for a child

I have been thinking about a subject this morning that no parent or child should have to think about.. I have been thinking about child abuse.. It has hit close to home and forced me to make a decision that while i know is the right thing to do.. is still one of the hardest decisions to makeMy youngest daughter has been "dating" this boy.. J... He is a great kid for the most part.. he cares about my daughter.. he is bright and funny .. recently we found out that he is also being abused..

I knew that his home life wasn't ideal he and his brothers and sister would be out over the summer at all hours of the night .. the children always have an unkempt appearance and seem to be undernourished.. but still i minded my own business.. I didn't feel it was my place to intervene.. they appeared to be basically healthy and didn't have any visible marks on them.. I never suspected abuse.. neglect yes.. outright abuse no... I didn't know the children that well at the time...

J started seeing my daughter.. and I started to get a better picture of what his home life is like.. he would act surprised when i said i had to get dinner on the table.. he said his mom doesn't cook.. he would act shocked when i would tell my little one to go take a bath.. He said that his parents never told them to do that.. little things like that.. they started to add up.. then 2 days ago.. he ran from his home.. he came by here and met with chelsea in the back yard and told her that his parents hit him and that he couldn't take it anymore..I got to thinking about all the things that had "added" up..

I made a call to the child abuse hotline and told them about what he had related to chelsea.. It was a hard decision.. you don't want to accuse someone incorrectly.. you don't want children to be uprooted from their homes.. but you have to do something.. you can't just sit idly by and let a child be hit.. the hotline told me that they would go and speak to J at his school away from his parents.. We haven't heard anything..

The affect this is having on Chelsea is near devastation.. she is only 14 she should be studying .. enjoying her friends.. trying on clothes and makeup.. not worrying about her boyfriend being beaten or taken away.. she is depressed and she misses him terribly.. but i think the one thing that is bothering her the most is she doesn't know what is happening with him.. not knowing how he is.. where he is.. it would be hard for an adult to deal with I can't imagine what it is like for a child..

Ron and I are being supportive.. we are giving her all the encouragement we know how to give.. Russ sent her an email that touched my heart as well as hers.. everyone that knows what is going on has been there for Chelsea and for me.. they support my decision to make that call.. I just hope that all of our love and support is enough to help my precious child through this..

I can't imagine hurting a child.. I don't understand how any parent could do something like that.. My children are my world.... there is nothing i wouldn't do to protect my children..sometimes i wonder why some people were given children in the first place.. they are not ours.. they are not property.. they are a loaned gift from God who places them in our care expecting us to love them and teach them how to become the people they are supposed to be.. not to hurt them.. or neglect them.. I have made mistakes as a parent.. we all do.. but to injure a child through abuse.. whether it be emotional, physical, or sexual is not a mistake.. it is an offense to not only the law but to God himself...

I just hope that in this case the athorities can do something to get these children out of the situation and get them to a safe place that will help them to heal.. Ron gave me a prayer cloth to help me quit smoking.. I am praying instead for these children and all the children that are suffering at the hands of those that should love them ..

I wrote a poem about abuse.. i would like to share it with you.. i hope if someone reading this needs help .. or knows a child that does.. it reminds you to do what you have to do to make that call .. to help..




The Pain Is Silent

The pain is silent
Screaming only on the inside
Smile brightly outward for the world to see
Never reveal what lies beneath

Tortured waiting, for it will come
In the dead of night
Peace laid to waste by hurt’s wail
Trembling from a frozen touch

The bringer of the torment is dry bones in his grave
But still he lives on in the memory of the child that once was
Reality fades but his face looms large
Shrinking into the smallest space to try to find comfort

Icy fingers invading even love’s warmest embrace
Memories crashing against even the sincerest touch
Cringing inside the child screams not again
The me of now buries the pain just to survive

Suffer silently
To give voice would to lend strength to the demon
To surrender all hope of happiness
Quieter strength is the stronger, bearing a load that no loud wail of agony could carry

The sound of innocence shattered is deafeningly still..

Tammy J. November 17, 2004