Life Changes

Things are settling down a bit.. as Ron said they are not returning to normal.. I don't think they can return to what was "normal" .. Dad is not here..

My life has taken a new direction and it is one that I have wanted it to take for a long time.. I was at church Sunday afternoon.. it was a wonderful service.. there was crying, singing, dancing, and then there was me right in the middle of all of it.. I don't know how many of you are Pentecostal or know what being Pentecostal is but, I was blessed by receiving the Holy Ghost.. I have never felt anything like it in my life.. when we left church .. I asked Ron if he thought the pastor of the church we normally attend would baptize me.. he called him and on Tuesday night I was baptized..

I have never been happier in my life.. it seems so strange that I have a peace about me that I have never had before.. I am not having trouble sleeping anymore.. from the time I was 13 I have had insomnia.. now.. for the last few days.. I fall right asleep.. I don't have the desire to do the things I used to do without thinking about it..I don't feel the stress that has been a part of my life for so long it seems as if I were born with it.. Some of my friends are sorta worried that I won't still be me.. I am still me.. just a better me.. how can that not be a good thing?.. I still love the same people I have always loved.. I still will never judge anyone for who they are or the things they do in their lives.. I just feel a change in me.. down to the core of who I am.. I like it..

Ok.. this wasn't supposed to be blog about Tammy day.. The kids are doing ok.. they are getting past the inital shock of losing their papaw and are going on .. that is what they should do.. they are kids.. Sierra is doing well.. she gave us a bit of a scare on Friday.. she started having cramps in her lower abdomen.. I took her to the hospital here in Mt. Sterling.. they checked the baby first.. she is fine.. she was kicking and so forth.. wouldn't stay still long enough for the dr. to get her heart rate.. but finally she cooperated.. They checked Sierra after making sure the baby was ok.. she has a minor infection somewhere in her body based on the blood work they did.. they just weren't sure if it was in her appendix or not so they kept her overnight for observation.. she was released Saturday afternoon and some friends of ours picked her up and brought her to Dad's funeral.. thank you so much B and S.. you are wonderful.. your helpfulness and thoughtfulness alone is overwhelming but the love that you have shown our family during this time has been a Godsend.. thank you again.. and don't think I am leaving out the cute lil english guy.. he is loved and greatly appreciated as well..

I am going this afternoon to apply for a real job.. our son in law works for a company in lex and they are hiring right now... he put in a good word for me.. he thinks I will get the job.. wow.. it will feel pretty good to work a 9-5 mon- fri job and not have to work weekends.. or nights.. I will have benefits and all that good stuff too.. and will be making a lot better money than I am at Dollar Tree.. don't get me wrong.. I love the folks there.. but I need a real job.. and this is something I will be good at.. I almost said that it would cut down on my blog time.. but then again.. I don't blog that often anyway do I?..

Well it is about time for me to think about getting out of here..

Y'all have fun..

The Latest From the World of TammyJ

I keep promising myself that I will do better about keeping up with my posts.. and then something else happens around here and my posting takes a back burner again.. by the time I think about the fact I haven't blogged in a week or a month or whatever it is I am usually in bed with the covers just about over my head and don't feel like getting out of bed to post anything.. mostly all I want to do by that time is stay hidden next to my honey and try to put my thoughts to rest long enough for me to do something I rarely get to do.. SLEEP!!

There have been some good developments with Ron's dad, not as many as we would like but we will take this one day at a time and will take all good news we can get regardless of its magnitude.. I won't be able to attend the family meeting with Ron tomorrow when the family will get together with the doctors to decide the next course of action with his dad but Ron will be there for both of us and I am sure he will tell me everything they discuss.. The reason I won't be there is tomorrow Sierra is having her full ultrasound appointment.. Hopefully we will find out the sex of the baby but mostly I think it will help to reassure Sierra that everything is OK. I know she worries about the baby especially since her loss of Gabriel, but the only thing I can do as her mother is continually reassure her that she is taking care of herself and that is all she can do.. I think seeing the baby on the ultrasound and seeing that he/she is healthy will do her a world of good..

The news about my dad is not so good.. He refused to have the procedure that could extend his life expectancy from a couple weeks to a yr or so this morning.. I had a feeling that he might do something like that.. it is something he has done in the past. This time though I don't think he is going to be as fortunate as he has been in the past.. the Dr. told my uncle that if my dad doesn't have this procedure he will most likely not live another week or so.. there is only a 20% chance that the procedure will not kill him in itself, but he has no chance at all of survival without it. My dad and I have a very strained relationship.. there was much abuse of my mother by him when I was growing up.. there was much drinking and violence.. I really never got to know him other than as the person who was doing all of these things.. I don't want him to die.. but I honestly can't say that it is unexpected either.. I don't wish him any ill will at all.. I forgave him a long time ago.. for my own reasons.. but forgetting is an entirely different thing.. His family thinks that my brother and I should be doing more for him than we are doing.. they can think what they like.. I am doing all my heart will allow me to do.. My brother really doesn't even know my dad.. he left his mother when he was 2 yrs old.. and he didn't have any contact until he was in his 20's so I really don't see him having this huge obligation.. I guess that is just how I think about it.. I will do what I can as far as trying to convince my dad to have the procedure.. I will help to get him into a nursing home if he lives long enough to be transferred and I will help in arranging for his final expenses but that is about all I can do..

Other than all the medical things going on around here things are OK.. I have been a bit snippy with everyone.. I am sure that is just stress.. Ron and I don't usually ever have a cross word between us and for the last few days we have both been a little on the short fused side.. that has to change.. Ron and the kids are my life and I feel like I am either not spending enough time with them or snapping at them lately.. that is not a good thing.. I made a decision today to put an end to that kind of thing.. I am going to do what I can where I am needed but Ron and the kids have to come first..

Well I think I hear the coffee pot calling me and I may just take a half an hour for me so I can cover all these new gray hairs I have gotten in the past two weeks or so..

Y'all have fun

WOW.. Where to Start?

Ok.. first things first here.. I don't like being forced to do things.. I don't like being told I can't do things the way I have been doing them.. and what happens today?.. I was finally forced to change to the new blogger.. I have been avoiding it like the plague.. I don't really know why.. I don't have major problems with change.. in fact I am really rather good at it.. I would have never made it through childhood if I couldn't handle complete and utter change at a moment's notice.. my parents were a bit touched and things changed frequently with them.. