Playing Catch Up

Today is the first time in 5 days I have checked my e-mail... it is the first time in 24 days I have posted to my blog.. bet ya'll thought you were rid of me.. no such luck.. actually things have been a bit nuts for me lately..

Around the first of December my back went out.. and it went out good.. I lived with the pain for about 3 days and then went to the dr. he put me on drugs.. wahoooo... then about 2 days after the pain in the back went away or mostly away I came down with a terrible cold.. this thing is still holding on a bit.. but when most of the symptoms had gone away and I felt more or less like me I got to thinking ok. everything that could have gone wrong with my body has.. I am done with this mess.. not so.. I went to work on a normal Wednesday afternoon about 2 weeks ago.. I was fine.. I was cutting up with co-workers and customers when all of a sudden I got the worse cramps I have ever had in my life.. I went down to the floor.. the manager on duty at the time sent me home.. I couldn't drive so I called Jordan to walk to the store and drive me home.. when I got home I called the nurse help line through our insurance company and was told that if the cramping got worse or the bleeding which had begun by that time got worse to go to the ER.. neither of those things happened so we went to the doctor the next day.. this led to blood tests..ultrasounds.. uncomfortable exams and ultimately to the diagnosis of "we don't really know what is wrong with you .." they gave me some birth control pills and sent me home.. with a note for work that I can only work 6 hrs per day and cannot lift anything for at least a month.. which my boss took to mean reduce my hours to one day per week.. I am feeling somewhat better now.. the cramps are still a daily part of my life but nothing like the ones that started this mess... My regular doctor has suggested that a partial hysterectomy might be in order.. I asked her if we could do it now.. other than all of that.. Life has been wonderful..

Christmas was great.. I love going to Ron's parent's house for Christmas Eve. There is so much love and joy in that house you can't help but to feel at home.. they have always made me feel like I am a part of the family .. that means so much to me.. My family did Christmas but to them it was always about having the gifts and worrying about not having the money for the gifts rather than enjoying the greatest gift of all.. Having our family together.. I was telling Ron one of my favorite Christmas memories is of the year that Chelsea was born.. She was born on Dec 8 so she was just a tiny little thing that year.. My mom and dad were there.. My kids were there.. My ex and I were getting along.. and most of all my grandparents were both alive then and were at my house for Christmas.. It was one of the first and last times I remember having a real family Christmas with my family.. When Ron and I were still dating I went to my first Christmas at his parents house.. I mostly sat in a corner and watched this amazing family.. they didnt make me feel left out.. I did that on my own .. I wasn't used to a family that really does enjoy being together.. This year I was all up in the middle of everything, sitting next to Ron while he and his brother passed out gifts and teasing all the newcomers.. it is amazing to me how much I feel at home with all of them.. But that is just another gift Ron has given me.. this wonderful family...

There are other things going on around here.. Jordan is looking for a job.. Sierra is sorta looking for a job and mostly thinking that pregnancy is a reason to sleep all day.. Chella is looking forward to getting her drivers permit.. and Kyle is just well.... Kyle..

I really need to keep up with this blog more often.. this playing catch up thing is murder on my poor wrists and fingers... I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and the New Year brings you all the happiness and love you want in your life..

Y'all have fun..

Grandbabies, colds, and Sweet 16

We have got the cutest lil ole grandbaby this morning.. I had to go to Lexington this morning to do some shopping at Sam's.. ok.. we all know I was gonna find some reason to go to Lexington today when we heard last night that Chas had our granddaughter.. shopping was just the first thing I could think of.. anywho.. she is the cutest lil thing.. she looks just like her big brother.. she has a head full of hair .. the tiniest little hands.. but huge feet.. they are gonna spend a fortune on that youngin for shoes.. I wanted to hold her so badly.. it was just wrong for me to have to stand there with this mask thing on and look but not touch.. I have this flu/cold thing going on right now and didn't think it was such a hot idea to be holding a newborn.. so.. I just looked.. that sucked.. but at least I got to see her.. and hopefully this weekend I will be recovered from this bug enough to snuggle my newest lil grandbaby.. We have to go to Lexington this weekend anyway to return the annoying little dog to Chris and Chas anyway.. we have the Brewer again.. Chris is staying at the hospital with his beautiful wife and darlin little daughter until she is released Friday so they needed a dog sitter again.. you know me.. I am a sucker for animals and small children..

Those of you that read Ron's blog have also gotten the news that Sierra is expecting.. We are cautiously excited.. I know she is terrified because of her last experience with pregnancy.. she doesn't want to admit the fear but I can see it there.. I understand how she feels.. but I did tell her.. If I had let my miscarriage be the end of me having kids I wouldn't have had her, Chella or Kyle.. I know that probably doesn't make it easier to keep from worrying but it might help her keep it in perspective... Looks like our family will be growing...

Chella is celebrating her sweet 16 this Friday.. It is hard for me to believe she is that old.. she shouldn't be yet.. hell maybe it is just hard for me to believe I am that old.. I don't know.. Next week her and I will make the appt for her to go take her test to get her driver's permit.. just fair warning for anyone thinking of visiting Mt. Sterling.. Chella will be behind the wheel.. how's that for a scary thought..

Well I guess I had better get going.. Kyle's bus just pulled up.. and I still have to do something about dinner and all that good stuff.. thank goodness I am off today.. I don't think I could do Dollar Tree again today with this cold thing going on..

Y'all have fun..

I Thought The T Was For Therapy?

I think he broke me.. my physical therapist that is.. I don't think my honey is gonna like that much.. you can play with broken toys too well .. anyway.. I didn't go to PT yesterday.. the guy called and asked if I could reschedule for today.. being the easy going person I am (translated to chickenshit) I agreed.. anyway.. I thought I was ready for this today.. that man twisted my back into positions I haven't been in since I was 18.. a 38 yr old back isn't supposed to bend that way.. I know it isn't..he tells me he is trying to get the natural movement back into my spine.. there was nothing natural about the things he did to my back.. He made me lie on the table and do the leg lift thing.. ok..that I can do.. then he came over and grabbed my legs and twisted me like a pretzel.. not so good.. he is about my height and outweighs me by about 80lbs.. all muscle..it wasn't like I could tell him not to bend me that way.. he pretty much could.. Right now I am sitting here wondering how the hell I am supposed to get in there and cook dinner and all the stuff I have to do with my back hurting this way.. I just took my muscle relaxers and pain killer so I am either gonna be higher than a kite and cooking or hurting and cooking.. sounds like fun eh? I am gonna continue with the PT.. hopefully he can help me to build up the muscles around the scoleosis and DJD. degenerative joint disease.. enough to support my spine without pain.. hopefully this pain is a good pain and means that my muscles can be built up.. this is my 7th or 8th trip through PT with this back thing but every time I go through it I get the hope that this time it will work.. the good thing is my therapist is a bit of a hottie so it ain't hard to look at him while he is breaking me.. that is almost as bad as having a hot gyno.. ya know.. I had one of them one time.. he was my dr. when I was preg with Chris 20 yrs ago he was from australia and had the looks and the accent thing going on.. very uncomfortable considering where he was looking.. I was 17 and had no clue about anything.. not good..

Speaking of hot men .. my honey should be leaving school here in a bit.. and making his way home in the wind and the cold that our day turned out to be here in the bluegrass state.. they are predicting the high for tomorrow will only be 35.. I hate cold weather.. my favorite season is winter but I don't like being cold.. talk about being a weirdo.. it is the starkness of the trees and the snow that I love about winter.. not to mention the clothes.. ok lets not mention clothes or I will want to go shopping.. I don't like to clothes shop often.. but I do love thrift stores and clearance racks.. I am the queen of finding a good deal.. ok.. I think my pills just kicked in I have been having a time typing for the last few minutes.. better go lie down..

Y'all have fun..

A New Week Begins

You can always tell when a week has started out normal around here.. Things start screwing up.. This morning.. I took my car to Ron's school to have the automotive students look at it for a 3rd or is it 4th opinion on whether or not I have a blown head gasket.( I have thought so all along was just in denial about it) anyway.. at the school I left my car and took Ron's truck.. I dropped Chris off at work and headed to Lexington, about 5 minutes into the drive, Sierra asked to use my cell phone. That is when I discovered I had left it in my Camaro.. so.. I turned around and drove the 8 or so miles back to the school .. got my phone and we were off again.. we get to Jordan's Dad's house where I was letting them out.. (Whew!!!) and they can't get in.. they knocked and hollered and called Jordan's dad from my phone.. and nuttin.. then they knocked some more.. Jordan looked in the mail box and found a key to the front door.. that got me to thinking I might make a clean getaway after all.. they go to the screen door and find it locked from the inside.. so back to the knocking and pounding.. and me thinking I am gonna have them for the rest of today if not the rest of the week.. finally Jordan's dad comes to the door and lets them in.. I left ( in a hurry) .. just kidding.. anyway.. I called the doctor..I needed to get the dr. to look at my foot.. the one that I broke the toe on.. and to look at my back which doesn't seem to be in the best of moods right now.. they tell me .. come in at 10:40.. So I went to the parts store and got Ron's oil and oil filter so he could get the automotive students to change the oil in his truck.. then I went to this store I have been trying to find for the last 2 weeks.. I found it finally totally by accident.. I did get some good deals on cologne for Ron and perfume for me.. I have a perfume problem.. it is an addiction.. anyway..I went to the doctor.. waited.. waited.. and then I waited a while longer.. they finally called me to the back.. the dr. looked me over, checked my foot, which he declared (bad) his term not mine.. then he checked my back.. he did new x-rays then he asked me what I do for a living.. I told him I work at Dollar Tree.. he asked me if I am on my feet a lot.. I told him yeah.. I am on my feet 6 to 8 hrs a day .. depending on how many hours I am scheduled to work.. then he asked if I lift anything over 20lbs.. I told him some but not many of our boxes weigh that much and yes I do have to lift them from time to time.. he then told me "not this week you don't" and gave me a note to be off work til Saturday and a shot of cortizone in the butt along with a prescription for prednazone and muscle relaxers.. and told me to have a good day.. yeah.. sure.. no problem doc.. as I was waiting for the nurse to come in with the 4 ft needle.. Chelsea's school nurse called me to tell me Chelsea was throwing up continually and had pain in her right side.. I needed to come get her "NOW" .. I told the lady that I couldn't come get her "NOW" I was 40 miles away.. and that I would be there in about an hour.. she then asked me if I didn't have parents .. or relatives that could come get her.. I told her.. "my mom has alzheimers, my dad is incapable of taking care of himself and I have no one else to get her" " If you would like to make her walk home while puking then go ahead... otherwise I will be there in about an hour" she said " Ok that will be fine" I thought she might see it that way..anyway..I rush back to Winchester to Ron's school.. to get my car and the news that yes in fact it does have a blown head gasket.. and to go get the chella.. I leave there.. get chelsea.. and go to the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions.. while I am there I walk next door to my job and talk to Donna, my boss.. I told her what the dr said.. I told her I would be willing to ignore dr's orders and come in.. that I just can't lift anything.. she said no.. I would have to be off until Saturday and then told me she would have to hire someone.. not like she wasn't supposed to do that a month ago or anything but, now that I have to be out it is all my fault she has to.. ok.. whatever.. Chella and I got my meds and headed home.. where it looks like I will be until Saturday.. oh well at least there will be a home cooked meal on the table every day.. speaking of which, I need to get in the kitchen and kiss my honey and get started on supper..

Y'all have fun

Cooking, Cooking, Cooking

My back hurts, My feet hurt, my eyes are dry and itchy, I am covered in cherry juice, apples, cinnamon, sugar and eggs.. but.. I am loving every minute of it.. Kyle and I have been baking pies for tomorrow. He is a great little helper. He does whatever I tell him to do and he tries so hard to make sure everything he does is perfect. Honestly for the most part he is a great little kid..

I love the cooking and bustling around the kitchen for the holidays. I don't turn down any kid that wants to help out but I do love doing it all myself, I don't understand people that have their Thanksgiving dinner catered.. maybe it is just me but one of the things I am most thankful for on Thanksgiving is my family sitting down to this meal that I fixed for them and enjoying themselves.. I don't know how many of the kids will be here tomorrow, 2 of them for sure ( they live here) I wish they could all be here.. I do understand they have lives and plans of their own and things to do with the in- laws and other set of parents. Still it would be nice to have all 7 kids with the 4 grandbabies in tow.. no matter how many are actually here I will be thankful for all of them in my heart. When the 4 I gave birth to were little I loved them coming running through the house hollering we are hungry every 5 minutes on Thanksgiving, one wanted a cherry pie, one wanted pecan, they all wanted pumpkin, they could never wait until it was all done and set up on the table I would always catch one or more of them picking at the food as I put things on the table, I would fuss at them but I loved every minute of it.. these days with them all a bit older, one still wants cherry, one still wants pecan and none of them can have Thanksgiving without one or more of mom's pumpkin pies (yuck) and I still love every minute of it.

Ron and I have only been married 3 years but, his girls are my girls and building new traditions with them and my kids are just a small part of the things I am thankful for.. I love each and every one of his kids as I love my own and I am so thankful they are a part of my life and my heart. Ron gave me his heart, and chooses to share his life with me, he also gave me a precious gift in his beautiful girls in allowing me to get to know and love them as my own.

The pies are all done, Kyle and I are quite proud of our selves, they look really good. Tomorrow I will get up early, get Ron to get the turkey out of the fridge in the garage ( I can't lift the thing) and start cooking the rest of our meal. I am so thankful for the life I have and the people in it.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all and have fun..

The Last Few Weeks

I really need to make myself notes or set an alarm or something to remind me to blog.. I haven't written anything for a while and I am paying for it now.. I have so much on my mind that I don't know where to start or how to get it all out of my head and on to the screen but I am gonna give it my best shot..

Not that it is news to anyone but my stupid car is still not driving me anywhere but up a wall.. now it isn't starting again.. Ron says that he thinks when it did this last time and the guy fixed it that we only fixed the symptom.. I agree with him but the problem is .. that symptom seems to have returned and is now the leading problem.. I don't even know if we can find out what the source of the problem is.. oh well J. is supposed to be down here this weekend to look at is so hopefully he will remember what he did last time and where to look from there to find out what is causing all the problem in the first place..

I am still working at the Dollar Tree.. I like what I do.. I love the people.. not just the ones I work with but my customers as well .. I have always been a people person.. a cubicle works for me just not for very long stretches of time.. anyway.. My main problems with this job are the pay.. which couldn't suck much more if it tried.. and the standing for long periods of time.. Hmmm thinking what can a people person do sitting down.. Ahahhhh Telemarketing.. ok.. just kidding.. not that I haven't done it for a living just that I have a pretty distinctive voice and this is a small town.. I would get lynched.. It would be like.. " hey you sound like the lady that keeps calling during dinner trying to sell us widgets..".. I see that turning out badly..

We all seem to be recovered or in the process of recovering from whatever this plague was that Chelsea just had to bring home to share.. nice of her eh?

We are getting ready to go to a class/party thing tonight.. I am not terribly interested in the subject matter being taught but it will be good to see our friends and talk to people that can talk about other things besides kids, farming, and hanging tobacco..those are the main topics of conversation around Mt. Sterling.. I have learned more about farming while working at the Dollar Tree than I would have had I gone to agriculture school.. it is a bit strange.. but I like the town itself.. and I enjoy small town life.. not so much traffic.. and the people for the most part seem to be friendlier than in Lex.. maybe it is just that they are not in such a rush here and can take time to be nice..

I know I have been sorta a nag and a pain for the last few days.. I guess all this stuff in my head is just building up to a point of frustration.. I have been grouchy and irritable for a while.. I don't like being this way.. I just don't seem to be able to change it .. So Ron.. Kids.. sorry .. I am trying to work through all the crud in my head without whining or sounding like too much of a bitch.. I don't know how to vocalize what is going on in here.. and y'all know I don't ask for any help when I should.. so just bear with me for a bit.. I have gone crazy.. I will return to my normal state of insanity shortly..

Y'all have fun..

Work, Car, School, Grandmothers.. Life in General

I still have a blog??? Hmm I was beginning to wonder if I did.. It has been a bit hectic around here ..

Last Thursday I was at work when my cell phone rang. It was the nursing home where my mom and grandmother live.. The counselor there was calling to ask me when I could come to pick up my grandmother's things since she had been in the hospital for 14 days and would no longer have a bed in the nursing home when released.. My first reaction.. WHAT? When? and why didn't anyone call me to let me know she was even in the hospitial in the first place.. B was astounded that I didn't know.. It seems my uncle had taken some paperwork to the nursing home proclaiming himself medical surrogate for my grandmother.. and asking them to only contact him in case of emergency.. This is the same man that my mom and I caught ransacking my grandparents house the minute they divorced and were on their way to different homes. To say the least I wasn't at all amused or pleased by the fact I had not been notified and that someone they had never met could just waltz in there with an outdated document and assume to take over.. and they just rolled over and said ok.. without a word to me.. the person that is listed as her legal representative on all of her paperwork. When I got off work Ron and I and the kids went to the hospital to visit and to set the record straight they ARE to contact me if there are medical issues with my grandmother.. I don't care if they contact my uncle. Just that they contact me. I don't think that is too much to ask.. They are using the HIPPA regulations of privacy as the reason they didn't contact me. I am the person who signed her HIPPA release in the first place so that dog ain't gonna hunt with me.. ya know..

My car is still on the fritz.. we have determined that there is a bleeder valve that should have been bled when they replaced the water pump and if it wasn't done completly or accurately it could be causing the overheating problem I am still having with it.. Hopefully we can get someone to do the bleeding procedure and that will be the end of problems with this car for a while.. don't get me wrong.. I love my lil car but it is becoming a royal pain in my butt..

If you read Ron's blog you got half the story on the Chelsea absence story.. The 9th grade principal Mr. W. called me back later on that afternoon.. He tells me that he will not excuse Chella's absences due to the fact that he spoke with her teachers and they informed him of Chelsea's poor performance in class and that she isn't a very good student.. He also looked at her record from last year at her old school and saw the absences there and that she had some disclipline problems then.. I told him I thought it odd that her teachers would say that when I just had a conference with them and they assured me Chelsea was doing well and participating in all of the classes and had not been a disclipline problem at all.. What I think is her record from last year is what caused him to be a jerk..He also failed to take in to consideration that even though she missed 42 days of school last year due to legitimate health issues she still managed to not only pass 8th grade but to earn 3 HS credits in the process.. whatever problems she had obviously didn't affect her ability and willingness to do the work then nor does it now. Why not base it on who she is now and how she is doing now instead of the things in the past.. People can and do change especially teenage girls.. geesh.. My answer to all of this was to buy a notebook for each of her teachers to sign daily and record any necessary comments about her attendance, participation and behavior .. I am going to do this for a couple of weeks then request a new conference with her teachers and Mr. W and let him tell me then about her performance. Yesterday's note were resoundingly positive from all of her teachers.. He told me if Chelsea missed any more time at school the COMMITTEE would be knocking on my door.. I told him I hope they do...so it should be interesting because I know she will get sick again this year.

Ron and I are still wonderful and still in love.. that ain't gonna change.. through all of this he has been right here beside me and supporting me in every way... he doesn't even know how much that means to me.. and how much more I fall in love with him every day.. thank you my love.

Oh Yeah.. Today is Kyle's 11th birthday.. when did I tell him he was allowed to get that big? I don't recall giving him permission to grow up on me and I don't appreciate the fact that he is doing it anyway.. We have a tradition in our house that whatever you want for dinner on your birthday you get.. so we are having breakfast for dinner tonight.. Kyle wanted one of my souffle's but I suggested eggs, bacon,sausage gravy with biscuits and pancakes.. he said that sounded good and that as long as it was breakfast for dinner he would be happy and it is a fairly easy meal to cook for me.. so I am happy..

Well I need to get off here , Ron is on his way to get me so I can go to Lexington and fill out the paper work for Grammy to go back to the nursing home today.. This time.. I am going to have the advocacy paperwork notorized right then and there that way there will be no question about who to call if they need to call someone.. Oh yeah.. and my mom is coming home with me this weekend.. that should be a blast.. I know she will love the house..

Y'all have fun..


Update.. I went to the nursing home.. signed all the paperwork.. talked to C the admissions coordinator.. she said in speaking with the legal liason at the center it seems the document my uncle brought in there isn't quite on the up and up so I am designated as the surrogate until the guardianship issue can be solved in court... Works for me.. ok.. I am outta here again time for Ron to get off work and us to head home..

Later..

Long Weekend

It has been a long long weekend.. the court day thing has been interesting but now.. I just wish all these folks would go home.. I had been told that it got crazy down here.. but OMG.. I never dreamed.. I am still trying to figure out how they got all those folks in that small area.. and I was right there in the middle of it a few times.. I did however find out if you have a 3 ft python around your neck while walking through a large crowd.. no one gets in your way.. I took Ava for a walk with me through town.. It was interesting to see all the varied reactions to having a live snake out in public.. she always attracts a lot of attention.. mostly from children.. the parents are the ones that freak about her.. oh yeah and teenage girls..

I didn't get a chance to post about our anniversary last week.. I have been working strange hours.. and when I am home I try to keep the house clean.. make lunches.. cook dinner.. do laundry.. so the blog thing has sorta fallen by the way side a bit. Ron bought me pink daisies for our anniversary.. and he wrote a beautiful poetic blog, letter, whatever you want to label it.. it made me cry of course.. I got him a teddy bear in a bag that said " you are the best part of me".. and I wrote something for him as well.. It always amazes me that when he writes about our relationship he seems to be saying how fortunate and blessed he feels to have me in his life.. I guess I have never been able to convince him that I am the one who is blessed and honored every day just to have him to love.. and to have his love.. I would be lost without him in my life... that is why I didn't write on the card that came with the teddy .. the bag said it best.. Ron is the best part of me..

Today I have to go to work.. yippieee.. can't you feel my excitement?.. I am gonna get dinner put together before I leave.. chella will be able to stick it in the oven for me.. and that will be about all I do today before work.. 7 1/2 hrs of standing on this foot.. I need all the rest I can get this morning.. Ok.. time to get the Chella out of bed and see if we can find her some cars to park..

Y'all have fun.

Tonight is for Cleaning..

Ok.. so I have discussed at length the fact that I am a bit obsessive about cleaning my house and that I can't stand it to be dirty.. y'all know all that.. so you can imagine what I am going through tonight.. the big housewarming party starts at noon tomorrow.. and with me working now and my stupid car going through whatever it is going through ( it was overheating and 362.00 dollars later it still is).. I haven't had much time to be at home this week to clean.. so... that leaves tonight.. I have already scrubbed the bathrooms, vaccumed the carpets, swept the floors, and shampooed the carpets and I even managed to do shopping, take chella to the dr. and cook a half decent dinner ..now I still need to clean the glass around here, mop the floors, and make sure these dogs don't tear anything up.. and do some dusting.. Kyle did some of it earlier.. I still have to prepare some of the food and make sure everything is perfect.. the garage is still a mess.. I have had no help to get that done.. so our 60 or so guests tomorrow will get to see that while we are out by the grill.. but that project is simply something I cannot do by myself..

I know these are our friends and I know they are not the kind to judge me for my garage being a mess.. but I am such a freak about this sort of thing.. I don't like to have anyone in my house if it isn't up to my standards.. and according to my kids.. my standards are a bit high.. so goes life.

The job is going ok.. It is a bit hard on my body.. I am on my feet the whole time I am at work and there is some lifting and moving things that make my poor wrist and right foot holler.. but hey it is a job.. I am not whining about it.. it is better than what I have been doing for the last almost 3 yrs.. Nuttin'.. I hope that one of the other positions I have applied for come through.. but if not.. this job is here and now.. and allows me to feel useful financially around here.. that does a lot for me.. I am used to working and paying my own bills.. When I was married to my ex.. I was usually the only one working and the only one paying bills or even worrying about paying bills.. so I learned to only depend on me.. Ron has been wonderful about the whole thing with me not working .. it has been me that has been worrying and feeling bad about spending money when I wasn't earning any and while I don't make that much.. it is better than nothing at all.. I know that a marriage is about richer and poorer and all that stuff.. I just don't like having to depend on Ron financially as much as I have had to.. it isn't that I don't trust him.. or that he has a problem with it.. It is totally my issue.. and thankfully I don't have to explain it to him.. he knows..

Right now .. I would love to go over there and lay down on the couch and take a nap.. but I know me.. The second I try to lay down my mind will start yelling at me to get my lazy butt up and start cleaning .. so I think I will cut out the middle man and just start cleaning instead..

Y'all have fun..

I Got a Job..

Yep.. its true.. I am employed.. .Not that it is my first choice as a job.. or that it pays much.. but still it is a bona fide job.. I am out of the house a few hrs a day.. and making a little money.. woooohooooooo.. It is at Dollar Tree.. and only part time.. for now.. but I love people.. the work is easy and it is close to the house.. and oh yeah.. did I mention.. It is a job.. Yesterday was my first day and I am still wanting to go back today.. I guess that is a good sign..

The only thing that sux about going in to work today is .. My honey's birthday.. He is 49 today.. and getting sexier every day.. He kids that he is old.. I will never see him as old.. I will never see him as anything other than my sweet wonderful, Poet.. that is just how it is.. I am cooking him a nice dinner.. and leaving his presents on the dining room table.. I won't get to eat dinner with him.. but .. I will get to snuggle with him tonight after work.. that is one of my favorite things anyway.. oh wait it is his birthday.. it is about his favorite things.. still works.. cause I know snuggling is a fave of his..

Well I have a lot of housework to do.. and then cooking dinner early today.. so I guess I will get off the computer and get to it..

Y'all have fun..

Fridges and Chicken & Dumplins

Well it's official.. we have finally moved the last thing out of our old apartment that was ours.. We bought a refridgerator about 2 years ago from my ex and his wife.. we didn't bring it with us when we moved here due to being exhausted from moving all the other stuff and lack of a truck.. Ron's dad has found a tenant for the old place so today I got volunteered to move the fridge.. Ron would have done it.. but he has that wonderful job of dealing with 30 some odd teenagers all day.. I think I would rather lift heavy appliances.. anyway.. I took my car to Ron's school and picked up his truck (SUV) .. I drove to Lexington to pick up Jordan to help me move this thing.. when I got there he and Sierra were of course still sleeping.. after about banging their door down while listening to their alarm clock scream at them they finally got up.. We went down there and loaded the thing in the back of the Bravada.. by we I mean Jordan and Sierra did most of the work.. I am not allowed to lift heavy things.. First I can't do it physically.. and second.. noone will even let me try. I get yelled at if I do.. we got the dang thing in there and I dropped them off at home.. after reminding Sierra to be up in the morning.. she is taking her drivers test tomorrow.. I am sure she will do fine.. unlike her brother Chris ( who still doesn't have his) she can actually drive quite well.. I took Ron's truck back to him fridge and all... he and Chris can unload that bad boy this evening.. I got my pretty lil car back and took my happy butt to the grocery .. this is after numerous complaints this morning of being out of milk.. Not that I don't buy 5 or 6 gallons of milk a week.. We just ran out last night.. but that didn't stop the barrage of complaints.. I got that and some other things that we needed.. and headed home where I am cooking .. I decided on Chicken and dumplins.. Kyle requested them last week.. anyone hungry.. come on over.. I assure you there is plenty.. I always cook enough for an army..

I guess I need to go stir this stuff.. Y'all have fun

My Morning So Far

It went something like this.. Alarm goes off.. I look at the clock..6:08 already?.. ok.. time to drag my lazy butt outta bed.. I stumble to the dresser trying to figure out why I cannot see.. Oh yeah.. My glasses are on the headboard of the bed.. stumble , whack my knee on the corner of the bed, there they are.. I put them on.. the world comes into soft focus.. too early for anything else.. I finally get back to the dresser without further injury and manage to pick up my clothes... then my bladder speaks up.. "BATHROOM NOW".. I wander mostly naked to the bathroom and tell my bladder to shut the hell up.. I am not awake yet..geesh.. bladder subdued I get dressed in the bathroom.. It is too much trouble to go back to the bedroom.. I know there are things in there just waiting for me to trip over them or for them to step out in front of me to hit parts of my body.. I am safer in the bathroom.. unless the bathtub gets evil ideas..Completly dressed and semi alert.. I head for Chella's room to begin the morning ritual of waking the dead.. "Chelsea get up".. I hear moans and grumbles.. "Chelsea.. You have to be at school early this morning.. get up".. more grumbling and moaning.. and a wheeze.."Chelsea... CHELSEA... OK..IT IS TIME TO GET UP!!!!".. she answers.."I'm up".. now I know from years of experience this is not the truth.. she is not up.. she isn't even awake.. it is just her body trying to get me to go away and let her sleep.. It never works.. but she keeps trying.. " Chelsea.. I am going downstairs.. I want you down there in 5 mins".. this time I get a mostly coherent.. " Ok Mom.. I am up.. getting dressed"..

I head downstairs.. where I say good morning to my honey and Kyle.. they are both up and have been for a while from the looks of them.. I head to my favorite spot in the morning.. My coffee pot.. OOPs.. forgot to set up coffee last night.. this presents all new opportunities for me to hurt myself.. the coffee filters are in the pantry..and that door likes to catch my fingers.. the coffee is in the freezer.. and our freezer is on the bottom of the fridge.. great.. that thing likes to hit me in the knee.. and then there is always the water.. it seems to know when it is me and decides I haven't done a good enough job of showering so it tries to wash me all over again.. I get my coffee made without serious bodily harm this morning.. and manage to stay dry.. I am doing well for me.. I look at the clock.. 6:18.. time to get Chris up.. He is easy.. " Christopher,.. time to get up.. ".. I hear sniffling, groaning.. and " ok.. I'm up.." I believe him.. he is usually pretty easy to wake..

