Made It Back.. Barely

Well the trip from hell is over.. I am finally home.. I would say that this was one of the worst trips to FL ever in recorded history.. but I would most likely find out that it is not one of the worst but the worst... There are things that happened on that trip that I will not go into detail about here.. sorry guys but somethings just hurt too much to share.. Just suffice it to say that from my children's behavior.. I am learning what "tough love" is all about..

There were good things about the trip.. I got to know Chelsea's bf J a lot better.. turns out he is a really good kid.. I like him.. My dad liked him.. there are only 2 people I can remember my dad taking to so quickly in my entire lifetime.. one is Ron.. the other is J.. I thought that was pretty cool..

We did get in some beach time.. but frankly it was too damn hot to go to the beach.. so we left there and went to Glenna's.. thank you for your hospitality girl in the midst of your own exhaustion.. Love ya..

Mauritha ( my best friend of 15 yrs) gave us passes to Kennedy Space Center.. Chelsea and I of course have been there many times.. but J hadn't ever been .. it was pretty interesting to see it through the eyes of someone that didnt grow up around the space center.. gave me a fresh perspective on it.. I even learned a few things I didn't know about the Center and space exploration.. thanks J..

We got home Saturday morning around 8:30am after driving all night.. I was exhausted.. bringing my grandmother home was a lot more trying than I had anticipated.. and she was exhausted as well.. she was having some problems keeping anything on her stomach when we got here.. I thought I would let her rest for a bit and see how she did.. I laid down for a little while.. then got back up and went with Ron and Russ to the Cingular store.. where I promptly fell asleep in the parking lot.. ( good to see ya Russ).. anywho.. after lunch..( thanks Russ) Ron brought me home and I slept for another couple hours.. when I got up Grammy was still asleep..and Chris, Chasity, and Ian were here.. was great to see them.. even if it was through travel weary eyes..

Grammy woke up a little while later and asked for some water.. I gave her a few sips .. she couldn't keep that down.. so Ron and I decided rather than risk dehydration of a 91 yr old woman we should get her to the hospital.. we called an ambulance and they took her .. We met my uncle at the hospital.. Once Grammy was admitted we grabbed a bite to eat and came home for me to get some rest..

For some reason my sanity completely left me and I decided to clean house when we got home.. I put away clothes.. I cleaned out the van.. I did laundry.. I don't know where or how I had the energy to do any of it.. but I finally ran out of gas around 11:30 and then proceeded to sleep almost 12 hrs.. I felt better then.. I am still tired.. I need another 12 hrs sleep.. I don't know if it is all physical or emotional exhaustion that has got me .. I think it is a bit of both..

The best part of coming home.. Ron is here.. he is my rock.. my angel.. I was so happy to see him when he opened the door .. all I could do for a few minutes was just stand there clinging to him.. I couldn't move.. I couldn't think.. It just felt so good to be able to stand there in his arms and let go of all that had happened for just a few minutes.. I think more than anything .. he gave me the strength to go on with the rest of the day.. I love you honey..


Well looks like I have written a novella here so I think I will quit for a bit.. I have a regular ordinary Tammy day scheduled for today.. I am so looking forward to my regular chaos.. I will never again be too annoyed with my life for being chaotic.. I found out.. it can get a whole lot worse...


Y'all have fun..

It's A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has been a great day... first things first tho.. I am getting a grandson.. we found out this afternoon that Sierra and Jordan's baby is a big healthy boy.. I have said all along that it was gonna be a boy.. but to be proven right.. well lets just say grandma is doing the happy dance.. I would have been happy either way.. just the healthy part made me happy.. but it is nice to know so I will know what to buy to spoil this youngin rotten.. We also found out this is not a shy little boy.. he was laying in there with his little legs spread as if to say.. "Hi this is my penis".. definately not modest.. but that is ok.. none of us are overly modest around here either..

The first bit of good news came around 9:30 this morning.. my phone rang and it was someone looking for Jordan to inform him he had won a contest for a year's supply of free gas at the local gas station down the street.. this is a good thing and will be a benefit to them..

The second bit of good news was a call about my grandmother.. they have finally gotten her retirement benefits straightened out and will be mailed to her here.. this has been an ongoing battle for over a year now.. good to have it fixed..

The third good thing today was the lunch.. we had a good turnout .. it is always good to see friends.. thanks Gary,Mandy, Cynthia, Jim, Brandon, Todd and Betty.. was great to see you all..

Then the baby news.. it has been a great day so far...the only thing that could have made this day better would have been to have had Ron home with me.. but he will be home in a few hours..then the greatness of this day will be complete.. well time to go...

Y'all have fun..

At Work With Ron..

I decided to come to work with Ron today.. He has classes on Thurs and Fri. so I wouldn't be able to be here with him on those days... and I have things left to do to prepare for the trip on Monday... so I thought today would be a great time to get some extra time with my honey..

He made me cry today... Not in a bad way.. He posted one of his poems on his blog.. "Passion's Masterpiece" I remember the beginning of that poem... Where it came from.. I won't go into details..( you are welcome Russ) but suffice it to say this poem started after a wonderfully passionate and romantic time between us.. It took him a while to finish it.. The funny part was that when he did finish it.. he didn't add much to it.. I thought it was perfect the way that it originally was so he left it that way with the minor exception of the last line..I love his poetry.. and I would be lying if I said that I don't love the ones he has written about or for me just a bit more.. there is just something even more wonderful about him using his enormous talent to tell me again just how much he loves me... Not that he needs to tell me .. He shows me every day..

I don't have the gift that Ron has... So I will just leave it at this..

Poet of My Heart.. I am going to miss you.. I always feel you beside me.. around me.. as much a part of me as the air I breathe.. that will make it bearable until I can be in your arms again..

Where Have I been?

It has been a while since I have blogged.. sorry bout that.. and no I didn't get kidnapped by aliens again.. just got away for a bit.. got to go with Ron on a 2 day mini vacation.. well vacation for me and the kids.. work and classes for him.. but I think over all we all had a good time.. Next week I won't be blogging much either unless I can blog from Glenna's puter.. I will be in FL most of the week.. taking Kyle and Chel to their dad.. and picking up my grandmother.. that will be a trip and a half I am sure..

The thing that sux the most about the trip to Fl is not that I will have to see my ex.. that sux enough but, that I won't have my Ron with me.. I hate being without him.. I know I won't sleep.. I won't eat right.. I won't feel like me until I get back home.. I guess I will have to try to figure out some way to stay busy until I can leave.. Last year I cut my trip short by a full day in order to get back home to him..

Well I guess I had better get off here and get some rest and spend as much time with my honey as I can making up for lost time before we actually lose it..

Y'all have fun...

The first ultrasound  

Weekend

Here it is another Sunday evening.. that is the thing about weekends.. they always end.. this one has been a really good one..

Friday was a too tired to head out to Todd's night.. that was fine with me.. I wouldn't have minded singing but, I can do that at home.. there was much cuddling and movie watching.. can't do that at todd's.. well the cuddling yes.. but it is too loud in there to hear the tv.. anywho.. we got up saturday and went out and about as described in Ron's blog .. I got a really pretty dress that I think I will wear to Sierra and Jordan's big wedding ceremony in July.. It is white and fits me well that is always a good thing..

Today has been a lazy type day.. I have read most of the day.. Ron has been on the puter.. I even got to take a short nap.. It is good to have a lazy day most of the time.. the house is pretty much in order.. the laundry doesn't need me to do anything but change it from machine to machine to basket.. and dinner was a breeze.. fried pork chops and mexican rice with diced tomatoes and corn.. it was good.. I took a hot bath and washed my hair.. I think the rest of the evening will be just as relaxing and lazy.. I see more cuddling.. more reading.. more tv watching.. dang wouldn't it be nice if the weekends were 5 days and the work week were 2.. oh well so much for fantasizing.. I only have one thing that I must do this eve.. gotta make Ron's lunch for tomorrow.. but that is a labor of love so it is something I enjoy doing..

Speaking of which.. I think I will get off here and go do that .. so the cuddling can begin..

Y'all have fun

Thinking, Musing, Eating.

It just feels like I should be writing this morning. I am not sure what it is I am supposed to be writing about.. there is nothing particular on my mind.. there is nothing other than the regular worrisome stuff on my mind.. Just something keeps nagging at me to write.. So I thought I would sit down at the trusty computer this morning and see what comes out..

So far it has been an uneventful day.. it is only a little after 8 but I am hopeful that this is a trend that will last the entire day.. I do have a lot to do today.. I need to take Jordan and Chris job hunting.. I need to take Sierra for an appt.. I need to do some shopping for my Mary Kay party tomorrow.. and I need to do some seriously major housecleaning.. I hope that my wrist holds out for the day and allows me to do some if not all of the things I need to do..

I just went and woke up Chris.. he is a lot of things that bug me.. but I will give him credit for one thing..that is the easiest person on the planet to awaken.. just say his name.. and he is awake and ready to go.. It wasn't always that way with him.. he used to be like Chelsea.. beg, plead, threaten and pray that she gets up.. but when he turned about 12 he was up like a shot.. maybe this means she will out grow it too..

There are only 2 days left in the school year.. this is something that makes me immensly happy.. I love having them all home from school.. I get to spend more time with them that way.. yeah I know I am a traitor to mom's everywhere.. I just can't help myself.. when they were little and starting school I was miserable.. I hated leaving them there.. I hated that they would be gone for 6 hrs of the day and that I would miss that time with them.. I don't know why I am that way.. maybe it all ties in with the taking in every kid I see thing... and that my kids are my life thing.. don't know.. and honestly.. I don't care.. it is just how I feel..

Right now I am contemplating getting up and going to the kitchen to make something to eat.. I have had some sort of stomach thing going on all week and haven't been able to keep much of anything down . .. but this morning I actually woke up hungry.. hopefully that too is a good sign for the day.. Hey there are banana's in that kitchen.. they are good for me.. and they don't have to be cooked.. sounds like breakfast to me..

