. when we got here I was anxious to find out if we were still the high bidder.. There was a package here that Ron had to look at first.. then the computer wasn't cooperating and had to be shut down and re booted.. finally he got online and checked.. we were not the high bidder.. Ron entered a new bid.. we were at 18 mins at that point.. I held my breath.. I paced.. I went outside to smoke.. I came back in with 2 minutes to go.. I sat breathlessly beside Ron and watched the last few seconds tick away... We Won!!!!! We are going to Ohio this weekend to get my camaro.. wooohoooooo .. I have always loved the camaro.. I have always wanted one.. now I have it.. I can't wait.. I am gonna look good in that car.. speaking of which.. I need to get my butt to the courthouse and get the temp tag and transfer form..

y'all have fun..

Blah Blah Blah

I feel blah today.. I don't have a clue why.. Ron was having a "foggy" day yesterday so I guess I can have a blah day today.. It isn't that I don't have anything to do.. I have plenty with Ian here..It isn't that I am particularly unhappy about anything.. I'm not.. I don't even think it is the looking for a job and no one wants to hire me thing anymore.. I just feel out of sorts...

I am getting my van back tomorrow.. Our brother in law Bobby came over after work yesterday and took the starter off.. but due to lack of tools and light he couldn't put the new one on, he will be here this afternoon with his own tools to finish the job.. that is good news.. Ron says the not having his truck with him isn't a problem for him, he just hates that I have to drive so much.. He ain't the only one..

I am wanting to hurry up and get the settlement thing done with my wrist. I am getting a new car with part of it.. well not new but new to me.. the van as much as I love the lil thing kills me to drive.. and I want to get things settled with whether or not we are moving to Mt. Sterling.. I love the house.. Honestly.. It doesn't matter to me where we live just so we are together I guess what bothers me is uncertainty.. I like to know what we are doing.. I am just like that I like to know what is going on and when.. If I am gonna do something I do it.. I have always been that way.. Ron takes things more slowly.. he thinks more than I do about things.. I usually know what I want and go for it.. that works for me.. Ron's way isn't a wrong way.. It is just his way ya know.. That is one of the things that make Ron and I work so well.. We have very similar personalities in many ways.. however we are also vastly different in some areas.. those differences just balance us and make us understand each other even better.. that is a good thing..

Well Chas and Chris are here to take my Ian for the day.. Y'all have fun

I'm Too Old For Two Year Old's

I didn't know I had gotten old.. I had no idea until this week.. It is only Tuesday and I am already dreaming of the weekend.. I have Ian all week.. Don't get me wrong...I love having the little guy here.. I love watching him and playing with him.. the problem is I thought I had the energy to chase his lil butt and I don't.. he wants to run.. Nanny wants to walk.. he wants to beat up the dogs.. Nanny wants to sleep.. He wants to.. well you get the picture..

I had also forgotten the simple fact that the word "no" doesn't mean much in a two yr olds vocabulary..He knows what it means.. he just chooses not to understand.. and then he giggles when I say the word to him.. cute little brat that he is.. his favorite game today has been throw yourself at Nanny and see if she can catch you.. So far so good I have caught him every time.. but, I am on guard for that one time when he throws and I am not ready to catch..

Chas.. I know you sometimes read my blog.. don't you dare infer from this one that I don't want kiddo here as much as possible.. I do.. I am just old.. love ya girl..

On to other things.. For those that read Ron's blog.. the situation with my ex is still in my head.. I want to call him and tell him what I think of what he did while he was here and what he can do the next time he wants the kids with him while he is here.. I just don't feel like talking to the asshole.. he hasn't even called to let the kids know he made it home safely.. It is funny.. he and I get along great when he stays in Fl.. It is only when I have to deal directly with him that I have issues with wanting to choke the life out of him.. I remember feeling this way when I was married to him as well .. could explain one of the reasons he is an ex huh?.. I am going to talk to him about this summer.. If he cannot keep the rules we have for the kids here 11 months of the year I am really going to have to re think him having them for a month in the summer.. It takes about a month to undo all he does in that month.. I am just tired of going through all that yr after yr.. Chella doesn't seem all that interested in going to FL for a month... Kyle does.. but last year he only stayed 3 weeks and was begging to come home.. I don't want the kids to not have their father.. but I don't know how to maintain the relationship for him.. and that seems like what I have been doing all along.. If they don't call him.. he won't call often.. if I don't make arraingments for the FL thing he won't .. I think there comes a time when he needs to facilitate his relationship with his kids and leave me out of it.. I will never keep him from them or them from him.. I am just tired of being the go between so to speak..

Oh well better get off here before the whirling dervish wakes up from his nap..