By this time I realize Chelsea is still not downstairs.. Ron is heading up to do his morning thing.. So I know he will get her moving.. I sit down to spend a minute with Kyle.. I then realize it is freezing in this house.. Ron tells me to turn on the heat.. I don't know how.. This house has gas space heaters.. which I have no idea how to operate.. I tell Ron.. " I don't know how.." .. he gives me instructions.. I am thinking .. you know as clutzy as I am .. is it really a good idea to have me fiddling with natural gas and flames when I don't have clue what I am doing?.. Of course I can't get the dang thing to work.. Ron says he will do it.. Kyle and I go to the porch to wait for his bus.. by this time it is 6:25 and still no Chella.. the bus comes about 6:35.. I go back inside and there is heat coming from the confounded space heater.. apparently Ron has it working.. ok.. so I am not technically inclinded when it comes to appliances.. Ron goes upstairs , I hear him and Chella having words.. I can't hear what is being said but I know the jist of it.. he is telling her she IS getting up.. she is arguing from the middle of her bed where she is sitting under the blanket that she in fact IS up.. she does this every day.. I don't know why she thinks that we are going to believe her when she says " I am up" when this has been going on for years and we all know she hasn't given a second thought to putting her feet on the ground to get out of the bed... I yell up the stairs.. " You are fixin to get a butt whoopin if you don't get down here NOW".. ( translation for the hick impaired) (" I am going to spank you") yes..I tend to get a bit redneck when I get ticked off about something.. anyway.. Ron comes down.. still, there is no Chella.. by this time it is 6:39.. Ron comes over and is leaning on the back of the sofa.. he says.. " I am wondering if I should go to work now or wait for the beating".. I told him to do as he wished.. finally the brat came downstairs.. I brought her into the living room.. by this time it is 6:48.. I am not a happy camper.. it shouldn't take 40 mins to get out of the bed.. I tell her " Ok.. you will go to bed 1/2 hr earlier this evening.. and for every word of protest you make about this you will lose another 15 mins" her reply.. OK.. I think she's got it.. then I ask her if she would prefer her butt whoopin now or after school.. to this she protests.. I told her.. " It is gonna happen.. the reason you keep doing the not getting up thing is that you haven't had many consequences to deal with when you don't get up on time.. Now you do".. she grumbled something.. I told her to go eat.. she left..

Ron and Chris by this time are ready to leave.. I kiss Ron good bye and tell Chris to have a good day and they are off.. I go back in.. it is too damn cold to be out there long.. when I get in the house.. it is silent.. ahhhh just the way I like it.. but I find a definate chill coming from the chair where Chella has planted herself.. She isn't speaking to me apparently.. then she tries a new tactic.. " Mom.. I can't go to school early today.. I didn't get a note from Mrs. M.. and you have to have one to get in the school this early".. To which I tell her.. " Sorry kiddo.. but that ain't gonna work either.. I talked to Mrs. M after you left the conference and the school knows she has classes early on Tues. and Thurs. all you have to do is be there and she will meet us at the door".. dang another Chella bubble busted.. she tries to argue.. I say the 2 words that let my children know the subject is done and it would be best to hush.. " I'm DONE".. The silent treatment returns...

We leave around 7:20 she gets to school on time.. still not speaking much.. works for me.. I like quiet..she will talk when she wants something.. of this I can be sure.. she gets out of the car .. looks back at me.. " I love you mom" .. I tell her I love her too.. and I watch her walk to the front of the school..

I got back home, let the dogs out and sat down to blog.. so there ya have it.. my morning so far.. how is your day going?

Y'all have fun

Breakdown Anyone?

I am trying really hard to not jump on the break down bandwagon around here.. but they are pushing me towards it quickly..

Chella has seemingly lost her mind.. Lately she has been in a bit of a mood.. I don't know if it is moving, new school, being away from her boyfriend or just that time of month all month.. but it seems like everytime I turn around her and I are at it about something or another perhaps it is just plain old teenage angst... who the hell knows..

Kyle is the one that is making me the craziest though.. He has always been a great student.. he gets good grades and is usually somewhat of a teacher's pet.. ever since we moved here he has had one complaint after another.. I took him to the doctor.. she gave him meds for his stomach.. and last week after that he seemed to be fine.. This morning I got him up... he got dressed and made himself breakfast like he always does.. I got dressed and came down stairs.. he and I headed out to the porch to wait for the bus as usual.. he walked to the bus stop..and the next thing I know he is running back home crying his little eyes out.. I tried to ask him what was wrong.. he didn't seem to know.. I asked him if something scared him.. It is still dark when he goes to the bus stop so who knows.. he said nothing had.. I asked him if someone is picking on him at school.. again.. he said no.. he just kept crying and eventually cried himself to sleep.. I don't know what to do at this point.. I have contacted the counselor at his school and she and I are formulating a schedule for him to talk with her.. I hate keeping him home from school with this but I don't really see how he can learn anything while crying all day.. Kyle is a bit immature in that he is the baby of the family and has been treated as such.. but he has never acted like this.. I am worried about what is causing this.. as well as what impact this is having on his schooling.. I don't want him to fall behind because of missing school and wind up failing the 5th grade.. he is too smart for that..

I have some theories about this situation.. but nothing based in fact that might offer a clue as to his behavior.. the only place he seems to want to be is at home with me.. One theory of mine is this.. the last major move in his life was when I was still with my Ex and we moved up to KY from FL.. Kyle was 6 at the time.. a few months after we moved my ex and I split up and it pretty much turned the kids lives upside down for a while.. perhaps he is afraid that something like that will happen again.. Ron and I have talked about this.. and while there are no signs or signals that would trigger Kyle to think Ron and I are having problems (we aren't) there weren't any with my Ex either.. we shielded the younger kids from a lot of what was going on.. especially Kyle.. to him .. Ronnie and I were just mom and dad and things were fine.. and then to him I am sure.. out of the blue daddy is moving out of the house and things were changing way too fast for a 6 yr old to keep up with..

Ron and I have given the kids a secure home.. and we show them just by being us that we are committed to each other and love each other totally.. but who the heck knows what a 10 yr old is thinking..

Ron has his theory too.. that kyle is just going through something and is using this as a reason to stay home and that if he is allowed to stay home he shouldn't have the priviledges of TV, playstation and all the fun stuff he usually does at home.. I do agree that if Kyle can't seem to go to school.. then he shouldn't get rewarded for staying home.. I don't agree that this is a ploy..It is always such a difficult thing to decide whether to be strict and force an issue or to be soft and mushy about it.. I don't want him to miss school.. I don't want him to fall behind.. I don't want to push him and I don't want to not push him.. what are ya supposed to do in a situation like this.. ya know.. even the dang toaster came with an instruction guide.. do you think we could come up for one for kids?

Well I think it is time for me to get off here and see what I can get into around here before I have to go to my 2pm conference at Chella's school.. ain't having kids a blast a minute?

Y'all have fun

Doing the Camaro Happy Dance

I got my car back, I got my car back.. ok.. I will stop being 3 .. but I am so happy.. a month and a bit over 800.00 dollars later I have my car.. my pretty little white baby...

I picked up the transmission for it on Thursday and took it to the guy who has had my car for the last month.. he told me he would try to get to it on Friday.. I was like ok.. I haven't had it for this long.. I don't think a couple more days is gonna kill me.. Yesterday Ron called me to tell me the guy hadn't had a chance to work on my car.. I was like.. ok.. that is about my luck.. then he tells me the reason the guy hadn't had a chance is that his son was working on it and that it would be ready by 4:30.. I left here to get Ron from work.. on the way I stopped to pick up Chella who had pulled a muscle thursday night and it caused her pain while doing pushups in ROTC.. they called me to come get her.. anyway.. we got to the school and bs'ed around a bit til it was close to time to go get my car... we got to the transmission shop about 4:20 and there was no camaro in sight.. we figured they were test driving it.. Ron went on in the shop.. I sat down for a smoke.. and while I was sitting there .. this cute little white camaro pulled up in the lot.. there he was.. my baby.. I was just happy to see him running.. Ron and I paid the bill and I left to go pick up Chris from work.. I got my car up to about 60 on the back road.. ran perfectly after a few minutes of spitting and sputtering from not running so long.. we got Chris and headed home.. there is a good stretch of interstate between Winchester and Mt. Sterling.. I got him up to 80.. this was good.. then I took the back road home.. it is this winding curvy road.. my lil car loves that sorta thing.. he did well.. I am so happy.. I have my car back.. I have my house.. I have DSL.. dang sorta spoiled ain't I?.. the best thing I have though is my honey, my wonderful children and great friends.. the rest is just the bonus.. well I am off here..

Y'all have fun..

Job Hunting and Doggie Romance

I am beginning to wonder if I have some sort of strange BO or if I dress funny.. or if I am just funny looking or something.. I have put in applications.. I have followed up on them.. I have gone on interviews.. I have done just about everything I know to do to find a job.. and still .. nothing.. I am frustrated .. irritated and otherwise annoyed at this trend.. I know I will find a job.. I know this will pass.. but grrrr in the mean time it is making me outta my mind..

Part of the problem is my experience and education..It seems like I have too much of both for just about any job in this small town.. I want a job.. I am not picky .. ok.. well I don't want fast food.. but other than that I am not picky.. the thing is that most employers feel that I am applying for jobs that are not up to my education and experience and they are afraid that if they hire me I will leave as soon as something in my field comes up.. I can't convince them otherwise..

Right now I would be happy to find a job part time.. just a couple hundred bucks a week to help with utilities and such.. just so I can feel like I am helping out financially around here.. and part time would allow me to still be able to take care of the house and spend time with the kids and my honey still..

Ok rant over.. other than the frustrating job hunt.. I have just about gotten the house where I want it for now.. I need to get one of the male type folks around here to carry a table in from the garage for me to set up in our bedroom so we can set our computer up in there.. we are getting our DSL today.. so I might get a break and get one of the work at home telecommute jobs I have been trying for .. ok... enough about jobs.. or I will go off on another rant..

I am trying to breed my dog to another Mini Dachshund.. she doesn't seem to like him that way... he is a bit bigger than her and squashes her to the ground every time he tries.. I think she is trying to tell him she would rather just be friends.. he follows her around .. he brings her food.. and she tries to let him.. but not so much.. she is like I don't think so.. maybe a candle light dinner and some wine and he will be able to convince her..