Yummmmmm I got my banana.. anyway.. I just thought I would see if by sitting here typing this nonsense above I could get this writing bug out of my ear for a bit.. Didn't work.. but I do have things to do and not enough time to sit here and try to figure out what it is I am supposed to be writing today.. Honey.. you are all up in my head.. see anything in there worth writing about?..

Y'all have fun..

Three

Ok.. this was on my honey's blog.. was just too good to not steal

Three is a Magic Number

Three names you go by:

Tammy
Baby
Mom

Three screen names that you have had:

Tammyjsdaqueen
Squeakyredhead
Troubleshandsful

Three things you like about yourself:

That I make friends easily
That I have love in my life
I have a sense of huimor

Three things you don't like about yourself:

My tendancy to anger
The way I look naked
The inability to trust

Three parts of your heritage:

German on dad's side
Indian (My grandfather was full blooded Cherokee)
Irish.. Explains the temper and hair

Three things that scare you:

Being unloved
Being alone
Spiders

Three of your everyday essentials:

My kids
my love
Big cup of coffee

Three things you are wearing right now:

Denim Skort
Pink Tank top
white thong

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists (@ the moment):

Martina McBride
Trace Adkins
Toby Keith

Three of your favorite songs:

My Daughter's eyes
God's Will
Keeper of the Stars (when Ron sings it)

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:

Getting things settled with kids and grandkids
going back to work
writing the book that has been in my head for years

Three things I want in a relationship:

Honesty
Respect
The Chest

Two truths and a lie: (in no particular order)

I love all my children (including step)
I am a CIA operative in deep cover
I love my crazy life

Three physical things that attract you to the opposite sex:

Eyes
Smile
Sense of humor

Three things you can't do without:

Ron
My kids
Coffee

Three of your favorite hobbies:

Writing
Cuddling
Singing

Three places you want to go on vacation:

Sweden
Mt Fugi
Hawaii

Three things you just can't do:

Bowl
not give someone a second , second chance
turn my back on someone I love

Three things you want to do before you die:

Be happy with me
See all of my kids happy and successful
Travel

Three celeb crushes:

Vin Diesel
Tim McGraw
Nick Nolte..

Ok they are not crushes.. but they are just Hot..

A New Step

Well.. It has been a strange couple of days.. I need to write.. I need to blog.. heck I think I need to scream.. I have already cried..

Sierra and Jordan got married yesterday evening.. I know all the practical reasons.. I know they love each other.. I know they have a baby coming.. None of these things makes me stop wishing that she were 6 again and still needed mommy to fix everything..

I want my children to be happy , that is all that I have ever wanted for them.. I have never had hopes that Sierra would be a world class designer.. or Chelsea will be a famous author.. or Kyle will be a world renound scientist.. or that Chris would be a lawyer.. all I have ever wanted is for my children to find happiness in this life.. I don't care what they do for a living ( as long as it is legal) I don't care what political or religious beliefs they hold.. Those are choices that I cannot make for them.. I can only guide them by what I believe in.. and hope that they make the right choices for them.. along this same line of thinking I cannot tell them when or with whom to fall in love..

I didn't want my children to have to struggle the way I have.. I didn't want them to have to scrape along.. but I guess again these are things they have to choose for themselves.. I can only be there to support and help them when they need me..

So in saying all of this I guess I am saying that even though I didn't want Sierra to marry or have children this young.. this is a choice that she has made for her life.. She loves Jordan.. He loves her.. hopefully they remember that love when times are hard , when they are struggling .. and it will sustain the relationship enough to allow them both to grow.. I am not unhappy about my daughters choice in young men.. I am just sad that it was made so soon..

Y'all have fun

Job Hunting Again

Well it is back to the dusty job hunting trail for Jordan.. long story short.. he got hurt.. got drug tested.. needs a new job.. he isn't smoking.. but he did .. and after looking up the test they use it can pick up usage for up to 90 days.. that just doesn't seem fair to me..

Ok.. I am not advocating pot smoking.. I am just saying that if you smoke a month ago and get hurt on the job chances are it isn't because you were high.. ya know.. that would be like saying the 6 pack you drank saturday night caused you to be intoxicated a month later and caused you to have a wreck.. makes no sense.. but hey that is me.. anyway.. we are out and about today hopefully he will find something soon.. I know the kid is trying.. that is why I will take him hunting.. he quits trying.. I quit helping.. he found that out the hard way.. anyway.. time to head out the door.. Y'all have fun..

Hot Hot Hot!!!!!!!!

I have been whining all winter about it being cold.. been wanting it to hurry up and get warm.. I got my wish.. Whewwww it is hot today.. Sierra, Jordan and I went to Nicholasville to see my best friend and to do some yard saleing.. we dang near melted.. it was 91 in Nick Vegas as we Lexintonians affectionatly call that town.. We did have a good time despite the heat..

We got some good bargains.. and found some yard sales where the people think you can get back what you paid originally for things.. Hint.. If you are having a yard sale.. that usually means you want to get rid of the stuff you are selling.. if you have 10 bucks on a dress that you paid 10bucks for.. you ain't gonna get rid of it.. the stuff isn't worth that much.. try again.. get out your little pen and paper.. and mark that DOWN.. geesh..

Sierra is no longer allowed to buy clothing.. This is not my rule.. she imposed this on herself.. she has informed me that she has too many clothes right now.. my thinking is.. yes..she does.. but most of what she has right now will not fit her in a few weeks.. she is getting bigger.. that happens when you are pregnant.. she will find this out.. She has found out already that if you happen to wear a size 0 before you get pregnant, it don't take long to not be wearing it once you are..

Well time to go get the Kyle.. honey.. good luck with the invasion of the 10 yr olds.. Later Y'all

Guys like you!

I was talking to Russ this morning about dating.. women.. single moms.. and he said something that made me think.. he was talking about step parents.. that when he was younger he and his step dad had their issues.. but, as he has gotten older he has realized what a tremendous job his step dad took on in marrying a woman with 2 kids.. got me to thinking..

I have a lot of friends that are single moms.. I was one too for a while.. the dating scene pretty much sucks for single parents .. It is hard enough to juggle working , being a mom or dad.. and having a life of your own without the pressure of dating..

When Ron and I started dating.. My kids at one point decided to collectively lose their little minds.. I was supposed to go out with Ron one night and I called to tell him that I was needed at home and wouldn't be able to go.. his reaction was to suggest he come to my place and watch movies with us.. I guess I didn't realize at the time how unusual that is for a man these days to actually want to be involved with the children of the woman he is dating.. I hear from my single girlfriends all the time that they feel like "dates" want them to choose between going out and being a mom.. I am not saying that we should always stay home and be a mom.. that there aren't times when we need to get away from the kids.. It just seems to me that if a man or woman is going to be in a relationship with a person that has children that they should understand that the kids come first to that person.. just my take on it..

I guess I was just lucky in that Ron is the type of man that understands that.. and accepts it.. and loves my children not because they are mine.. but because of who they are.. there aren't many men out there like that.. based on my conversation with Russ this morning.. there seems to be at least one more out there like my Ron.. Russ.. You ROCK..

ok.. done for today.. y'all have fun

Back to Lazy

Well it seems that my delivery services were not needed today.. I asked my friend yesterday if she thought she would need me.. she told me she didn't know.. and that she would call me.. I told her.. PLEASE call me.. Ok so I guess I sound a little desperate.. I just have really enjoyed working.. I guess I just didn't realize how much I missed making money and being out and about.

Ron was supposed to take the lawnmower to work with him today to get the guys in the auto shop work on it.. I was supposed to remind him and we both forgot.. so he called me around 8:20 or so and asked me if I could bring it to him at school.. the problem was I had no way to load the dang thing.. I can't lift it.. Russ had sent me an email to let me know he was off work today and to let him know if I wanted to get together for coffee.. so I waited til 10 and called him.. he was such a sweetie.. he came over and loaded the thing for me and rode to Winchester with me and Sierra.. we had a good time.. stopped for lunch.. talked .. those sorts of things..

I got to see my honey for about an hr in the middle of the day.. we didn't get to spend much time together.. but it was good to just be near him.. I even got the guys to check out my brakes.. they are ok.. One less worry for me for the trip to FL.. the thing that sucked is that we eventually had to leave.. I love seeing Ron in the middle of the day..but I hate having to leave .. cause I know I am gonna miss him for the rest of the afternoon..

There was one really funny thing that happened while we were there.. There were several of the students that were going totally gaga over Sierra.. she is pregnant.. but isn't showing all that much yet and she is a really beautiful girl.. most of the time she simply doesn't notice when guys are falling all over themselves... she is oblivious to the fact that she is beautiful.. but today it was hard to not notice when the one boy almost broke his neck trying to look at her and show off while driving a riding mower.. I was just hoping the poor kid wouldn't hurt him self..

Anyway.. It is almost time for my honey to get off work and I need to start dinner and finish laundry.. Y'all have fun..

Whewwwwwwwwww

Dang.. who would have thunk it? That delivering flowers would wipe a person out so much.. I am wiped.. Sierra and I did 10 more deliveries today.. after the 2 day marathon of 34 you would think 10 would be a breeze.. Not so.. One thing it is hot out today.. and Lexington traffic.. well lets not even get me started on Lexington traffic.. suffice it to say I wonder each and every day how some of these people not only got licensed in this state but how they manage to survive every day out on the roads..

Anyway.. Sierra and I finished up around 2:30.. grabbed our check and ran like hell before she could give us any more flowers to deliver.. actually she didn't have many more and she asked if we wanted a few .. we turned her down.. I needed to get home to Kyle.. thanks to Jordan he got picked up from school ok..

I love doing something to earn a little money.. Makes me feel like I am doing more than taking around here.. yeah I keep the house.. I take care of the kids mainly.. I cook.. but those things I would be doing if I were working full time still.. For me .. Making this little bit of money gives me back a bit of my self esteem that has been sorely tested in the last year and a half.. I normally know my worth around here.. It is just sometimes I feel that I need to be doing more.. I need to be making money.. paying bills.. all that good stuff..

