The Week Begins

Just taking a few minutes to catch up while dinner is simmering in there...

The job is going well.. if I can get a full week in that is.. between the deaths going on, me getting sick, taking off early to get Sierra's car legal and my upcoming laser hysterectomy thing on Monday it seems like I am never going to get a full weeks work in.. good thing I am very good at my job and I like the calls that no one else wants to do.. My boss was seriously impressed that I like calling the doctors office and even more so that when I call I seem to get better results.. guess it is just my natural charm.. yeah right..

Sierra starts her regular hours at the same company on Wednesday, so I took off today to get the paper work done on her car to get it legal and wouldn't you know it the guy that has the paper work I need and was supposed to leave it for me today took it to work with him in his truck.. I called him and told him I was not amused.. he said I won't hurt him cause I love him.. I told him not that much.. but he will get it to me.. I can always take a little time off and go get it.. I doubt my boss would notice since I haven't been there that much anyway..

I bumped the concrete divider between me and another car this morning.. I may have bumped her car too.. I don't know for sure but whatever the case it turned out to be quite funny.. she kept telling me she was going to call the police.. I kept telling her to go ahead.. she was driving daddy's car and whining that daddy was going to be mad.. the problem was there is a gash in her bumper that even if I did bump her it wouldn't have caused that there are no pointy areas on the back bumper of a caddilac.. anywho.. she called the police.. they came out and said the same thing.. that there was no way my car did that to her car.. she wasn't happy about it.. I doubt daddy will be either.. the cop wrote the report "no damage to either vehicle".. and then wrote her a ticket for no proof of insurance.. didn't turn out well for her did it..

Well that is about it.. for now.. gotta go serve my sexy hubby some supper.. how are things in y'all's world?

Y'all have fun

Back To Work

OMGosh me posting twice in the same week.. wow.. feels like old times.. anywho.. I went back to work yesterday.. I love my job and my boss.. F.(my boss) was afraid that I had either forgotten everything that I had learned during my training from being off too long or was not ready to get back on the phones and make the calls at first so he put me with another girl to listen in on her calls for the day.. about 11am I was utterly bored to tears and asked her if she would like to goof off for the rest of the day and let me make the calls.. she readily agreed (imagine that) turns out the only thing I had forgotten was how to clock out at the end of the day.. the system we use is a bit unusual and I had only clocked in and out one day before the trip to Louisville and all that followed..F reminded me of how to do that today and all is well..This morning when I went in F decided to put me at my own cubicle and let me go.. problem is we are a bit overstaffed and didn't have an available cubicle for me.. I was homeless .. he finally found a place for me but not with our group.. I assured him that I am a big girl and if I needed him or any one's assistance I would find someone to ask..F. is a really sweet guy and he tries to go out of his way to make sure his employees are comfortable and happy in their environment that is a good thing.. but sometimes he worries too much.. I am fairly easy to get along with and don't need much to be comfortable once I know my job. What we do is process disability claims by calling employees, employers and doctors offices to verify information.. well no one seems to like the Dr. office calls..This afternoon F asked me if I would mind making that those calls for the rest of the day.. I told him that was all I had been doing and in fact I like those best.. you would have thought the man had won the lottery.. needless to say I got brownie points.. woo hoo go me!!