Well my coffee is done and I need to be putting my energies into job hunting.. Y'all have fun..

Moved in and Settling

Where to start? Seems like I have been away from blogdom forever.. there has been so much going on around here with the move and the kids starting new schools, job hunting, no sleeping due to the bed from hell, and sick children that if I get a spare minute to comb my hair I consider it a good day..

The move is going well.. we finally got everything out of the apt and into the new house.. well some of it is in the garage.. but that stuff doesn't count..I have the house in a reasonable sense of order.. by nature I am a very orderly person.. I believe in everything having and being in it's place.. My house is starting to look like my house.. I love it.. for the first time in my life I can do what I want in my house and make it my own.. this is so cool.. Oh yeah Angie.. I am deliriously happy.. thanks for the comment...

Labor Day weekend was a blast.. there was a surprise b day party for one of the usual suspects as Retro girl calls us.. and she and her hottie Dark were in town.. we got to have lunch with them and then went out for some Karaoke ... We headed out early.. It is a bit longer drive now days for us to get home.. but worth it.. Labor Day we had a cook out.. we had 6 of the 7 kids over with their other halves and children.. it was a blast.. we had kids everywhere.. running up and down the stairs.. the youngest of the grandbabies spent most of the afternoon trying to convince some adult that he did in fact need a cupcake to ensure his survival.. that didn't work out well for him.. but he kept trying..

Both kids have started their new schools....now if I could just keep them there.. they have both been sick.. Chella had a headache Friday and went to the nurse to get a tylenol.. the nurse insisted on taking her temp.. it was a low fever but she had one.. policy in this district is if a child has a fever of 99 or more.. they go home.. and cannot return to school for at least 24 hours.. how much fun is that.. Kyle has come down with a case of the pukies.. I am not sure if his problem is phyisical or emotional.. he has never had a problem with school before.. he has always loved it.. but he seems to be having some adjustment problems here.. I know it will take time.. I am being patient.. but the school and I have decided he needs to stay in school.. so when he went to the nurse this morning she sent him back to class.. she is going to talk to his teacher about maybe a bit of extra attention until he settles in.. and I am working closely with the teacher, counselor and nurse.. we can get him over the hump I am sure..

I am trying to find a job.. Still.. it should be easier now that we are settled in one place and know we are gonna be staying for a while.. a 30 yr mortgage kinda implies we are staying ya know.. so I think I will get off here and see what Career builders has to offer before I start in on another day of trying to get this house in my kinda order...

Y'all have fun..

Finishing Touches

Saturday is MOVING DAY!!! finally.. yep.. we are really closing on the house tomorrow.. there were times I have wondered if we were ever going to really close on this house.. I didn't exactly give up on worrying about it.. I basically just put it in God's hands and left it up to him.. if it is going to happen it will if it ain't then it wasn't supposed to.. I can't wait to get moved in and decorate our house.. wow.. I like the sound of that.. our house...

My birthday was wonderful..Ron and I got to spend some time alone on the way to Louisville.. we got to talk.. that is always something I love.. We just enjoy each other so much it doesn't matter what we are doing we always have a good time.. the visit with his brother was good.. I like Ron's family.. they are a great bunch of people.. On the way home my best friend of 16 yrs from Florida called me .. Mauritha and I are so close that we never feel like we are 1000 miles apart.. it is like we just pick up wherever we left off every time we talk.. and we talked the whole way home.. she loves to hear how happy I am.. and I am trying everything I know to talk her into coming up here.. at least for a visit if I can't convince her to come up here for good.. When we got home Chella had cleaned the house.. It looked great.. Kyle had gone shopping and had presents for me.. he got me exactly what I wanted.. a bath set.. you know the kind with bubble bath and lotion and body spray... the kind that people only buy for teenage girls.. yep .. that is what I wanted.. My 2 hr baths are my pamper me time.. so it was a great gift.. there were gifts from the other kids as well.. all meant for me to pamper me.. gee my kids know me well.. I don't get a chance to do it often but when I do.. they have me all set up with everything I could want.. Ron and I finally got to go to bed around 11:30.. and the cuddle time was the perfect ending to my wonderful birthday.. thank you Honey.. Kids.. that includes you Justin.. for making my day special.. y'all are a great bunch of folks.. I love you all..

I guess I should be in the kitchen finally packing it up.. I never pack my kitchen until the last thing.. I love to cook and I know me .. I would be unpacking and re packing all the time trying to find this pan or that pan until I drove myself insane.. it is just easier to pack the kitchen last.. I was talking to our realtor this morning.. she says the kitchen is the first thing she packs.. that way she doesn't have to cook until they move.. wonder if I could try that with the washer and dryer.. Laundry is my most hated chore...ok.. I have stalled long enough.. I have things to do..

Y'all have fun...

Another Year Older..

I am 38 today. woohooooooo... Actually .. I don't think much about how old I am.. I really don't feel much different than I did when I was 21.. well at least most of the time.. when I was younger I was not as settled as I am now.. Not as comfortable with change as I am now.. not as able to deal with stress and pick my battles as I am now.. but I still have the same energy if not more than I did then.. I still have the urge to go get a pair of roller skates and go skating every now and then.. I still try to stay up late on weekends and sleep half the day the next day.. I am happier now than I was then.. I don't have the hangups I had then and I have learned to like myself a lot more than I did then.. I think that is what most people that get down about their age forget.. you don't have to be old.. you don't have to act old.. and you still get the benefit of knowing yourself better and the wisdom of all the things you have done in life so far to carry you on..

I don't have any plans to do much of anything today.. I am going to visit my grandmother it is her birthday too.. she is 93.. I feel so fortunate to still have her... Ron and I are taking a small road trip this evening to visit his brother. I really don't want anything for my birthday.. I have just about everything a woman could want.. I have a husband that adores me and lets me know.. I have children that love me and sometimes even listen.. I have wonderful friends.. All in all I am quite fortunate and happy with my life.. I could use a job.. and it would be nice if my car hadn't broken down.. but it will all work out.. that is another thing about getting older.. you learn that not everything is the end of the world.. that is a good life lesson..


I think I will get off this computer and spend some time with my sick youngin.. Kyle has a terrible cold and is home from school for the 2nd day.. I love the lil monster.. but whew can he make ya crazy..

Y'all have fun

Almost Employed

Well almost started a new job Monday.. I got the furniture sales position.. so there I was bright and early (9:30) on Monday morning all decked out in my official working woman suit... I walk through the doors to my new job and there is the guy that would be my boss standing there to greet me.. I say good morning.. he walks over to me and puts his hand on the middle of my back and starts rubbing my back and shoulders while saying good morning and how lovely I look.. I backed away from him and told him I didn't want him to touch me that it made me uncomfortable.. He immediately says.. "I didn't mean anything by it" still being polite I assured him I didn't think he did mean anything by it but still I would appreciate him not touching me all the same.. He then starts in about me wearing the support shoe for the still not healed broken toe.. I reiterate to him that I had indeed told him about the necessity of the shoe and that he had ok'ed it.. he told me the job required a lot of standing I told him I knew that hence the shoe.. he then says " I don' t think this is going to work out" ... by this time I am pissed... I tell him " ya know what.. Neither do I" and walked out the door.. By the time I got back home I was really pissed.. I called his boss and told him what had happened.. he called me back later expressing his sincere apologies and asking that this not go any further.. I haven't decided yet if it should..

Then there was Tuesday.. I get in my lil car to go to Mt Sterling to check some things out.. Chella, Kyle and I are just crusing along at 65-70mph when I hear this strange sound under the hood.. it only lasted a second or two.. I drive along another 1/4 mile or so and all hell breaks loose under the car.. there was a grinding.. and a flapping and a squealing... I touched the clutch and the whole car locked up in the middle of the exit ramp .. I am thinking this couldn't possibly be a good thing.. I finally eased the car off the ramp in first gear and get to the nearest store.. I called Ron.. he arranged for a tow truck to come get us... My car is now in the shop in Winchester.. It isn't dead.. but it is seriously in intensive care.. it seems the transmission is shot.. ya know when you say transmission is shot and Camaro in the same sentence the shop says take out your wallet, checkbook, credit cards and sign over your first born male child... hey there is a plan.. I could sign chris over.. ok ok.. I'm just kidding.. mostly

Other than all this and several job interviews and chella and Kyle going back to school it has been a mostly quiet week.. well quiet for around here..

I am looking forward to this weekend.. I will have my honey home for 2 whole days.. we have a party thing to go to on Saturday..It should be a good weekend.. heck we might even get to move.. who knows..

Y'all have fun..

Ron and The Day Off..

Those of you that know me are not going to believe this.. but I have an entire day off.. well sorta.. I don't have anyone to take anywhere nor do I have any appointments to be anywhere.. for me .. this is a holiday.. I still have Kyle at home.. but he is pretty self sufficient.. and I still have cleaning and dinner cooking to do.. but otherwise I have nothing scheduled.. I know this can and probably will change at some point today.. but for now I am just gonna enjoy the feeling of not being rushed, hurried or otherwised hassled to do anything for anyone..

Yesterday after reading my blog Ron was teasing me that I didn't mention his singing of the national anthem.. I assured him this was not an oversight on my part nor was I neglecting him.. I was blogging in a hurry yesterday and I felt talking about Ron should be given the time he deserves...and sometimes I don't have my words in order if I am in a hurry hell half the time I don't have them in order if I am not in a hurry but that is another story..