So.. in saying all of that.. I want to thank Sierra, Chelsea and Ron.. I would not have been able to do my job without them to help.. and I wouldn't feel so good about finally doing something to contribute around here.. I feel more like me than I have in the last yr and a half.. (tired) but a good tired.. a tired from accomplishing something.. dang I think I might need a hobby.. I know I sing.. but that is too much fun to feel like I have done anything.. Oh well .. I am going to take the family out to Ci Ci's pizza for dinner tonight to celebrate.. Y'all have fun..

Lunch is Back

When I first met Ron he organized lunches each week for the chatroom that we frequent.. That is actually how we met.. anywho.. some of the roomies have been asking me if we were going to start having room lunches again so I took the hint and organized a lunch for today.. it went well (if not a little weird being Ronless) we went to friends and company which is one of our favorite restaurants..

There was a good crowd for the most part.. faces I hadn't seen in forever.. thank you Doug, Susan, Bryson, Jim, David, Vickie, Susanky,JimJknight, Janice, Chucky, and Kristen A.K.A Miss why.. was good to see all of you.. we talked about it .. I don't want to do the weekly lunch thing again.. gets expensive and it eventually wears down to just a few people.. what I would like to do is perhaps an every other week lunch.. I brought this up to the gang and they thought it was a great idea.. so we will see what happens..

Ron just called me from work to tell me that he misses me... How sweet is that.. I miss him too... He is always there beside me.. always around me.. even when I spend most of my days running round like a chicken with it's head off.. I still always have time to miss him...I don't think I tell him this often enough.. but I love it when he calls me in the middle of the day.. especially on days when it seems like I can get nothing done and I have been trying to accomplish something all day.. he revives me and gives me a brighter moment in my day.. which brightens my entire outlook..

Well time for Kyle... Have a good day Y'all

Oh Yeah..

For those that read this and have been wondering.. Sierra and baby are doing great.. she is healthy..The baby is growing at the normal rate.. and we have new ultrasound pics.. gonna find out if Ron knows how to put them here on the blog.. her next appt is on the 25th when we are going to confirm that it is ok for her to go to FL with me for a week in June.. Just thought I would update anyone that was interested..

Finally

Today has been a feel bad and getting better day..

The feel bad part is I think I am getting a cold. I don't want to admit that it is a cold I keep telling myself that it is only my allergies.. yeah I know honey...I don't run a fever with my allergies.. but let me have my little illusions please.. geesh..

The getting better part of my day came at about 2pm.. I had just gotten out of the shower when my phone rang.. I got Sierra to answer it.. turns out to be the director of the nursing home where my grandmother is in FL.. He and I sort of had words yesterday.. I want to bring my grandmother up here to be with my mother..

My uncle (whom disapeared for 10 yrs) mysteriously showed up a few months ago and decided that he was going to take over taking care of my grandmother.. he was really only interested in finding out if there was anything to be gained finacially... I think he finally got the message that there is no money.. because as much as he has been fighting me on this.. he finally agreed to let me take care of the situation..

Now it could have been the word or seventy that I had with the director of the nursing home yesterday.. I was originally the person responsible for my grandmother's care.. until my uncle showed up out of the blue and declaired himself to be in charge.. I informed the director that my brother and I both want what is in the best interest of our grandmother and that we are willing to fight to get that... Today.. he was all pleasantries and niceties..

Hmmm I am thinking that my educated redneck approach to some things is sometimes exactly what certain situations call for..I don't really care what the reasons are behind this sudden change of attitude on both my uncle's and the director's part.. all I care about is that I can get my grandmother in June.. I have already started the paperwork to get her in the same facility that my mother is in.. I think it will be wonderful to have them both here where family can visit and where I can go get them and take them shopping or to dinner.. and they will have each other while they are there.. My grandmother will be 92 this August.. I have the honor of sharing her birthday.. I am already looking forward to this year's celebration.. with her and my mom..

Y'all have fun..

Strength

There have been so many things in my head as of late that I have not been able to vocalize, write, or other wise deal with.. Perhaps I can put it all together now and get it gone..

The first and foremost thing on my mind right now is Ron.. he hasn't been himself lately and I don't know what to do to fix it.. I am a fixer.. I fix people.. that is what I do that is what I have always done..

When someone I love hurts, grieves, loses.. I always seem to be able to help them fix themselves.. I don't see this as anything special.. It is just what I do.. I honestly cannot remember a time in my life that I didn't want to fix everything and everyone..

Then there is me.. I have never been able to fix myself.. Right now with my wrist the way it is.. the inability to work.. the depression that comes with that.. I don't even feel like I am taking care of myself. This is a hard pill for me to swallow... I know I have Ron to lean on.. I know he is there.. but for me.. I have never needed anyone.. I have never trusted anyone.. therefore feeling the way that I do it is difficult for me to admit how much he takes care of me without telling myself that I am not taking care of me..

Then there are the kids.. I am worried sick about my son Christopher.. He is in FL and he isn't doing any better there than he was here.. I know he is technically an adult.. but he is still my child, my heart, my blood.. I don't care how old he is, he will always be these things.. Then there is Sierra's pregnancy, which is going fine but I still can't help but worry about her physical well being.. her future..the baby.. finances.. you know the usual.... Chelsea and Kyle don't pose much worry right now.. they are both doing fairly well in school.. Kyle moreso than Chelsea.. but, at the moment there are no major issues with the two of them...

Then there is the matter of my Ex.. he makes me nuts.. I don't want my kids to lose their relationship with him.. he is their father.. I want them to know that they can count on him too.. and he seems to think that because he misses his kids so much, he can't keep in contact with them because it hurts him too much.. I have tried to explain to him what he puts our children through is worse than any pain he might suffer because when he doesn't call, they see it as Daddy doesn't care.. but either he is too blind or too immature to see that..

Ron is good to my kids.. I know he loves them.. he has never tried to take the role of "daddy" away from my ex.. and never would.. but for the kids.. Ronnie not calling.. not being there for them makes them distrustful of all father figures.. here in lies one major problem around here..

Ron has a different parenting style than mine.. I am rather laid back.. I disclipline differently.. On the whole we are just different.. that is neither a good thing or a bad thing.. it is just a thing, and when the kids see the difference they naturally "side" with me.. and the last thing I want is little opposing camps all over the place..

There are times when I don't want to deal with all of this.. I go find a book and hide.. I know that Ron is there.. I know that one word from me .. he would hold me and let me know that it is ok.. but I can't bring myself to ask.. I have to be strong.. I have to be tough.. I don't want to lose that part of me because if I do.. I am afraid there will be nothing of me left.. I don't know how to be anything else.. so therein lies one of the most fundemental problems.. I know how to be there for those that I love.. I know how to take care of everyone.. I know how to help them heal.. I can be as strong as I need to be for as long as I need to be as long as someone I love needs me to be.. but I cannot be weak for me for any reason.. I can't let someone else be strong for me.. I simply don't know how..

Blue..

I wonder why when you are sad they say you are blue.. ? It makes no sense to me.. to me.. Blue is the sky.. the color of Ron's eyes.. the ocean on a clear day.. to me blue is a happy color..I think of none of these things when I am sad..

To me when you are sad you should be feeling gray.. Gray is a blah, nothing color.. It is the bruised sky of a storm.. it is a rough and rocky sea.. it is washed out, devoid of the richness that would make it black..not enough light to make it white... that is how I feel when I am sad.. Nothing as cheerful as blue for me..

Don't worry .. I am fine.. I was just pondering.. and that is what my mind came up with.. pondering is a dangerous thing for me.. it can take me to some of the strangest places.. but I do have to admit.. I love my aimless wonderings in my mind.. the never knowing which way my thoughts will go... never having a destination in mind and always just grateful for the ability to think.. to free myself to my thoughts.. good, bad or indifferent.. for me .. this is a normal part of who I am.. I wouldn't change it if I could.. so.. if every now and then I seem to have come upon a darker place I want to write about.. Don't worry.. I am sure the Tammy mind machine will embark on a happier journey real soon.

Have fun Y'all..

Today has been a lazy day.. I have completed all the housework I needed to do this morning.. with the exception of laundry.. that is one task that is never complete.. anywho.. so I didn't feel much like watching TV.. I didn't feel like writing.. I didn't feel like doing much of anything so I laid down for about an hour.. It did me some good.. I got up feeling a bit refreshed and a bit less lazy.. but it is raining and dreary outside I have a suspicion that lazy will return..

Sierra has a job interview at 2:30.. I have no problem with her working while she is pregnant I really don't like the idea of her being on her feet for 6 to 8 hrs per shift but, if it is what she wants to do then I am all for it.. Jordan got a little upset this morning when Sierra talked about not going to the interview.. she was thinking of the fact that her work schedule may not be centered around her how Sierra feels today schedule.. he was concerned about the fact that he is working.. (barely) and that he is feeling overwhelmed at all the financial responsibilities.. my answer to him is .. you know if you didn't want to be responsible you should have kept it in your pants..

Anyway.. while we are out I will make a quick dash into some store to get toothpaste.. (the only thing we are out of at the moment) then to get Kyle and back to get Sierra.. I don't have to pick Chelsea up on time today.. she missed a test while she was out of school last week with pink eye so she will be staying late to make that up..

Well that is about it for my day.. how is your day?

Sympathy Pains

For the last couple of weeks I have been having sympathy pains for Sierra... I have been running to the bathroom every few minutes.. I have been eating everything that I can eat.. I have even had a few days of nausea.. but by far the worst of the sympathy pains has to be the sit around and cry for no reason ones..

This morning.. I was watching the Molly Ringwold movie "For Keeps".. and I bawled through most of the movie.. I don't have a clue why.. Could it be that the movie is about a pregnant teenager and her boyfriend trying to make a life together? Who knows.. all I do seem to know is I bawled for what seemed like an hour..

I am not given to crying jags for the most part.. now, I am very soft hearted.. I cry at Hallmark commercials.. but just to sit around and boo hoo for no reason is not generally something I do.. only explaination I have for this behavior is to blame it on Sierra.. I am sure that she has done something I haven't caught her doing that would make me cry..

Anyway.. I think I will go buy a box of Kleenex and try to get some housework done..

Have a good day Y'all

No Time To Say Hello Goodbye I'm Late....