Y'all have fun

Morning Conversation Starters

While the driving back and forth to Winchester is a bit tiring..there are some benefits.. one of them being the conversations I have with the kids on the way back to lexington.. this morning we were listening to the radio .. one of our favorite morning shows.. they were talking about a New York case involving mens rights .. The case is about a guy that had a fling and the woman got pregnant.. she wants him to pay child support .. he doesn't think he should since it was a consensual act and they took precautions..

I personally can see this from all points of view.. my ex and I had 18 yrs of marriage.. he raised our 4 kids with me.. and when we split he fought long and hard to get out of paying child support because I wasn't with him..Ron on the other hand never shirked his child support when he and his ex split .. and he took on the responsiblity of my 4 kids when he married me.. actually long before we got married he was supporting not only me but them as well.. anyway.. Chelsea got to talking about what we were listening to.. she feels about the same way I do.. That in some ways women have all the options available to them and men do not.. I dont think men should get away with not supporting their children.. but what about men that want the child when the woman doesn't.. if she decides to abort the man has no right to keep her from it.. if she decides to put the child up for adoption it is sometimes very hard for the father to keep the child himself.. but if the woman chooses to keep the child the man is almost always required to pay support and in cases of one night stands.. the man often doesn't get to be a part of the child's life that he has to pay to support.. I personally have issues with the unequalness of this..

Personally.. abortion would never be an option for me.. adoption I am on the fence about but to me is a viable option if you know you can't take care of a child.. But, I do know if I had ever gotten pregnant by someone one night stand or similar situation..( not that I have ever had a one night stand) I would be willing to take full responsiblity for any consequences resulting from that.. I am an adult.. If I chose to sleep with someone I know the possible outcome.. if I got a STD I would have to take care of the cost of treatment.. If I got pregnant.. I would have to choose what to do about it.. therefore.. making the decision to have sex in the first place I would have to be ready and willing to raise a child if one were to result from that encounter if I chose to keep the baby.. I think that should go both ways.. both parties should look at it from the standpoint of owning the decisions they make.. I think fathers should support their children.. I think men should have some say so in the decision to keep or not keep a child they helped to create.. if we women have the options we do.. then men should have more themselves.. just my take on it..

Chelsea saw it from a Ron point of view.. she said that even tho she doesn't like some of the rules around here.. and she doesn't agree with Ron all the time.. she has a great deal of respect for him.. she said he has gone above and beyond any responsibility to raise children.. My kids are not biologically his.. but his love and support has made him their dad as much as their biological one is.. I think she said it well..

I know there are a million women out there fighting and struggling to get the support they need for their kids.. I also know there are plenty of good men that want to do the right thing.. and there are men that can't even get the chance to be fathers because all the choices have been taken out of their hands.. except the financial ones..

ok.. rambling and ranting over.. time to eat something and wait for Sierra and Jordan to get here for our thrift store date.. Y'all have fun..

Getting a Break

My honey.. sweet man that he is did something wonderful for me.. he probably thinks it was just the practical thing to do.. and doesn't realize how sweet it really is.. He rented me a car for the rest of the week.. Yep that is it.. he knows how tired I have been lately.. he sees the dark circles and the exhaustion at the end of every day.. he definately sees the house isn't up to my usual standard.. and although there is a practical reason for renting the car.. the sweet one far outweighs it.. With the rental I won't have to run to Winchester for the next 2 days in the morning.. and Ron needs his truck Friday for his skills USA thing.. so I won't have to worry about how I am going to get Chris to court and all that.. just in the simple act of looking online and getting me a car for the next couple days he has taken a load of work and worry off my shoulders.. thank you my love..

In other news... Chris just called me, his attorney has been talking to the prosecutor in the case.. they are willing to drop the charge to Assault 2.. which carries 5-10 yrs.. I think he should take it to trial.. I would fight.. but that is just me.. I have sent an e mail to a friend that is an attorney.. asking his advice.. hopefully he will have some insight on this situation.. I don't know what to tell Chris.. I have never been in a situation like this before.. I don't think sending a 19 yr old kid to prison for defending himself is the right thing to do.. I just don't know what the right thing would be and don't have the power to see that the right thing is done in the first place..so pending legal advice.. I will be worrying..

Well I am outta here for a while.. Y'all have fun

Tuesday Running or Not..

Today I still feel like crud.. It seems my family is generous to a fault.. they shared all of their bug with me.. I don't get strep.. I am a carrier of the bug... I am however very capable of getting the flu.. I didn't want the flu.. but here it is.. invading my already worn out body.. oh well.. at least I am on the downside of the thing now... I still feel crappy just to a lesser degree..

This morning I went to my attorney's office and signed the paperwork to bring this wrist thing to a final settlement.. It isn't what I would have liked it to be but it is wearing me down fighting this along with everything else I have to deal with.. this has been going on for over 2 yrs. It is time to do what I can about it and let the rest go.. I don't have the energy to fight it anymore..