I was standing behind the dugout waiting for Ron to sing Monday night.. He was about 50 ft in front of me.. I was watching him, as I often do.. I just like looking at him.. anyway... he was pale and I could see the jitters from where I was standing.. then.. they announced him.. he walked out to the spot where he was to sing.. When he started singing I could see his body relax.. singing for him is as natural as breathing to the rest of us.. he has such a magnificent voice.. it is deep and rich and at times when he is singing the emotion he makes you feel can be a bit overwhelming.. when he finished I heard 1000 or more people clap and holler.. I think they heard me over all of them.. While, from the moment I became his wife I have always had a great deal of pride in my husband.. I think Monday night I was gonna pop if I had felt any more proud of him and of being his wife.. we have a sort of tradition of kissing each other after we finish singing.. this was no different.. he didn't make it half way back to where I was before I tackled him and told him how wonderful he was.. the problem with Ron is there are not enough words to describe his singing.. heck there aren't enough to describe him period.. everything he does he does well.. from being a friend and husband .. to singing and photography and many other gifts.. If I didn't love him the way I do I might be a bit jealous of his talents.. actually that is another thing about him.. people don't get jealous of the talents and abilities he possesses.. they just take it as a normal part of Ron being Ron.. I think it is because he wears his personality so well..He doesn't seem to realize how extraordinary he really is.. It is impossible to not like him.. and for me.. I couldn't think of a world that didn't include me loving him.. Take a bow baby.. you are wonderful..

OK.. time to get some food in me.. I don't eat much but when I want food I have to have it right NOW!!! Y'all have fun..

It's All About Time..

Have you ever noticed that when you don't have a job and you really need one they are harder to find than the city of Atlantis? Then when you find a job, everybody wants you to come work for them.. what the hell is all that about? I got the sales position at the furniture store... I actually knew I had it after the first interview... but I digress.. since then I have gone on another interview and have yet another one today... the girl (20 yr old) at the last one told me she wanted me for a job at the high school in front of Ron's school but that position doesn't open for another week or so... The one today is the one I want.. It is a combination customer service/clerical/ sales position.. something I'm very good at.. multi-tasking.. all you mom's know what I mean.. I don't feel like I am doing much of anything unless I am doing a little bit of everything.... this job will allow me more challenges than either of the other two... granted it is a little less money.. but when we move this one is only about a mile or so from the house.. that is a big bonus for me..

Speaking of doing a little bit of everything... Already this morning I have been taxi driver, mom, wife, and I think traffic cop on the way to Winchester.. I am at Ron's school right now.. he isn't here he is at the high school for a continuation of yesterday's meetings and such before the big day tomorrow.. ( first day of students) I came here to kill an hour or so before my interview and to change from my old ratty tee shirt and shorts to my pretty purple power suit... I can go from soccer mom to executive in about 3 mins. flat.... from just woke up hair and face to neatly brushed and full makeup.. whew.. that is something else that bugs me.. I hear about women all the time that spend an hour or more putting on makeup.. what the hell is taking you so long.. what exactly are you doing that requires that much time.. and further more how do you get that kind of time to spend on yourself in the first place.. give me an hour and I will pack a lunch, cook dinner, make coffee, vaccuum the floor, start a load of laundry, and get dressed with full makeup.. Is it just me.. or do all moms learn the art of quick change out of necessity?... ok.. it is about 20 mins til I have to leave for my interview.. think I will look around and see if Ron's class needs cleaning.. I have plenty of time for that... wish me luck..

Y'all have fun

Gearing Up

Things seem to be gearing up around here..

Ron has returned to work.. that sux out loud.. but oh well, somebody has to pay the bills.. speaking of which.. I had my second interview at a furniture store yesterday.. the manager all but told me I have the job.. the earning potential is great.. the only drawback I can see so far is it is a sales position.. while I am great at sales.. burnout happens fast in that field.. I also have a job interview today in Winchester.. If I am offered this position I may take it over the furniture store one just because of the field it is in.. Tech Support.. that is something I know well and won't burn out on.. even if it pays less it would be worth it to me to have a job I know I am gonna want to stay with longer.. and it is closer to the new house than the other one..

Speaking of the new house.. We haven't heard a thing yet about not closing this Friday.. I don't know if that is good news or bad news.. I am gonna take it as no news is good news.. but that is just how I am.. I need to finish packing but honestly I don't think there is room for any more boxes in this house.. Hopefully, we will hear something positive in the next day or so and give me incentive to finish packing...

The kids are getting excited about going back to school.. how weird is that.. I think the thought of new schools and new friends has more to do with the excitement than the actual school thing .. Chella is worried about Kyle .. he may have to ride a bus this year for the first time.. she ain't liking that idea.. Kyle is the baby of the family and has always been treated as such.. I had to convince her last night that in fact the child is NOT a 3 yr old.. he will be 11 in Oct.. I still think of him as a baby at times too.. but I don't think him riding the bus will be too tramatic for him to handle at this stage of his life..

Today will be the second attempt at getting Sierra and Jordan's car legal.. apparently last Friday the title was signed in only one of the two places it needed to be signed and we have to get the second signature today.. yee haw.. don't I sound thrilled.. I have been trying to call them for the last half hr to make sure they will be ready when I am.. if they aren't.. too bad.. I do have a life..

My kids ( the grown ones especially) seem to think that I have no life outside of taking them places or doing things for them.. for some reason they missed the memo on the fact that they have made the decision to move out and be adults.. they think they can have the best of both worlds.. they have their freedom from mom's rules and mom at their beck and call all at the same time.. all I can say for you guys is .. Time's they are a changin'.. When I go back to work, wherever that might be I will not be able to run for them all the time.. further more.. they wanted to be adults.. so it is time to be adults.. when this car thing is over.. don't call me for rides.. don't ask if I can take you here or there.. NO!!!.. I know I sound bitchy.. but dang.. there are days that I spend 7 or more hours just doing things for everyone else.. and while I will do everything in my power to help my kids.. I am just too dang old for all this running all the time.. I would love to go to work.. come home.. cook dinner.. and spend time with my hubby and the 2 kids I have at home .. instead of running here and there.. trying to squeeze in dinner.. rarely seeing Ron til after dark.. and saying a quick hello to Kyle and Chelsea in passing.. it isnt fair to them and it isn't fair to me.. ok.. Rant Over!! well for now anyway..

Well time to get off here and clean a bit.. until time to start running for the kids again that is..

Y'all have fun..

Slow Down .. Take a Deep Breath

Whewwwwwww.. It has sorta been the week from hell.. Sunday our beautiful, sweet, goofy Malcolm died.. It broke my heart.. he died in my arms.. I did everything as did Ron that we could think of to save him.. poor guy just couldn't hold on.. I personally think he may have had an underlying health problem that we weren't aware of.. but thinking that doesn't help when I look around the house and he isn't here.. I miss the big guy...I really loved that goofball.. He will be missed for a long time..

His passing put a down note on the rest of the week.. I have been packing a lot.. not much fun under the best of circumstances let alone when you start off the week grieving..

Right now there are close to 50 boxes stacked in various places around the house.. I didn't know we had this much stuff.. good lord I think we are way over due for a huge-mongous yard sale.. There is still the bathroom and the kids room left to pack along with all the stuff we are still using .. I don't remember us having all this when we moved in and I know we haven't shopped that much.. Me? shop? buy things we don't need and put them in places where I will forget we have them until moving time? .. Nah...

Then there has been the car drama.. Sierra and Jordan bought a car from another set of our kids and son in law.. we have been most of the week trying to help them get it legal and all that happy horse manure.. today was supposed to be the day.. we got all the necessary items together got them signed.. rushed down to the tag office.. only to find out there was one more place the title needed to be signed.. oh well there is always Monday...

The house.. oh hell I don't even want to talk about the house.. I know things happen for a reason.. but I was so ready to get this over with.. It will take me the next month to get unpacked.. and somewhere in there Ron will be going back to work.. the kids need to get school supplies and clothes.. and registered in school.. I just didn't want to have to do all of it at the same time.. I'll live.. just needed to vent a little..

Ron is now out in his truck waiting on me to get my skinny lil butt out there so we can sing.. so I guess I will do just that..

Y'all have fun..

The House.. The Toe.. The Lack of Sleep

Whew.. it has been one of those days.. Nothing bad.. just long and tiring on 4 hrs sleep.. Ron and I couldn't sleep last night.. well I tried to sleep..but my poor honey kept tossing and turning.. and then he tried turning and tossing.. and when those didn't work he tried flipping and flopping.. all to no avail.. and in a waterbed the other person feels every movement .. I am usually the tosser and turner in the bed.. I don't know how the poor man sleeps with me every night..

I am at least more comfy in the bed now days.. the boot cast came off Friday.. wooohooo.. I now have a smaller more streamlined looking shoe cast.. The doc told me I can work my way back into my regular shoes over time.. but no 4 inch heels.. I told her.. but those are my regular shoes.. and she still wants to do surgery on the toe and put a steel pin and plate in there.. I just need to find 8 weeks that I can be off my feet.. I am thinking this surgery will be scheduled somewhere around half past never..

The house thing is moving right along.. Ron signed the loan papers tonight to sign away the next 30 yrs of his life.. I didn't have to sign them .. thanks to my ex my credit sux.. so .. we just did it in his name.. which is fine with me.. you know the whole what is his is mine and what is mine is mine thing.. just kidding..

I think I am gonna get off here and get naked.. and.. go my happy butt to sleep..

Y'all have fun..

I Haven't Disappeared.. Honest..

I know some of y'all might have thought I really had disappeared this time.. heck..some of ya might have even hoped it.. no such luck.. I am still around.. I just haven't had much blog time lately.. There has been toe business, house business, kid business and most of all Ron business.. When my sweet honey is at home.. I don't get online much... partially because I usually just don't care to.. and partially because my wonderful hubby is a COMPUTER HOG.. oh.. sorry did I shout?.. anyway.. I digress..

The toe news really isn't news.. I am still in this boot thingy at least until Friday.. hopefully it will come off then.. this thing is making me truely crazy.. It is heavy, hot and annoying to keep on all the time.. and the small cast I have for night time simply isn't comfortable..Ron fixed it for me so that I can at least wear it.. when the lady made the dang thing she had it going all the way up to the bend in the back of my knee.. I couldn't even bend my leg and the thing was scratchy.. Ron cut about 4 inches off of it and smoothed the edges for me.. ain't he a sweety..