That is my theme song for this week .. I have been rushed.. run around.. and other wise in a hurry all week long.. I will be so glad when this week is over.. all I really want to do is go to sleep for a bit.. say 3 days...

Long story short.. I have been trying to help Jordan find another job.. yep folks it's true.. that boy is unemployed AGAIN... I have been taking kids to the doctor.. Chelsea has pink eye.. and Kyle's allergies are acting haywire.. I have been paying bills.. yeah that is a fun trip.. I have been talking to mortgage people.. looking to buy a home sometime or another maybe... I have been calling my attorney for workers comp.. trying to see if there is a chance of me getting some medical care.. my wrist is not getting better it is getting worse.. and I am tired of being in pain all the time.. and then I have been trying to do some much needed spring cleaning too.. hopefully my week will calm down after I go to court for my son today.. I only have one more appt this week.. that one is with the psycho teacher of Chelsea's.. tomorrow at 12:30.. I will let ya'll know how that one turns out.. anywho.. time to get on the road again..

Have a great day...

Dangit Monday Again

Ya know.. I know Monday is coming.. I know that the weekend will fly by.. I know that intellectually.. but part of me keeps hoping that I can just stay in bed a bit longer on that day that follows sunday.. I keep thinking .. I know it isn't Monday yet... it can't be.. it was just Friday last night..

Anyway.. Today started out ok.. and went sorta downhill from there... Jordan would not get up this morning.. he is trying to convince me that he can be responsible but the boy won't get out of the bed in the morning.. yeah.. Mr Responsibility there..

Kyle got up with some kind of bug this morning.. so he has been home all day running the mouth at top speed.. funny.. he can have a fever of 102 and still feel like talking nonstop.. I don't feel like running off at the mouth that much if I am that sick.. but maybe that is just a 9 yr old thing..

Jordan finally got up and we were off and running.. I had some things to do today.. and where he wanted to job hunt was on my way so it worked out well .. I am not going out of my way anymore to help this kid.. he needs to learn to help himself. He put in his apps.. I did my thing.. we came back home because Sierra needed to go to the bathroom and I needed to check the mail.. after that is when things got a little haywire..

Sierra has been complaining for days that she needs shoes.. so I took her to find shoes.. nothing suited her.. nothing was the right color, price, size.. or whatever talk about pregnancy moodiness.. wow.. Kyle also needed a pair of shoes.. he was easy.. easy size.. easy price.. got them..

I have been looking for a shower caddy.. you know the thing I mean.. hangs over the showerhead.. holds things.. well it seems as how no one else knows what they are.. I am in wal mart.. I ask an associate in there.. he tells me in very broken english.. that he has no idea what they are or where they would be if he did know..So.. I then find another associate.. she tells me .. again in very broken english.. that she doesn't know what they are but they are in housewares or hardware.. I gave up at that point , paid for Kyle's shoes and left.

My ex husband sent me a money order for his half of Kyle's school pictures.. and makes the thing payable to me.. this wouldn't have been a problem if he had sent it before today and I would have had a chance to cash it.. the problem is.. the order was due today.. and I have no where to cash it.. they won't take a check.. and I didn't have that much cash on me.. so I stopped at the store down the street that advertises they sell Western Union Money Orders.. I go in.. and ask if they cash them.. she tells me no.. and that they don't even sell them.. now this is a place that has the logo all over the store advertising Western Union.. and the fact that she was telling me this in very broken english pretty much was it for me today.. I called the portrait place and asked them what they wanted me to do.. they said just endorse it and that would be fine.. I was like thank you..

We finally made it back home.. where I did some minor cleaning.. and more laundry.. and where I will be sitting down quietly for a little bit until time to go get Chelsea..

Have a great day Y'all

Back to Semi Normal

Today I feel mostly like my old self again.. I got out and about.. did some things that I needed to do.. nothing exciting.. bill paying and such.. took a run to Nicholasville to see Audrey.. and just did the things that comprise a normal housewife's day..

Ron came home for a bit this morning to go downtown with me to renew Audrey's tags for her car.. that was a bonus morning for me.. got to spend more time with my honey.. we had a good time.. but then again.. we have a good time no matter what we are doing.. he then dropped me off at home and headed back out.. that is when my running began..

I don't know if it was the getting outta the house or the sunshine or the fact that I am as I type getting rid of some ugly lil gray monsters that have sprouted in my hair... but, whatever the reason.. I feel much better today.. none of that poor pitiful me thing going on.. I like this much better.. Told ya'll the sassy , smartass me that you have come to know would be back soon.. look out..

Well y'all have fun.. I'm out of here..

Rainy Days

It is a rainy, cold, dreary day outside.. so I have decided to not get out there in it.. There are things that I need to do outside.. I need to clean up the yard.. but that can be delegated to a kid later.. I need to go see my mom..I am going tomorrow.. It is warm and cozy in the house.. so I think that going to get the kids will be about the extent of my roaming today..

I haven't even put on real shoes today.. I found the cutest pair of house slippers over the weekend.. they are big, fluffy, pink tennis shoe looking slippers and for a change they are in my size... I have big feet..when I find shoes of any kind in my size that suit my personality and are cheap I tend to get them.. anyway.. the pink fuzzies are good enough for today.. I will have to put on shoes to go get the kids.. but they can come off when I get back home..

I am also wearing Ron's purple sweatshirt... I love wearing his clothes.. they are warmer than my clothes.. it makes no sense to me.. he is always warm.. I am always cold.. yet he has all the warmer clothes and never wears them.. good thing he keeps them around for me though.. His clothes are bigger than mine too.. roomy and comfy.. and there is just something incredibly sexy about wearing your man's clothes.. and it keeps ya feeling close when he isn't home.. at least that is my take on it..

All of the above is paired with my favorite jeans.. they are a size too big.. and really long on me.. they just feel good the way only a favorite pair of jeans can feel.. you know the ones.. the ragged out, faded, hole bearing jeans.. that you would never dream of parting with.. It is amazing how much comfort you can get from your favorite clothes..

I curled my hair last night.. got up this morning feeling like I was in the third grade again.. neck hurting from sleeping in curlers and all tangled up in them.. I took it down.. Ron's reaction was to call me "shirley" I told him it would not look like that when he got home.. funny.. he got this really relieved look on his face.. after he left for work I went into the bathroom and realized why... I looked like a red poodle was sleeping on my head.. not good.. I am happy to say that the poodle has been tamed and now is a shiny mop of red waves and loose curls.. You will like it honey..

Well now that I have discussed everything from the weather to hair.. I think I'll go make a cup of coffee and go have a smoke on the porch.. Have a good day all..

Blah Blah Blah

Have you ever had one of those I just don't want to do a damn thing days?... That is me to a tee today..

I have been restless for the last few days.. I don't know what I am doing.. what I want to do.. or why I even bother to think about wanting to do things in the first place.. I feel like a compass without that is outta whack.. I just keep spinning and spinning with no particular destination in mind..

This isn't about Ron.. he is wonderful.. this isn't about the kids.. for the most part they are wonderful.. this is about me..

I am having a lot of coping issues with not being able to work.. I have worked all of my life.. since I was 13 yrs old.. I don't know how to not work.. I don't know how to not make "my own money" I don't know how to depend on someone else to pay the bills, buy the groceries, buy my kids things, or any other financial need.. and I have a lot of trouble with asking Ron for money.. well not asking exactly but telling him I need money.. especially if it is something strictly for me..

I know it seems silly.. we are married.. we are two halves of a whole.. we share everything including money.. it is just hard for me because I have never been in a position in my life where I couldn't do it all on my own.. not that Ron isn't a wonderful provider.. he is.. I just don't feel like I contribute much.. if anything other than taking care of the kids and the house..

We are not destitute.. we however could use the money that I could be making if I could go back to work.. who couldn't.. It would take some of the worry wrinkles out of my honey's forehead if he didn't have to carry the full load.. (he carries it well and willingly) he never complains about my inability to return to work..he never makes me feel like I am a burden to him..

Most men would have run kicking and screaming from the thought of marrying a woman with 4 children in the first place but not my Ron.. he took on the responsibilities of them when he took on the challenge of being in my life.. and never has he uttered one word of complaint or woe about doing so.. he is a champion among men..

My thing is.. I worry.. I worry about everything.. I may have mentioned this a time or two in other posts..(now I am worried about being repetitive)..anyway.. I hate not being able to depend on me to provide for myself and my children.. I hate not being able to contribute financially to the well being of my family.. I hate not having my "own" money.. it just makes me crazy..

Last night I paced the house a million times.. I usually pace when I am highly pissed off.. but I also do it when I feel useless and aimless.. I don't know what to do with myself.. anyone got any good ideas what a person can do with little or no use of their right hand.. to make a buck or two?

Ok.. I think I am finished venting.. bear with me .. these things don't usually last more than a week..and then I will be back to my usual smartassed, sassy self...

Until then.. y'all have fun

Anniversary

For those of you that don't know.. Ron and I have been married for 18 months today... Happy Anniversary to us...

Yes, I know there are those that know us well that this post will nauseate but that's ok.. you know how Ron and I are....

The last 3 yrs with Ron have been wonderful..I never knew that a relationship could be the way it is with Ron.. we don't fight.. we rarely argue.. we respect each other and ourselves enough to agree to disagree when we need to.. We can talk about anything and everything and often do.. we don't have to be together all the time we just prefer each other's company.. we each give the other room when we need it.. and neither of us wants the other to change who they are.. we like us the way we are now.. and it has been that way from day one ( Long John Silver's)..

When Ron and I had our first real conversation I knew that this man.. this wonderful man would be someone that I would be friends with if nothing more.. but I could already see a glimmer of that something more in his eyes that were reflecting what he saw in mine.. We just seemed to click.. I don't believe in love at first sight.. but I do believe in serious like at first talk.. if that makes any sense...

Over the last 3 years we have grown together in so many ways that he is as much a part of me as my breath.. when he is not here I still feel him around me.. When he is beside me it feels like I am the complete person I was always supposed to be.. he doesn't make me who I am.. he makes me the more complete version of who I want to be.. that is a good thing..