There is this one guy where I work that we have nicknamed "creepy" this is the kinda guy that you just know is gonna come to work in a trench coat and either start shooting up the place or flashing people.. neither of these things is anything I want to see.. I thought I had gotten rid of him.. about my 3rd day there he was outside talking as I was on the phone to a friend on my lunch break.. he kept interjecting himself into everything I was saying.. finally I got off the phone and asked him " Do you ever stop talking?" to which he replied "Yes, I stop talking all the time" I said.. " this would be a good time to practice that" He walked away from me and was going out of his way to avoid me after that.. this was a good thing.. but as they say all good things must come to an end.. Today Sierra was at my job applying for a job herself..when she was finished with her application process she came around to my office.. I happened to be outside.. I gave her my keys so she could listen to the radio and such.. when she was finished I had told her to ask someone outside to come get me.. guess who happened to be outside when she was finished.. you guessed it creepy himself.. he came into the office and asked me if I was Tammy.. I was like great now he knows my name.. I told him yep that's me.. he told me Sierra was outside waiting for me.. wow even better he knows my pregnant daughter's name too.. can this get any worse?.. I took my lunch break and went outside to sit with Sierra while she waited on her friend to come get her to give her a ride home..(she did get her license Wed but her car isn't transferred over to our name yet) as she and I were talking , of course creepy kept interjecting things into our conversation.. at one point we were talking about driving he mentions that he drives 110mph in the mountains.. I said "That doesn't make you a good driver just stupid".. he said "I'm still here" I said " OK you are still stupid".. he didn't take the hint.. Now I am gonna have to find a way to get rid of him again.. thanks Sierra ya brat..

Well I guess I am about done on here tonight I need to get my butt in bed and the rest of me.. I am going to visit Chris in the morning and although it isn't that far to drive it is a bit of a difficult drive as you have to go through all these mountains and such..and I won't be driving 110mph.. I am taking the new Cadillac tomorrow.. (OK new to me Cadillac.. 99 Deville.. pearl white.. it is a great car..) so I want to get an early start just in case.. not that I expect any problems but you never know with any used car..

Y'all have fun.

Numb

I am sort of still in a blur.. I am functioning.. cleaning house, trading vehicles, cooking dinners, doing the shopping.. you know normal daily function type of things.. what I am not really doing much of is thinking.. I can't right now.. If I think I will cry.. It is hard to explain, as long as I keep busy doing the things I should be doing I won't think about all the loss we have had over the last month.. I won't think about or question why my dad's death hit me as hard as it did.. I won't regret not going to visit him in the hospital.. I won't think about not seeing Ron's granny as often as we should have..I won't have time to miss Ron's dad.. I won't think about the fact that I don't spend as much time with my mom and grandmother as I should.. I won't think about anything but doing the things I am doing.. Yes, I know that having the what ifs, and the regrets about are a normal healthy part of the greiving process.. It is just that in less than a month we have lost 3 people and that I haven't had time to deal with or really grieve for any one of them.. who do you grieve for first or most.. what do you do in a situation like this? What is the normal response or even is there a "normal" response to a situation like this? I just don't know.. Last night I was talking to Chris on the phone.. oh yeah.. someone else I am worried about.. anyway.. while I was talking to him.. we were talking about my dad.. I burst into tears.. I don't know why.. I just did.. sometimes I want to just get back in bed and sleep all day.. Chelsea is sleeping too much.. I guess that is her way of dealing with is or heck I don't know...maybe she just isn't feeling good right now.. I feel everything right now in a mostly cautious way.. like if I let myself feel too much I am gonna break..

There is a bright light in my life other than my precious Ron.. since I was baptized I have felt this I don't know.. inner peace and comfort.. I know that can only come from God.. that is what keeps me going and lets me know that when I am able to feel things normally again that I won't actually break.. He will always be there in my heart and my mind to keep me from just falling apart.. ya know Ron said something at church the other day .. I had said something about God not putting on us more than we can bear.. Ron said to me " wish He didn't trust you so much sometimes".. I do and I don't.. I am grateful that God has given me the inate strength that everyone that has ever known me remarks on.. and I am grateful that I have been strong enough to hold it together this far in dealing with all that has been going on.. I just wish I had the strength to be as strong for me as I can be for those I love.. I guess that is what He is for.. He is the strength I need just for myself..

I know life goes on.. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful healthy children, the promise of a great little granddaughter coming in August, a good job, (which I can't wait to get back to on Thursday), the love and support of my friends, an over all good life.. I also know I will get back to really living it as soon as God thinks I am ready to.. right now though..I guess I am just gonna be numb a while longer..

Y'all have fun