The house thing is moving right along and with any luck I will be unpacking boxes in our new house by the end of the month.. closing is set for July 28th.. the home and termite inspection is complete.. we are waiting for a response from the owner on the things that the inspector says need to be done in the house..things like termite treatment..(non negotiable).. the faucet in the bathtub for the hot water ... again .. (non negotiable) .. the insulation that isn't up to what it is supposed to be.. and a few other minor things that while are not deal breakers are negotiation points.. I can't wait to get in there and out of Lexington..

Kid business has just been the usually running around doing this that and the other thing.. Chris work .. Chella spending the night 2 counties over and having to go get her.. then her and J having issues.. those sorts of kid business things..

The Ron business has just been that he has been home for the last 2 weeks.. I have gotten to spend most all of the day with him.. Yep.. I am spoiled now.. and he is back at work this week.. how much does that suck.. I will have to get used to him being back at work again.. but it is only for a week this time then I have him at home for another 2 weeks before he goes back for the school year.. that will be another 2 weeks of spoiling.. and oh yeah.. COMPUTER HOGGING.. by him.. oops there I go again.. yelling.. well my honey just walked in the door so I think I will get off here and spend sometime with him.. and turn over the puter of course..

Y'all have fun..

What Happened to This Week???

It has been one of those weeks that you can't decide if you have really done anything or not.. I know I must have accomplished something this week.. but I'll be danged if I can remember what it was.. Ron has been home all week.. that tends to make me a bit lazy.. yeah let's see.. clean house or cuddle for as long as possible in the bed with my sexy hubby.. tough choice eh?.. there has been the usual amount of running Chris back and forth to and from work.. and the normal Chella drama..nothing major.. just the whole "I'm bored " thing that all teenagers do.. I did go to the Dr. last friday for my toe.. he tells me I am going to be in this boot cast thing for "AT LEAST" 3 more weeks.. then the fun will begin.. I have a bone spur on this toe and severe arthritis in the joint.. he compared my toe to that of an 80 yr old woman.. how's that for an ego boost.. anyway.. I have to have this bone spur removed.. it has been there for a long time and yeah from time to time has given me some trouble.. but with this break and the arthritis it is only getting worse so it is time to shave the dang thing off with a bone shaver.. doesn't that sound pleasant? All this really means is that I will be in a cast for most of the summer.. including during the time we are moving into our house.. should be lots of fun..

Oh yeah.. great news on the house.. we accepted the counter offer on the house.. the paperwork is in the process.. hopefully we will be moved in and able to relax a bit before Ron and the kids go back to school.. we, well I am planning a huge housewarming party.. as soon as possible after we move in and get organized.. should be a blast.. I actually have the menu planned..ok so I like to plan ahead..

Chris has a court date today at one.. the good news is this should be one of those in and out type things.. the bad news is it never works out that way.. also Ron will have to drive today.. I can't drive his truck with my boot cast on and my poor lil Camaro is ill.. starter went out on it yesterday at Taco Bell.. I stopped for Sierra to pick up dinner from Jordan .. turned the car off.. and when I got back in it.. Nuttin.. just nuttin.. I called Ron .. he called his brother in law.. the mechanic.. he came to meet me in the parking lot of Taco Bell.. and tells me.. Yep.. it's the starter.. being a stick shift we push started it so I could get home.. The brother in law will be here Sunday to get my baby back on the road for me.. but until then if I want to go anywhere I have to get Ron to take me.. not that I have a problem going anywhere with Ron.. I am just way independent and it makes me a bit nuts to not be able to drive myself.. oh well it is only til Sunday..

Well I guess I better go look for "Court Clothes" y'all have fun..

Words

Something kept repeating in my head last night as I tried to go to sleep.. so I thought I would share .. nothing like keeping your friends awake too.. anyway..

What was on my mind was the power of our words.. words can have such an impact on people .. they can bring a smile to someone needing one.. they can brighten the day of a total stranger.. they can convey the love one feels for another whether that love be platonic, parental, or to the one you share your life with.. they can be a positive influence on the world at large.. I personally choose to think that is why we were given the gift of verbalization and the ability to translate that into the written word..

Words can also be used to hurt, demean, attempt to embarass, and for all sorts of negative influences on our world.. while most of us can dismiss the people that say words or write them for evil intent this is not the worst way words can be used as a weapon.. the worst way to me is for someone to take the innocent or non hurtful words of another and twist them to suit some personal agenda.. it demeans not only the person they are trying to hurt but themselves, this perversion of words more often than not causes not the furtherment of their agenda but the distruction of their own hearts eventually.. It is often hard to dissociate the person twisting the words from their actions and they become the object of anger, pity and ridicule themselves..

I have heard the expression of something being a double edged sword many times in my life.. I find this to be especially true in the case of words.. be careful how you use them.. try to use them for good... If you don't or if you twist the words of another the only person you will be cutting with your sword is yourself..

Just my take on words .. now that is out of my head.. I think I'll take a nap.. Y'all have fun

Water Wars on The Way

Ok... It is 4 days and counting.. that is until the annual picnic of a non profit group that Ron and I are a part of.. This thing is an EVENT.. there are water guns.. food.. fun.. and did I mention water guns.. It has now become a team on team thing.. I can't wait... Last year "K" had this water bazooka.. I mean this thing shot about a gallon of water at a time.. and he could reload at a moments notice.. this year.. "K" is mine.. I am bringing water guns.. but if all else fails.. there will be a garden hose in the back of the truck.. It is a lot of fun..I am trying to convince them that I have a handicap this year.. but they aren't going for the broken toe excuse.. It really is broken guys.. I am not wearing this cast to make a statement...Hopefully by Saturday I won't be wearing this thing at all .. I go back to the Dr. on Friday.. He said if it was healing he would take me out of it.. I am thinking I might just hold on to it to take to the picnic..

In other news.. My baby is in FL and I am going through Kyle withdrawls.. there are times when that boy is home that you can't help but wish for duct tape.. but he is the sweetest little thing for the most part.. he will do anything you ask of him.. he loves everyone.. he loves to give hugs and if you are someone he happens to love.. you will receive many hugs a day.. who wouldn't miss that.. I don't know how I am gonna make it through the next 4 and a half weeks without my lil guy.. I will say that it is somewhat easier with Chelsea still home.. she is a great kid.. she has her moments when I question why teenagers exist at all but for the most part.. she is a blast to hang out with and is one of my best friends.. I don't think it is a problem being friends with your kids as long as they still understand you are a friend that can and will ground them .. Sierra lives close by so I get to spend time with her when she isn't working and of course I get to see Chris every day.. I am lucky to have my kids so close.. I enjoy their company.. In fact on of my favorite days of the year is Thanksgiving.. we have a long tradition of having everyone from youngest to oldest tell what they are thankful for.. I look forward to all the work of cooking for all those people every year just because it gets them all under our roof at the same time.. But none of this is helping me not miss my Kyle.. dangit

My mom in law and helper have gotten the apartment upstairs just about ready to rent out again.. I wonder what kinda neighbors we are gonna get this time.. that is one benefit of the landlord being your parent's in law.. you get a say so in picking the tenants.. you would think this would be a good thing.. and it usually is .. until the last ones we had.. hopefully we will be able to get our house soon and that will no longer be a concern..

Well.. I have procrastinated long enough.. I have housework to do.. I have found out one thing that Kyle not being here has changed.. the amount of housework I have to do.. I think the child has been following along behind me messing things up.. My house has stayed pretty much clutter free since he has been gone.. hmmm I guess he took "not me" with him..

Y'all have fun

Just Say No.. To Drama

I swear sometimes the drama level around here could give soap opera writers material for the next century.. This weekend my ex came up here from FL to pick up the kids and take them home with him for 5 weeks.. that sounds simple enough doesn't it.. a dad picking up his kids.. taking them to the 3rd or 4th (i can't remember) wedding of his 35 yr old sister.. then taking them out to dinner and bowling and back to his brothers house for the night before heading back to FL today.. ok.. yeah... nothing is ever simple where that man is concerned.. ( well there is his mind) ..

The ex picked up the kids yesterday afternoon..Ron and I spent a fairly eventful / uneventful day dealing first with Sierra and Jordan doing their usual sniping and arguing with each other.. then they left and Ron and I were blessedly alone for much of the late afternoon and early evening.. We went out around 8 to do some serious Karaoking.. we had a great time at Todd's Karaoke ( one of our favorite haunts) we each sang 4 or 5 songs (can't remember that either) we left there about 11:30 or so... we got home, Ron was on the computer doing whatever and I was wondering around the house making coffee and such when my phone rang.. It was a hysterical Chelsea, crying and asking me to come get her at her uncle's house.. I asked what was wrong.. she just pleaded for me to come get her.. Ron and I got in the truck and picked her up.. his house is only 5 minutes from ours..Chelsea got in and through tears and trying to calm down she told us what happened.. apparently the ex's wife was late getting back from her daughter's house and when she did come in he started accusing her of screwing around on him and being with other men and so forth.. Chelsea saw that her father was in a state of anger and was approaching his wife that way, she thought that he was going to hit her so she stepped in the middle of it.. then her dad started telling Chelsea that she was taking "L's" side of things, he asked Chella if she wanted to go home.. when she replied that she did .. he got pissed at her and wanted to know why all his kids left him.. she told him that he is the one that chose to move to FL and demanded to know why.. he told her that he would tell her when she was older.. she pressed him on it and he finally told her that he moved because she lived with Ron and I.. this isn't exactly true but, the truth isn't something he is really all that familiar with when it doesnt' suit him.. finally she asked to use his wife's phone and called us to come get her..

When Ronnie and I were married.. it was common for him to accuse me of cheating on him.. if I was 5 minutes late getting home from anywhere, If I took a shower when he wasn't home.. if I wore makeup when he wasn't around me.. If I wore certain clothes and so on and so on.. he was also physically abusive.. but mostly it was the never ending mental and emotional abuse that finally caused me to walk out on him.. I had to get me and my kids out of that situation before he either killed me and my kids would have been left with him.. or he turned my boys into him and my girls into woman that thought all women were whores and should be treated the way their father treated me..