So for all of you that think I am silly for celebrating an 18 month anniversary.. GET OVER IT.. and for those of you that now are seriously ill at your stomach.. oops.. but I make no apologies for loving my husband the way that I do.. and for being loved by him in a way I never knew or never thought could exist for me..

Y'all have fun..

Full Moon?

I am beginning to think that it is a full moon or something.. Malcolm has lost his 80lb boxer mind.. It all started a couple weeks ago.. there is a female pit bull in heat 3 houses down.. Now I know it is instinct for him to want to pay her a visit.. and that the owners should keep her secured.. but there are other things making me think this dog is going insane.. he runs off to see her.. he has started wanting to run out in the middle of the road.. he kicked his daddy's butt the other day.. and yesterday I had the puppy kenneled while I was gone and when I came home there were shredded paper towels all over the place.. my first thought was.. "BUSTED". I am beginning to think I need to send him to doggie military school.. or doggie boot camp..

There is really not a lot else going on today.. got my Lincoln back from the auto shop guys at Ron's school.. thanks guys... and I got to have lunch with my honey today.. that is always a good thing.. I love seeing him in the middle of the day.. well I like seeing him anytime..

Most of the day other than the trip to school has been running to get things for Jordan's apt. upstairs.. he needs to steam clean... he needed a new toilet assembly.. both of which he got today.. I think I hear steam cleaning above my head as we speak.. cool.. hmmm wonder if he would bring it down and let me use it first... anyway.. I'm outta here

Spring Break

Spring break changes when you grow up.. and personally.. I think that really bites.. I mean.. what was wrong with going to the beach, checking out the guys, getting sunburned and then partying until 3 in the morning to get up at noon the next day and do it all over again..

My teenagers wanna sleep til noon.. they have that part down.. then they want to hang around here with me.. Don't get me wrong.. I love hanging with my kids.. and I know we aren't rich so they can't go shopping or to the movies everyday but dang.. When I was their age the last place I wanted to be was with my parents.. Chelsea and J. hang out on the couch watching tv.. Sierra and Jordan hang out upstairs cleaning and whatever else it is that they do.. she is pregnant so it ain't hard to figure out some of their activities.. Kyle usually hangs in the house with me playing on the computer or video games in his room.. unless Caimon and David come over and then he is off and running out the door.. ok so I have one semi normal kid..Chris was the same way when he lived at home.. always in the house.. always sleeping or watching tv when he was on a break from school.. I swear if I didn't have to go to the store and such these kids would never leave the house.. I just don't get it..

In other news.. Kyle is having a blast at work with Ron.. I knew he would.. and from the sound of Ron when he has called today he is having just as much fun as Kyle.. that is a good thing.. I love it that those two hang out so well together..

My brother that lives in Arizona called a couple weeks ago.. It was great to talk to him and his wife Karin.. I really miss them both a lot.. Calvert and I didn't get to grow up together.. family issues and all that.. so it has only been since we have both basically been adults that we have gotten to know each other and become close.. I wish that we lived closer to visit more often but his job keeps him too busy and my kids and life keep me too busy.. but who knows.. maybe one day Ron and I will be sitting around doing nothing and decide a 2000 mile road trip sounds like a good thing.. Ron sent him the link to both our blogs so now the poor man probably thinks his little sister has completely gone off the deep end.. but that's ok.. I have never been normal..

That is about all I can type today.. the vacuum and I had a misunderstanding today and my wrist is paying for it.. Y'all have fun..

Dang Todd

Well I know I have said I hate to miss blogging.. but I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.. between the running up and down the road and a new case of the "funk" I just haven't had a lot of time

Todd is the reason for my new case of the "funk".. he came to a party that we attended Saturday night.. The party was fun.. the food was good.. the company was good.. the "funk" is not. I have spent the better part of today running to the bathroom to do things that I would rather not discuss here... I am thinking of getting a pillow and just sleeping in there.. would be easier than running back and forth..

Kyle is going to school with Ron tomorrow.. that should be fun for both of them.. Kyle adores Ron and loves spending one on one time with him.. he likes being Dad's big guy.. and Ron adores Kyle.. he had 3 daughters with his first wife.. so having a son is a new experience for him.. he is a great dad..

Anywho.. time for me to get off here and head back to my throne of the day.. hopefully this will be gone by tomorrow..

y'all have fun

Still Alive

I know a lot of you that read my blog must think I have died. I am still here I just haven't had the time to blog over the last week. I won't bore ya with the details of the entire week.. I'll just sum up..

It has been a long but good week.. This is my 3rd day this week coming to work with Ron.. I don't usually do much while I am here.. I get a book and sit and read it for hours.. You know the kinds of things I can't get away with at home.. there are no kids (usually) to fuss at.. there is nothing that I need to clean.. No laundry.. and I get to spend the whole day talking with Ron.. what could be better than that.. I told him yesterday that I wanted to climb up on one of the tables and go to sleep.. He said that being on the tables was against the rules.. I told him sleeping in class was too...he assured me that no in fact it is not against school rules to sleep in class.. so I did.. No I didn't climb on the table.. but you remember that whole putting your head down on the desk pretending that you are reading thing that you used to do in school? Well let me tell ya.. I was good at it then... and I seem have not forgotten how to do it.. head on the desk , book in front of me... Im out like a light... anyway. I have enjoyed getting some much needed Tammy time off from being in the house most all the time..

On Wed. Sierra, Jordan and I went to Louisville for Jordan's orientation for his job..It was a fun trip... I love to drive.. and I enjoy being with my kids so we had a good time.. We dropped Jordan off at work and went shopping.. (there goes the bank acct.).. we actually didn't spend much money.. just enjoyed window shopping..

Jordan was outta there by 1pm so we headed home.. we picked up Kyle and Chelsea and rushed off to Sierra's Dr's appt to have her first ultrasound.. Yes I now have pictures of my unborn grandbaby.. If I ever figure out how to put pics on my blog I will share them.. Ultrasound has changed a lot in the last 9 years since my last baby.. the resolution is wonderful nowdays we could see the head and the arms and legs and the sweet little heartbeat.. it was way cool and lots of tears all over the room. We left there and called Ronnie to tell him that we have pics of the grandbaby which I have all ready to mail to him.. I want him to be as much a part of our daughter's pregnancy that he can be given the circumstances and distances...

The rest of the week seems to have flown by.. I am not flying with it.. I have been tired most of the week and don't know why .. thinking I am doing too much running around and such.. but that is just the way my life goes.. I stay busy.. OK so I have been a bit lazy for 3 days this week.. but believe me the other 2 have more than made up for it...

Thinking I need to get back over to the desk and do some more"reading" y'all have fun..

Me in a Nutshell

Ok.. with all the all about me blogs going on thought I would jump on the bandwagon.. here goes everything you wanted to know about Tammy but were afraid to ask.. you will most likely be bored to tears by the end of the list.. my apologies in advance..
1. I am 36 a fact I don't have a problem with.
.2. I am not a natural redhead I should have been with my personality so loreal makes the corrections
3. My children mean everything to me..
4. I love the people I love with all that I am.
5. Music is as much a part of me as breathing
6. I miss Florida
7. I am a native of Kentucky (Lexington) to be exact
8. I love my hometown...
9. I was married at 16 the first time and was married for 18 yrs.
10. I spoil my kids.
11. Ron is my angel.. My heart.. My Poet..
12. I feel 20 most of the time
13. I am fiercly independent..
14. I am strong willed
15. I don't like inactivity
16. I actively hate liars and sneaky people
17. Laziness bugs me
18. I will go out of my way to help someone..
19. I think mostly with my heart
20. Number 19 gets me into trouble
21. I am a democrat on most issues
22. I am a feminist
23. I am also old fashioned
24. I don't like TV for the most part
25. I do love movies
26. I read about 4 to 5 novels a week sometimes at the same time
27. I have owned more cars than I can count
28. I currently drive a Chevy Astro, Lincoln Towncar, or Oldsmobile Bravada
29. My first car was a 1969 Grand Prix
30. My favorite color has always been pink
31. I believe in magic
32. I believe that children need fantasy
33. I am a Kentucky Wildcats fan
34. I love basketball and football
35. My favorite football team is the Denver Broncos..
36. My favorite basketball team is the Orlando Magic
37. I hate depending on someone else to pay my bills or support me
38. I am grateful that Ron understands this
39. I do not fit any mold
40. I am a redneck
41. I am not a rasist
42. I hate to ask for help
43. I don't like not working
44. I am prone to depression
45. I don't let it get me down long
46. I am happy about having a grandbaby in Nov..
47. I am not happy about my 16 yr old daughter being pregnant
48. I think my mother was one of the most beautiful women ever
49. I think my daughters are going to be even more beautiful
50. I am stubborn
51. I am a bit ditzy at times
52. I used to be fat
53. I am not fat now. but I am still me
54. I am glad that my ex husband and I don't fight all the time anymore
55. I wish he would be more in contact with the kids
56. I understand why he isn't
57. I have 7 children I love them all ..
58. My nails are fake.. but I have really short fingers so they look better with nails
59. I am 5'8 inches tall..
60. I love being tall
61. I love rings..
62. I don't wear much makeup even when going out.
63. I have 2 degrees one in Business Admin.. and one in Computer Science
64. I am also a licensed hairstylist and nail tech
65. I wear a 34a bra..
66. I don't have a butt either
67. I have enough hips to make up for it
68. I love to snuggle with Ron
69. My favorite food is whatever we make in the kitchen
70. I still love food.. just can't eat much of it
71. It sometimes pisses me off that I can't eat much.
72. I am a loyal friend and a formidible enemy
73. I often act based on feelings rather than logic
74. I believe in the possiblity of UFO's
75. I believe in the bible.
76. I think the world is over all a wonderful place
77. I have been homeless, hungry, and at rock bottom
78. I am still here.
79. I know there is more to me than this list.. but my wrist is killing me.. anything else anyone wants to know.. keep reading my blog or hell e mail me and ask.. I am overall pretty friendly.. Have a good one all..

