Friday, November 02, 2007

Broken Promise

I know, I know.... I promised not to get so lax in posting and then I went and did it again.. In my defense I have been having medical issues with my hands and have not been able to type much.. the arthritis isn't getting any better.. but so goes life..

Cloe the latest love of my life is a complete joy to have around she is getting so big.. It is amazing to see the way she is developing into this tiny little person. She has a wonderful personality. She rarely cries, smiles all the time and charms everyone she comes in contact with.. I have discovered though after 4 months of babysitting an infant I am a bit older than I thought I was.. I love having her here.. I love taking care of her and seeing those beautiful smiles.. and I love when mom and dad pick her up at the end of the day and take her home.. give an old lady a break ya know.. I guess it was just as hard when my own children were little but I had 3 of them at 22 and 4 by 27 that I figured wandering around with spitup stained clothes, no makeup, hair in a perpetual ponytail, and never sleeping was just normal..

Chelsea has been having a rough time lately she went through a very harrowing and personal experience and is now dealing with the reality and aftermath of what happened we are taking it day by day and she is getting counselling.. I am not one of those parents that think I can provide everything she needs and I know when to step away from a situation that is too close to home and get professional advice and counselling when needed.. I hate it when parents don't realize that children sometimes can't talk to the people they love most about things that have hurt them the most and take it personally when the kid doesn't talk to them.. she needs my love, she needs my support, and she needs my wisdom to know there are things that I won't be well equipped to handle alone and will find her someone who is..

I lost my grandmother on Halloween.. she was 94 yrs old she lived a very long life.. I know that the first 70 yrs of it was relatively happy and secure for her.. then after that with the alzheimers she was still happy most of the time but just didn't know what happiness meant anymore.. I am very grateful to have had her in my life for this long she was a wonderful, sweet, simply classy lady.. I will miss just knowing she was there... I love you Grammy.

Ron's book will be out soon.. I am sooooo excited and soooo proud of my honey.. I told him I have always been proud to be with him.. to be his wife.. to be a part of his family.. but I am proud of him for this too.. It takes talent to write, a gift of words and a whole lot of guts to put that out there for everyone to see.. I respect that.. reading the book for me is somewhat theraputic reminding me of what was then and what we learned to get to where we are now... and I love the idea of knowing that Ron loves me so much that he left this legacy of my mother for not only our family but to anyone that is struggling with an alzheimers patient and may need to just know there are others out there that have been there and come out the other side.. Mom has moved into the 3rd stage of this disease and most of the time doesn't really know me.. but that is ok.. I know her..

OH... I almost forgot.. Chelsea also started her first job today.. she said it was fun and she loved working.. I was thinking it is easy to love working when you don't have to... but I am still way happy for her and very proud of her. I also think that having the job will help her to not dwell on the other issues going on with her right now..

Kyle turned 12 last Thursday.. he had 2 parties and was the center of attention for several days.. which is always his favorite place to be.. It is amazing to me that he is that age.. he is so mature in several ways and very intelligent.. but sometimes I still see him as that little angel faced baby that spit mashed potatoes at me. ( he still doesn't like them) I know they all have to grow up but for some reason I had it in my head because he is the baby it wouldn't happen to him..

I am dealing with a pulled hamstring and torn muscle never again will I question why athletes have to take off from playing for so long with this injury that sucker HURTS!!.. I don't really know how I did it but somehow I did.. now all I want is to undo it and make the pain go away.. I am supposed to heat it 20mins every 2 hours and keep it elevated most of the day.. Yeah like that is gonna happen around here.. I have a baby to watch.. kids to cook for... a hubby to take care of.. and a house to clean.. not to mention all the other things people seem to find for me to do.. but I am trying to behave and not do too much.. I promise.. ok so I didn't keep my last promise in a post but I will this time... no really .. I will..

I guess I should post more often.. these marathon postings hurt my hands and Ron is already mostly nekkid and in the bed.. think I will go join him..

Y'all have fun..

2 comments:

Julee Ann said...

Thanks for the visit. I stand amazed time and time again at how I come upon websites that offer hope, suggestions, and seem to inspire me. I do have the book proposal at the publisher, if nothing comes of that I plan to self publish in the spring. It's nice to meet you guys.

Retro Girl said...

We're so sorry to hear you lost your precious grandma *HUGS* It's so hard...grandmas are such special guardian angels...there's nothing in the world like a girl's grandma...

*HUGS* Love you sweetie!
Take care of yourself...
Sorry to hear about the hammy/muscle tear....ouch! Hope you get some relief soon. *hugs*