"Snickers" is still ill.. My brother in law should be here this evening or tomorrow evening to fix the poor lil thing.. I really need my van back.. I love spending the time with Ron in the morning and in the afternoon driving to and from work.. but it is killing me with all the driving.. and killing Kyle's attendance record with being late every day.. there is just no way we can get Ron to work and get back here in time to get him to school by 8 .. not gonna happen.. and although his tardies are excused.. they don't like it when a kid is late.. I would think with the absentee problem they have in our county they would rather have the kid there 10 mins late than not at all .. but what do I know..

My father in law called me a while ago.. he wants me to come over and re install his ISP.. Ron hasn't had time to make it over there and I can barely breathe.. I told him I would try to get over there this afternoon after I pick up Kyle from school.. I hate taking my germs over there.. but he is going through internet withdrawl.. not good.. so.. If I can stand up without getting dizzy for longer than 10 mins I will head over there.. if not he may have to wait until tomorrow.. I hate for him to not have access.. but I don't wanna drive up a telephone pole trying to get there to fix it either..

Oh yeah.. about waking up at 5:30.. I told Ron he could wake me up every day like that if he wanted to.. I ain't arguing.. I have always been a morning person anyway.. so it works for me.. apparently though it didn't work this morning. He said I just kept sleeping.. don't stop trying honey.. I like waking up with you .. a lot.... ( Sorry Russ) ok.. I'm not really sorry but ya know..

I think I am gonna get off here and wonder down to the drugstore to see if they have the advil cold and sinus since I can't take the dayquil due to the tylenol in it.. I take a prescription pain killer for my wrist every day that is mostly tylenol. I don't want to OD'..

Oh and one more thing.. Honey.. I was reading "I Remember" again this morning.. and I want you to know.. I remember too.. I remember what your eyes looked like that first day when you held the door for me to leave the restaurant.. I remember your smile when you made that comment to Pam.. I remember how you looked when you asked me to come home to you that first time I had to go to FL.. I remember the look in your eyes when you sang " You Had Me From Hello" at our wedding.. I remember all the times you have held me and just let me know that you are there for me.. I remember everything about us.. and I always will.. I love you....

Y'all have fun..

Almost Back to Life..

I went outside this morning complete with pissed off look on my face.. I got up under the dashboard of snickers.... fever and all.. and I pulled every plug I could find under there.. I cleaned them off well.. and plugged them all back securely.. I tenatively put my key in the ignition and turned it.. She came to life.. I turned her off.. and back on again.. OMG!! I think it might be a miracle.. I don't know if it is fixed.. or if my fiddling had anything to do with it.. but I did get to drive to get Kyle in my van.. not that I don't love your truck honey. I just missed the old girl.. anyway.. I am going to start her several more times before Ron leaves in the morning.. Just in case this is a temporary awakening.. I have one of those drive all over the place days planned for tomorrow.. I would just as soon not get stuck in Nicholasville with a broken down van.. not my favorite town in the first place..

Chella does have strep... she called about 12pm.. the nurse said.. "Her throat is red and gooey" wow all the technical medical terms.. it is a wonder I understood that.. anyway.. I took her to the Dr. at 12:45 to confirm the diagnosis.. they didn't say a word about gooey.. but she did test positive for strep.. so she is out of commission for the rest of the school week.. Oh Joy!!!..

I have supper cooking right now.. and I am waiting for about 4:15 so I can leave to go get my sick hubby from work.. hmm all these sick folks.. wonder why the back of my throat hurts and I have a temp of 101.. oh well so goes life in our house..

Y'all have fun..

Sick House.

If you know us and live close.. Don't come visit this week.. Kyle has strep, Ron has something like strep mixed with the flu, I don't feel so hot myself and this morning Chelsea got up with a fever and sore throat.. heck even "snickers" is still sick.. this house is full of germs I am sure.. I know I am gonna go through a couple cans of lysol and pine sol and a bottle of bleach when all this is over.. there is no way I want this bug or bugs to hang around.. Well I mean I'll be cleaning just as soon as I feel like I can make it to the kitchen to get the cleaning stuff..

In other news.. there is no progress on Snickers.. she is still sitting out in the front looking lost and forlorn.. It is not that we don't love her anymore or that I don't desperately need my van back.. we just haven't had the time or energy to fix her.. I am gonna make an effort in getting her fixed today.. If I don't tomorrow will be a repeat of Monday.. I don't know if I can take that much driving for a 2nd day this week.. especially since my wrist is in a funky foul mood and doesn't want to do anything I tell it to do..

Right now I am sitting here watching Pleasentville.. I saw it when it came out.. and I really liked it then.. thought I would watch it again and see if it still appeals to me.. so far it does..

I guess I should get off here and call the parts stores and see what I can do about my lil van.. wish me luck.. Y'all have fun