Not Repeating Myself

Oh yeah.. I was not repeating myself yesterday.. the www.. really did eat the original post.. don't know what is up with it.. my apologies..

Synopsis of A Lost Blog

I blogged earlier today.. apparently when the www said that the page couldn't be found.. the monster that is AOL ate my blog.. not that there were any words of wisdom there or any profound messages or insights to be found.. I am just an average housewife after all.. It just ticked me off that I lost it..

Basically.. it was this.. We found a good doctor for Sierra.. Chelsea has an injured knee. she has a good doctor too.. The kids at Kyle's school love Ava.. the teachers do not.. and this has turned out to be a good week after all so far.. ok.. that's the synopsis.. have a good one all...

Doctors.. Daily Events.. So on and So Forth

It has actually turned out to be a good week.. after Monday's doctor visit.. I hoped that was not a forboding of the week to come.. thankfully it wasn't..

I scheduled an appointment for Sierra with a different doctor.. we went yesterday afternoon.. They are wonderful.. they took time to explain things to Sierra.. to get a complete history... and to make sure she was comfortable.. they also gave her a wealth of information on child birth.. and did not look down their noses at her for being 16 and pregnant.. she was treated the same as any other patient.. I liked that..

Doctor # 2 of the week was today.. apparently Chelsea has done something to her knee.. we don't know what.. I tried to get her in with her regular dr yesterday , by regular doctor I mean the one that her insurance says is her primary care provider.. not that they have ever seen her.. anyway.. I was told there were no appointments available.. then I called the UTC (urgent treatment center) where my kids are supposed to go if they can't be seen at their doctor's office.. I was told they cannot see my children because the insurance has not paid for the last few visits yet.. so.. I called the insurance provider and yelled at them for a bit.. telling them that yes .. I could take her to the ER and that would cost them 3 times as much.. if that is what they preferred.. ok.. they told me they would get back with me..

This morning.. I called the primary care provider.. and miraculously.. they had an immediate opening.. and got her right in... We got there.. filled out forms.. and were called back.. the doctor was very nice.. very personable.. and looked like my brother.. it was a good visit.. he took time with chelsea.. he doesn't know exactly what is going on with her.. but at least I felt like he does care..

Then we came home .. picked up Sierra and Jordan and took him to open a bank account.. from there it was off to Wally World for a knee brace for Chelsea.. as I walked in the door I knew the checking account was in danger.. they had all the Easter baskets lined up along a huge wall on the right.. I saw the perfect one for Kyle.. and got the girls one too.. yeah I know honey.. off spending your money while you are working so hard to educate young minds.. anywho.. I got all the required Easter things.. and we made our way back home.. I decided to blog a bit..

We are almost ready to go off again.. gotta get Chelsea's prescription, get a mouse for Ava, and pick up the Kyle.. wow.. it has been a bit of a busy day.. the funny thing is...the tiredness that has been plaguing me for the last few weeks seems to be MIA today.. hopefully it stays gone... well .. that is about it for the day.. y'all have fun..

Under The Pier

Looking out over the expanse of violet blue..
Warm breezes caress my skin in an embrace..
Salty kisses from the ocean's mist gently touch my face..
The breath of the sea blows it's fingers through my hair..

Cool waters rushing in to tickle my toes..
Melting the sands like brown sugar..
To carry it over to some distant shore
On the other side of the horizon..

Is there some other lover of the night..
Gazing across the magnificent water..
Seeking solace, finding comfort..
Peeking out from under their pier

Smiling back at me..

Tammy S.
March 23, 2005




This was brought about by a picture on another blog..
GUARDED LILLY

Ron told me that she wanted people to write about the pic and post it to their own blogs and leave her a link .. so here ya go.. hope you enjoy...

Have a good day...

Scary Schools

I have been reading all the latest developments about the school shooting yesterday.. It saddens me to think of all the loss of life and the loss of the sense of security that these children and teachers now have to face..They will never be able to go back to school without looking over their shoulder..

What happened to these kids that make them so indifferent to life.. why do they not care if they live or die or who they take with them.. I remember being a teenager.. I had the usual teenage angst.. boyfriends.. friends.. dramas.. but nothing in my experience could have made me even think of ending the life of my school mates or myself...

The ones that are left behind always say.. "he was picked on" ya know.. so was I .. I was a fat kid with curly hair, pimples, glasses and an IQ of 152.. if that doesn't get ya picked on nothing will.. and I was tormented by some of the kids at school.. I came home in tears at times.. I spent whole days crying in school.. but never did I think the solution was to get an AK and take out the student body..

Maybe it is just me..maybe I just don't understand how empty a person would have to be in order to even think like that.. My son sometimes scares me.. he seems to care about nothing.. he seems to want nothing out of life.. and the really scary part is.. most of his friends are the same.. this generation of kids don't seem to have any joy in their lives and if they do they don't know how to appreciate it.. if they are our future.. frankly.. this country is screwed.. there is nothing Mr. Bush can do to screw it up as badly as if one of these lost kids gets in a position of power.. and he is really trying..

I wish I had an answer for why these kids think this way.. TV? bad parenting? environment? genetics? who knows.. maybe it is a combination of all of these things.. do we spare the rod/spoil the child.. do we give them time outs.. do we award them for every little thing they do.. do we teach them old fashioned values? what can we do..??

And to think.. I didn't have a thing to blog about today..

Paging Doctor Slug

Dr. Garden Slug.. Paging Dr. Slug..Ok.. I know that doctors get old.. I know they sometimes get burned out.. I also know with all of the HMO and Insurance things going on the practice of medicine ain't what it used to be.. but OMG when did all of that make it illegal for a doctor to have a personality.. I took Sierra for her first prenatal appt today.. we got there 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork.. there was only one sheet..I thought that was a bit strange for an OB appt but it has been 9 yrs since I had a baby.. maybe things have changed a bit.. we got called to the back where Sierra was weighed and asked a few preliminary questions about her health.. then we were told that the doctor had not arrived to work yet and that we could wait out in the lobby or back in the room whichever we chose.. we chose to wait outside in the van..

We went back inside.. waited about 10 mins and Sierra was called to the back once again.. I did notice that this was the least busy OB's office I have ever seen in my life.. but then again.. I thought.. could just be a slow day.. anywho.. we were seated in the cubicle and waited for the doctor.. he came in about 5 minutes later.. He introduced himself to Sierra.. asked and received my name and relationship to her.. and promptly sat down to ask a series of questions... now.. I haven't mentioned thus far that this man could have easily delivered my mother.. he was about 110 yrs old.. he proceeds with his questions.. in extreme slow motion.. Sierra does not know a lot of the family medical history so I answered the questions that she couldn't.. he seemed annoyed at that..

Then he asked her when she dropped out of school.. she didn't drop out.. she is homeschooled.. he then informed us that he does not believe in homeschooling.. I said.. Ok.. and let it drop.. then he tells us that most girls never amount to anything when they drop out.. I told him.. I got married when I was 16.. I was told I would never graduate or go to college.. and I managed to do both.. receiving degrees in both business admin and computer science.. If I can do it.. so can my daughter.. he didn't like that.. then he told us that a GED is not the same as a diploma.. I wanted to say no.. In the state of KY it is better.. KY ranks about 47th in education nationwide.. the GED is a nationally standardized test.. In KY the GED is actually proof of a better education.. but I held my tongue.. (not an easy thing for me).. he asked a few more questions and told Sierra she needed an ultrasound and with that we were dismissed...

I have had 4 kids.. I have been pregnant 5 times.. never have I been to an intial prenatal visit where they didn't take any blood/urine tests or do a pelvic exam.. what kind of doctor is this guy.. we left with an ultrasound appointment and the determination to find her another doctor..

The first thing I did when I got home was get on the phone.. I called a couple of places.. one has a nurse midwife.. they said they would take Sierra.. so we are gonna try again Weds.. That was the strangest doctor I have ever met.. I was really creeped out by him .. Sierra said he made her skin crawl..

I don't want this man anywhere near my grandbaby. or my daughter for that matter.. I am not a picky person.. I can deal with almost anything.. but if someone makes me feel that uncomfortable in that short a period of time.. It is time to move on.. The rest of the day has been fairly good.. the usual kid running and housekeeping.. I am getting ready to go get the Chella .. and come home to fix supper.. I hope today's doctor's visit is not an indication of the week to come..

Oh yeah honey.. I am working on that picture you showed me.. watch for my take on it in an upcoming blog.. I love you..

Good Day

It has been a really good day.. well as good as a day can be with Ron being at work.... Jordan got a job.. this makes a lot of people happy.. we didn't think the day was going to be good today.. after applying at one construction place and being told that peircings were not acceptable to be a laborer.. and later trying to apply for a position with another construction company and being told that his pants were immature he really was starting to get discouraged and more than a bit pissed.. but I have to give him credit.. he handled it maturely and with a lot of self control..


We then decided to go check on his application at the local U Haul ... he filled it out online yesterday.. on the way we stopped at a yard sale.. Oh yeah.. It has been a yard sale weather day.. anyway.. we stopped and looked around.. they didn't have much that peaked my interest and we were starting to leave , there was a young couple trying to fit 3 chest of drawers in an oldsmobile cutlass.. I didn't see that working so I offered to haul a couple of them for them.. they were only going a few blocks.. they were really grateful.. we got the chests to the couples house and Jordan mentioned to the gentleman that he was looking for work.. the guy told him that he would let him know this afternoon about a labor position with his carpentry company.. see it is good to be nice sometimes..

We then went to U Haul and he went in.. talked to the manager.. and got the job.. he starts tomorrow.. at 7:30 am.. there is no way he is waking me up that early... Ron and I agreed that we would pay for bus fare for Jordan til he got his first check no matter where he started working.. so instead I put gas in my Lincoln.. and told him he can drive it to work tomorrow.. I don't mind taking him through the week..but oh no.. I am not getting up early if I don't have to...

We had another minor good thing happen today.. when I got in the Lincoln to go get gas.. I pushed the button for the passenger window which has been stuck in the down position for months.. and low and behold the thing just rolled right up.. The 3 of us just stared at it like a UFO was landing or something.. to us.. it was just a continuation of what turned out to be a pretty good day after all...