Today when Ronnie came to bring Kyle so he could get his clothes and such.. he asked if Chella was still going with him to FL.. I told her ( at her request) that she had decided she didn't want to go and have to listen to that anymore.. that she had heard enough of that sort of thing growing up.. that got him going on one of his usual bullshit trips .. he first tried the.."it was just an argument thing" not knowing Chella had told me all of it.. I responded with " no it wasn't it was you treating "L" the way you treated me" he said .." I guess you and Ron don't argue" to which I said " In fact we don't" that took the wind out of those sails.. then he tried the poor pitiful me routine.. saying that his kids don't want to be with him.. I told him to take me to court to change it.. he is the one that sat in the judge's chambers and told the judge to " let her have the kids" .. when that didn't work he went to accusations.. nothing I hadn't heard before.. that I was unfaithful to him ( I wasn't).. that I didn't treat him right.. yeah yeah yeah.. when nothing worked for him he decided to call me a whore.. that got him booted off my porch.. Meanwhile Ron had Kyle in the house explaining to him what the problem was and giving him the same option to go or not go.. he chose to go.. that is fine.. Ronnie won't act as much a fool with him there.. he still sees Kyle as a baby and won't go psycho when he is around.. don't ask .. it is a strange thing with him.. but he is just like that.. anyway.. after they left.. we had a pretty much lazy day.. I did my nails and thought a lot..

Last night took me instantly back to a place I fought so hard to get away from.. I have at times felt so guilty about walking out on 18 yrs and breaking up my childrens family.. but, I know every day that I am loved by Ron.. that I did the right thing.. I know I should have done it sooner.. but I look at the reason I didn't do it sooner as that I was supposed to meet Ron and that may not have happened unless I did it when I did it.. ok.. so I look at things a bit differently.. so what.. I am a bit different to begin with.. I will worry about Kyle the entire time he is down there.. I will miss his sweet little face and his voice.. and in 5 weeks I will break the land speed record to go get my baby.. We did tell Kyle that if his dad starts the same old crap and it scares him or he just doesn't want to hear it.. all he has to do is call.. and we will be there as soon as possible to get him.. I think knowing that made it ok for him to make his decision..

My kids have for the most part a good relationship with their dad.. the older ones remember the things he said and did to me... that was between he and I.. he was a good dad to them.. I want them to have a good relationship with him.. and unless I think there is a threat to them I will continue to allow them to make the decisions regarding the time they spend with him.. I won't tell them what to do with their relationship with him... I can't.. I don't want to run the risk of influencing them with my feelings about him.. I won't poison them against their father.. he can do that all by himself..

Well now that I have all that off my chest I think I will go lay my head on Ron's chest and watch the 4400.. y'all have fun..

My Side..

I don't want to drag out the drama around here any more.. I am not posting this to piss anyone off or to continue what has turned out to be a dramatic mess and a hell of a lot of hurt and heartache.. but, this blog..this writing is my way of getting things out of my system.. my way of putting down on cyber paper the things that are going through my head.. It allows me to put things in perspective.. so that being said.. here goes

When all of the drama started about buying our house.. ( check out TroubledRamblings.blogspot.com for details) I was dumbfounded.. I couldn't believe that a woman who owns her own business, lives in a beautiful home, and has everything going for her would deny her ex husband, the father of her children , a man she lived with for 20 years..the access to 2 pieces of paper that would allow him to buy a home of his own.. I couldn't imagine that it would be such a personal issue for her to allow Ron and I to go after our american dream.. It is difficult for me to understand people that allow the past to rule their lives and hang on to all the hurt, and forget the wonderful.. Then the kids started to get involved.. It amazed me how much of Ron and his ex's life together was known (if not accurate) by his children..There was no other way for them to have some of the information they thought they had without being told these things.. and I knew Ron was not the one that had told them..

My children know some details of the personal relationship their dad and I had because they saw it.. My ex was verbally, mentally and physically abusive to me.. they saw that.. even still I would never ever try to poison my children against their father. There are things that happened in my first marriage that I would never tell my children.. first they don't need to know.. second the telling of these things could alter the way they feel about their dad.. and I don't want that.. My ex does enough on his own to alienate himself from his kids.. he doesn't need me helping him.. I think what my point is here is that while R was not a wonderful husband.. for the most part he was a wonderful dad.. what happened between he and I should stay between he and I.. All the children need to know is how he relates to them.. what kind of father he is to them.. not what kind of husband he was to me..

One of the first things Ron and I talked about when we realized that our relationship was going to be a long term serious relationship was the fact that he and I both came as a package deal.. we both had lives, loves, a past.. and we both had children that were the center of who we are.. and we discussed the fact that in order to blend these two families and 7 children that we would have to understand.. by loving the parent we would have to accept and grow to love the children..we both did that.. Ron adores my kids.. he is a wonderful father and friend to them.. and I couldn't love his girls more if I had given birth to them myself.. this situation with his ex and now with his daughters is tearing me apart.. I hate to hear and read the venom in the e mails 2 of them have sent.. and the phone calls they have made.. I hated sitting at a restaurant Friday night with 2 of his daughters and one of them totally ignoring her father.. I hate the fact that his ex is such an unhappy, bitter person that she would even poison her daughters against their father to try and prevent his being happy.. I guess I am just not made that way..

I would love for his daughters to sit down with him and allow him the luxury of telling his side of the story.. since they are already involved in this whole thing. I think it would be the right thing to do.. to allow Ron to speak.. instead of hurling hateful accusations at him which he has to defend.. It would be so much easier to sit down and discuss matters and then having both sides of the story make a decision as to what really happened in that relationship..

I know a lot about Ron's past.. he was, from the beginning of our relationship open and honest with me about things that had happened in his past.. He has tried to convince me that at one time he was not the wonderful, loving , sensitive man that I fell in love with.. He insists that he wasn't the person he is now.. that may be true.. (hard to believe)..but to me, all that matters is the person I have known and loved for the last 4 years.. a man that is a wonderful, devoted husband, a great friend, a good son... and a loving, supportive father.. I can't believe he became this person overnight.. that he was magically transformed into the man he is today.. I believe that yes, he did have issues years ago and was man enough to realize it and work on himself to become who he is.. and that he has always been the man I fell in love with inside..

I see the hurt in Ron's eyes when he has talked to his daughters on the phone and they are spewing venom at him.. I see the hurt when he opens an email from one of them and they are calling him names and still hurling accusations and intentionally trying to hurt him.. guess what ladies.. it worked.. you have broken your father's heart.. I love Ron's girls with all my heart.. but I cannot stand the pain I feel everytime I see him like this.. If I could take his pain and bear it myself I would.. He puts on his beautiful smile and tells me he is ok.. but there is something I told him a long time ago.. Honey.. even wearing shades.. your eyes tell me everything I need to know.. I will stand beside Ron.. I will be here no matter what happens in all of this.. I am hoping and praying with all of my soul that what has happened here can be repaired and that his daughters don't listen to all of the poison to the point they step out of our lives and deny themselves and their children the lifetime of love and support that Ron and I want to give to them and the opportunity for a happy future as a wonderful blended family..

I think I am all out of words now.. time to dry my eyes and go about my day.. Girls.. I know you read my blog and I know you have my number.. we are still going to be here.. always..

Y'all have fun

Fashion Statement

Well.. It is broken.. that's right.. My big toe on my right foot is broken in two places.. one break on each side of the joint.. how much fun can one woman have..

A few weeks ago I wrote about Chris totaling his car and dang near totaling me.. well as a result of that accident I now have a new shoe.. it is about two foot tall and about eight inches wide, complete with many velcro straps and an air pump to keep pressure on the foot to immobilize it.. oh yeah it is that beautiful shade of medical navy blue.. can ya beat that for accessorizing?..

What happened was.. right after the wreck, my foot hurt.. I thought I had just jammed my toe by trying diligently to hit the brakes on the passenger side of Chris' car..that didn't work.. So hardheaded me I think ok.. it will go away.. I continued on with my daily thing.. Running Chris back and forth to work.. doing housework.. shopping.. oh yeah and shampooing the carpets in the house.. The toe never got better.. in fact the more I did.. the worse it hurt.. finally last Wednesday I went to the dr.. He sent me for an X-Ray, after saying repeatedly.. " I believe you have broken it".. anyway.. Thursday morning the Dr. called me.. he tells me " Not only is it broken .. It is broken in two places.. we need to get you in to an Ortho NOW!!!!".. the dr. had his secretary set up an appointment for me.. 9:30 Friday morning.. which might I add was an hr and a half before Chris was due to take his drivers test for the second time.. The new Dr. tells me I have a choice.. I can go with the beautiful air boot cast I have now or the traditional plaster cast.. I chose this thing.. I can at least take it off to bathe and sleep.. ok.. so I am not supposed to take it off to sleep.. I don't see this as a problem.. I am not walking in my sleep so there is no danger of me repeatedly re breaking the toe like I had been doing prior to the going to the dr.. I am just sleeping.. I hobble out to Ron's truck to take Chris to his appt.. wouldn't you know it.. this thing on my foot is too wide for me to drive the Bravada.. how much does that suck?.. so.. Chris wound up driving us to his drivers test appointment.. which he failed.. We later met up with Ron.. who took over all driving of the Brevada.. I can drive my car ok.. the Camaro makes you sort of recline to drive and the space between the brake and the gas pedal is wider so I can get this thing on the gas without driving like the rest of the folks around here and riding the brake..

I am now hobbling around .. I can only wear skirts comfortably.. and while I don't mind skirts.. I am not a girly girl type.. so a full 6 weeks wearing nothing but dresses or skirts isn't gonna work for me.. I can wear pants.. but it is a pain to get them on and off.. I have to take this boot off and on every time.. and that is an exercise in velcro strapping , wrapping and air pumping that I would rather undertake as little as possible..

Today I am planning to do not much of anything.. I try to stay off of this foot as much as I can.. If I don't.. I pay for it by mid evening.. of course there is always the Lortab to take the pain away.. or at least make me not care if I have pain.. but I can't drive on drugs.. hmm thinking.. trying to remember what gear to put the car in and exactly where is that clutch thingy anyway.. nope.. not a good plan to drive stoned..

Well I think I am gonna get off here and hobble over to the couch for a morning of riveting television.. or a nap.. which is often the result of riveting morning television for me.. Y'all have fun..