We all three wound up going for coffee with Russ... the kids talked to each other.. Russ and I talked about work.. and the unbloggable subject.. then he got involved in a conversation with a co worker.. we hung out until it was almost time for Kyle ... said later.. and rushed back across town to get the kiddo.. Gary was supposed to join us today.. but he was a no show.. Gary likes beer.. they don't sell beer at starbucks.. hence no Gary.. just kidding Gary.. anyway.. I came home to a bit of a mess from the dogs but nothing like yesterdays cyclonic activity... so they will live another day..

Time to get ready to cook dinner.. I don't have to get chelsea today.. I sent Jordan and Sierra to do it.. wooo hoo.. a few minutes off for me.. Y'all have fun..

I Really Hate Dogs..

I am not gonna kill the dogs.. I am not gonna kill the dogs... that is my mantra for today.. It is amazing to me that the dogs can manage to tear up so many things in such a short period of time.. we were gone about an hour.. and in that time there was mass destruction in my house.. the phone book.. the trash.. egg shells everywhere..toilet paper.. and a candle.. It is a wonder they didn't try to eat each other..

I know that Cleo is just a puppy... but what is Malcolms story? He is almost 2 yrs old.. and he never did things like this before.. I know he is involved.. I caught him the other day...I came in and he had a stuffed toy in his mouth.. He dropped it the moment he caught sight of me.. but that didn't take care of the fluff sticking out the sides of his mouth...and then he had the nerve to try and look innocent..yeah right... that is like Kyle when he was little.. he got into my hersheys kisses.. and with a chocolate covered face tried to tell me he had not been eating candy..

Ok... that is mostly out of my system.. the rest of the day has been fairly good.. not doing much of anything.. cleaning.. job hunting and the norm. I did do something for me today.. I went to GNC and got my protein supplement.. I am supposed to take in about 100 grams of protein a day ..that is dang near impossible to do with the limited amount of food I can eat.. So I have to drink the shakes.. that stuff is not only expensive..but all of it tastes like chalk...you would think something that costs that much would at least taste good.. not so with protein.. yuck.. but I like the alternative even less .. a slow painful death from protein starvation starting with the loss of muscle mass and progressing to the loss of muscle control.. anyone that says losing weight by having gastric bypass is taking the easy way out is simply out of their mind..

Well it is almost Kyle o'clock..I need to get a few things done around here.. like laying something out for dinner.. I have no clue what I am going to cook.. I am sure it will be something.. oh well wish me luck.. and pray for the dogs..

My Honey's Fix

Ok Honey.. here's yer Tammy blog fix... I don't really know what there is to blog about.. you have all the good words.. and use them well...

There hasn't been much of anything going on around here today.. same ole take the kids to school.. take Jordan job hunting.. get the house straightened up boring day.. My day doesn't really get going well until about 4:00pm when my honey comes home and I start the dinner cooking.. cleaning up after dinner.. winding down the day time.. I love having my kids and my honey home all at the same time..

I am getting ready to take Jordan on another job hunting foray and then it will be Kyle time.. he looks forward to the 40 minutes between him and Chelsea coming home.. he has mommy pretty much to himself.. that works out well for both of us.. he is a great kid..

Right now I am sitting here trying to pull myself away from this movie.. "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle" that is a really frightening movie.. remind me not to tick off the wife of an OB.. anywho.. time to get outta here..

There ya go baby.. there is your Tammy Blog fix.. now come home and get a Tammy in the waterbed fix..

It's About Time

I realized something in reading over past blogs.. I tend to tell time by what kid needs me to drop them off or pick them up .. I don't need a watch.. I seem to have this internal clock that tells me.. Kyle time.. or Chelsea time.. I am not sure when this happened.. I don't know when I started living my life according to everyone else's schedule.. It might have been when I first became a mom...It could have been when I still had a professional life.. I don't know.. but it is getting pretty bad.. sierra asked me a little while ago what time it was.. My answer was.. 10 minutes til Kyle.. I need serious help..

Ok.. now that that is out of my system... today has been a busy run around town sorta day.. My dryer had a heart attack over the weekend.. spewed lint all over my laundry room and refused to dry any more clothes.. With doing the laundry for 6 people I do feel for the thing.. however I need it to work.. so first thing this morning I was off looking for another dryer..dang those things are expensive... anyway.. in the midst of that.. Ron's dad called me to go downtown and get an eviction notice for one of his tenants.. growing up poor.. being on the other side of an eviction is new for me.. anywho.. I went downtown (looney lex drivers) and got told that I cannot file without his written permission.. so I had to go get him to sign a POA for me to do this for him.. and get it notarized.. the girl at the bank thought i was a little crazy asking her to come outside and do the notarization.. Dad didn't have his walker with him and couldn't make it inside.. but she was cool about it.. it is a beautiful day today.. That done we rushed back downtown.. (more idiots) and finally filed the paperwork.. I get to appear in court for him next week... I don't know if i got promoted from daughter in law to apt mgr.. or if i am being punished for something.. ok. I'm kidding.. I don't mind doing it at all .. I get tired of cleaning and running all over town for nothing....

None of this however solved my dryer dilema.. so.. I stopped at a few more places on my way home.. one place I stopped there was a really nice man.. he told me how to check my dryer to see if it was clogged.. I pulled the hose off the back and.. well all I can say is GROSSSSS.. that was disgusting.. the good news is.. I found 3.74 in change I gave it to Jordan for helping me pull the dang thing out from the wall... and for sticking his hand up in the hose.. and for helping me clean up the mess that was left after all the change sorting was done..I started it up and put some clothes in it.. they should be done in about 10 minutes or so.. actually I guess that would be Chelsea time.. hopefully they are dry and we won't have to buy another dryer.... uh oh.. there is the buzzer.. wish me luck..

Great Weekend

It has been a wonderful weekend so far.. Ron is feeling better.. other than sounding like he is about to hack up a lung every now and then he is better.. The kids have been mostly well behaved over the weekend.. no major drama for anyone..

Other than Sierra is trying to quit smoking.. Jordan has been supportive of her quitting.. he doesn't want her smoking while she is pregnant.. and since this is his child too.. I have to support his decision to not provide her with cigarettes.. and I won't provide them either..she is ticked about this decision on our part but she will get over it.. I quit with all 4 of mine..

Anyway.. Ron and I went to dinner Friday night and then watched part of the KY game with Russ and Gary.. then we came home to bed where we have pretty much stayed the entire weekend.. It has been like a mini vacation for us.. I like it.. but then again what woman wouldn't like staying in bed most of the weekend with the man that she loves and him telling her how beautiful she is.. how loved she is, all weekend long.. the man has a way with words..

He is sleeping right now.. and I am doing laundry ... cooking dinner.. cleaning house.. getting ready for the upcoming week .. I feel recharged.. I hope this doesn't mean that I will need this energy for the week.. But it is nice to know I have it if I do need it..

Well off to get my house in order.. Hope your weekend went as well as mine.. Y'all have fun..

Ok.. I Guess I'm Crazy..

I don't know what happened... but apparently the blog I thought I lost yesterday has miraculously appeared ..... don't know how or why.. but there is it... so for those that thought I had lost my mind when I said I tried and couldn't blog yesterday.. I ain't really crazy.. it said it was lost.. honest..

Daily Events and Coffee With Russ

I tried to blog yesterday but the beast that is the world wide web wouldn't let me.. I lost my post twice.. and no.. I didn't bother to back it up before attempting to publish here..so.. I just gave up.. there really wasn't that much to blog about anyway.. Just the days events.. and blah blah blah..

Not that there are any amazing things going on today.. I have just gotten into the habit of writing everyday and I sorta feel naked if I don't... not that naked is a bad thing..

Today started off in the usual rush around, hurry up way.. I came home and tried to take a nap.. but that wasn't in the stars for me apparently.. first the dog woke me.. insisting that there was someone or something at the door.. I got up to check.. nada... Then Sierra came through the house fussing at the dog.... then Chelsea called telling me of the dire emergency in her life.. she desperately needed her purse at school and had left it on the sofa in the living room.. and apparently her very life depended on my taking her purse to school.. so being the good mom that I am.. I gave up all hopes of a nap and took the purse..

From there Jordan, Sierra and I went to my In - Laws so Jordan could talk to my father-in-law about renting the upstairs apt by himself when the guy that is in there moves out.. He presented his case in an adult and responsible manner.. and was rewarded with the opportunity to rent the apt..

We came home and had lunch.. and as I was getting ready to blog Russ called.. he asked me out for coffee.. sounded like a good plan to me..( coffee always does).. not to mention I like Russ' company... we met at Starbucks and sat in the cool purple chairs drinking our coffee and talking to the entertainment of the other customers.. I left about 15 minutes til Kyle time.. picked him up and came home... Where I am finally able to write.. I feel better..

Well it is almost 20 til Chelsea.. so I had better get off here and get a few things done.. y'all have fun..

Almost the Weekend

It has been a pretty good day.. I didn't really have anything on my agenda to do to day other than pay one bill and clean house.. I knew that my daily plan could and would most likely change before the morning was half done.. but I still figured I might be able to sneak in a nap today..

The morning started out in it's usual way.. with one exception.. I didn't pack Ron's lunch last night so I had to do it this morning.. no sweat.. other than that I got up.. let the dogs out.. sent Ron off to work.. begged, pleaded and threatened Chelsea out of bed.. got them off to school.. and then my day's plan changed..

Jordan needed to go get his paycheck from the company that he was working for.. so we went out there only to find that the checks were not in yet.. I know I know.. I should have called.. but I don't always do what I should do... from there we went to pay the gas bill.. of all of our bills this is the one that I hate the most.. From our bill alone we could finance the government of a small third world company.. anyway..that done.. we returned home.. where I did a little.. and I mean very little housework.. and basically bs'ed around online for a bit.. then I realized.. Nap time...

After an hour and a half I awoke.. we headed back out to get Jordan's check..(yes we called first this time)... from there it was a quick stop at Walmart only to find that they don't cash checks from this company.. boy that is encouraging.. so we wound up driving all the way across town to the bank it was drawn on.. Jordan got cat and dog food.. and some other essential things that he needed for himself and Sierra.. and we rushed back across town to get Kyle from school..

We have now made it home.. and I did a bit more cleaning..(guilt set in) and decided to sit down and blog a bit.. If I miss a day's blogging now days I feel like I have forgotten an important part of my day.. anywho.. It is almost time to pick up miss Chella.. so.. for now.. I'm outta here..

Y'all have fun..

And Justice For All?

There has been a recent incident involving one of our other online groups.. Ron is a board member of this group.. and I am a moderator of the group.. so we are both in a position of authority for the group. He and I do not agree how this incident has been handled by the rest of the board.

The incident is as follows.. There is a man and a woman.. they were involved in a relationship.. she alleges that he didn't handle the break up well and has been stalking, threatening and harassing her.. from what I understand this has been going on for quite some time and she has just recently taken legal measures.. the man has been arrested..OK.. there is the back ground..

The situation is now that the group wants to rescind his membership and not allow him to attend group functions and to continue to allow her to have privileges of the group.. this is being done in the name of group safety..

Ron and I have a different view of this.. If one of them is suspended from the group because he poses a threat to a member.. the other should be suspended as well.. we do not have the right to condemn this man without benefit of a jury trial.. so far.. he has only been charged.. not convicted..If the charges are true, he poses a threat to the group, as well as the individual.. therefore, her presence at group functions poses a threat to the group as well.. that sucks but if the charges are true.. who knows what he might do at a function that he knows she is attending.. if group safety is really the issue.. this has to be considered

There is another side to the story.. we have heard from a source close to him that her version of events are not necessarily the way it went.. that the allegations are false.. If that be the case there is even more reason to suspend her membership as well.. false allegations can be just as devastating to the group as if the charges turn out to be true..

Wrongfully accusing someone of committing a crime like this against you ruins the life and reputation of the person you accuse.. trust me.. I have first hand knowledge of just how devastating it can be. Details of which I just don't feel like going into right now.. maybe another blog...

My point is.. this group is based on individual freedoms.. and for us as a group to exclude anyone based on allegations alone.. which are basically just one person's word against another.. and a few e mails.. (which can be altered) is going against all of the values for which not only our group stands for but our country as well .. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? If we are going to protect the group, which is what our job is.. we cannot take sides.. we cannot be judge , jury and executioner and the only way to assure fairness to all involved is to suspend both.. or neither..

The board voted 5-1 to revoke his membership.. and to further make an announcement to the group that any member charged with certain types of crimes will have their membership revoked as well .. Ron was the hold out vote.. I am considering resigning my membership to the group. I cannot in good conscience continue to support a group that is this willing to just believe everything they hear and be one sided on the issues without allowing both parties equal time to state their position..

Ok.. putting away my soapbox once again..

How was your day?

Life Goes On

Today has proven to me that no matter how stressed out a week like last week can be.. there is always something funny in it if you look for it..

On my way back from my parent's in laws house.. I was reaching into my coat pocket to find something.. it is a pocket I don't normally use.. and what do I find.. The Missing Debit Card.. lotta good that does now.. but glad I found it.. ok.. yeah this is the same coat that I have been wearing since the thing turned up missing.. and the one I was wearing when I lost it over a week ago.. and yes... I have checked the pockets over and over again looking for the thing.. but, this morning.. somehow.. there it was.. I had no choice.. I just busted out laughing..

Personally.. I don't think I would have made it through most of the things in my life without the ability to laugh at just about anything.. Thank God for knowing the healing power of humor..

Anyway.. we have one home sick today.. tummy ache.. head ache.. throat sore..slight fever.. Yes honey.. the Kyle is ill.. we have a rule in our house.. if you stay home from school.. you don't go out.. you don't play.. you stay in and rest so even though he is already grounded and this is sorta a mute point I don't think he was faking this morning (well not much) can't fake the fever.. I am hoping this will only be a 24 hr thing.. I don't think I am ready for someone else in this house to be down for a week again..

Glad my honey is back on the road to recovery and feeling more and more like himself.. C'mere baby lemme feel ya again.. ok.. Sorry again Russ.. can't help myself... OK.. thinking it is time for me to go do some laundry.. or dusting.. or something.. Have a good one my blogging friends...

Let the New Week Begin

Wow I am so glad last week is over.. It was sorta the week from hell.. I lost my debit card.. found out my daughter is pregnant.. lost my cell phone.. (chelsea actually lost it) .. Ron was sick.. It just wasn't the best week of my life..

This morning didn't start out too well.. Ron tried to sign on to AOL and it wouldn't let him.. so after calling the totally useless AOL customer service # and being put on hold and hung up on.. We discovered that it was our keyboard that was causing the problem..So after restarting the computer he finally got online only to discover that the mail he had really wasn't worth all the hassle in the first place..

Jordan came downstairs on time.. we loaded up the van .. Me , Sierra, and Jordan.. and we were off the same time that Ron departed for his first day back at work in a week.. ( Feel better baby).. we got Jordan to work .. and headed back here for the second wave of passengers for the morning.. Chelsea.. in her usual style .. did not want to get up.. Kyle was up and raring to go.. but he usually is.. finally.. I convinced Chelsea.. that after the week I had last week.. she really needed to cease and dissist or I could not be responsible for my actions... she thought that it might be a good idea to hurry after that point was made.. don't know why..

After dropping them off at school.. Sierra and I made it to the grocery store where her beginning cravings put a few extra items in the cart.. This is looking like it is gonna get expensive.. anyway.. we got our food.. and ran and errand.. and returned home .. I did some housework.. and put away the groceries.. wow .. it almost feels normal around here..

Ron called me a little bit ago.. he had my phone turned back on.. oh yeah.. we got a call last night.. a lady had found my phone in the middle of the road and actually called to return it.. OK.. so there are still honest people in this world.. that's good to know.. anyway.. Ron got it back on this morning.. I am back in communication.. yeeehaww... anyway.. I still have a million things to do.. I'm outta here.. Hoping for a nice boring week..(yeah right).. Y'all have fun..

Sunday , Sunday

Ok.. well I guess today will be the day that determines if Ron has sufficiently recovered enough to go back to work tomorrow.. I know how much he hates to miss work.. but when you are as sick as he has been.. you are sick.. and that is just all there is to it.. you can't make yourself be better when the germ has ya and wants to keep ya.. you just have to deal with it and fight it until it surrenders..

He is feeling better.. he doesn't sound as congested.. his voice is stronger.. however, he was running a fever last night.. and he is still coughing all night.. I went in to get his check Friday and his boss told me.. to not send him back til he is well.. so that is exactly what I am gonna do.. keep him here until he is better.. even if I have to tie him to the bed ( sorry Russ)..

The rest of the house seems to be re-settling and adjusting to the other situations that have been going on around here.. everyone seems to have gotten back up off of the floor from the pregnancy news and it is pretty much back to life as usual.. Kyle is still talking 90 miles a minute.. Chelsea is still being Chelsea.. the dogs are still making me and the DUDE crazy.. I think the only critter in this house that was totally unaffected was Ava.. she just kept right on being a snake.. guess being cold blooded ain't always a bad thing..

Well I guess I am gonna go see how my honey is feeling.. see if he needs anything.. hmm thinking.. he is feeling better.. wonder how he would like a nice sponge bath.. hmmmm .. (oops.. sorry Russ).. y'all have fun..

Time to Breathe

Whoa... It has been days and days since I have entered the kingdom of Blog.. sorry to have been away so long.. There have been issues.. and Drama.. and intrigue.. ok.. issues and drama.. no intrigue.. just basic life..

Ron is still sick.. poor thing.. ya know as intelligent as he is.. you would think that going to the dr. in the first day or 3 would have occurred to him.. finally today he went to the doctor.. here is the scoop.. both ears are infected.. he has congestion in his chest.. he has sinus issues.. hmmm I don't know bout you but .. sounds like the FLU to me.. he got a bunch of prescriptions.. over 200.00 worth.. and hopefully taking them he will be on his way to recovery...

The rest of the weeks drama revolved mainly around Sierra.. It seems.. well .. I'm going to be a grandmother come early November.. No this was not the news I wanted from my 16 yr old daughter.. but it's not like I can make them take it back.. It means that Sierra will have to grow up faster.. Jordan will have to grow up faster.. they will both become adults whether they like it or not.. they will have to take on the responsibility of another life besides their own.. Ron and I are both supportive of them.. we don't see the need or the value in getting upset about the situation.. It is what it is.. the best we can do now is support Sierra and Jordan and help them become the best parents they can.. I know a lot of people would not understand our take on this .. and that is ok.. I have this outlook due to the fact I have basically been on my own since I was 12.. I got married at 16 (no I wasn't pregnant) and I became an adult way too soon.. I didn't want this for my kids.. but I refuse to make her feel like she is not the same young woman that I admired and respected earlier this week .. I want her to know that I still love her just the same.. I still think she will be whatever she wants to be.. I just think it will be a lot more difficult..

Ron and I have explained all of this to Sierra and Jordan.. they understand they have our unwavering support and love.. This baby , while ill timed is still my grandchild.. and will be born surrounded by love.. Not all babies born to two adult parents can have that..... The difficulties that lie ahead I have faced myself and I will do everything in my power to help my daughter face them in a way that I didn't have.. With support and love..

They want to get married.. they have been wanting to get married for the last year of their now 2 yr relationship.. I don't know what decision to make about this part of the situation.. I'm going to wait a little while til the emotional part of me calms down enough to make an educated, thought out , talked out decision.. Right now.. deciding what to cook for dinner is a difficult process..

I am basically ok now that the majority of the shock is over.. I have had wonderful support from Ron.. he is my angel and my rock.. I have had support from Ronnie.. he took it rather well for him.. I have had support from Russ.. thank you my friend.. so with all of this support for me.. I can devote all of my support to my daughter.. she needs her mom in ways that she doesn't even realize yet.. and when she does..I will be there..

ok.. time to stop.. the wrist is hurting.. and I am about exhausted.. y'all have a good one..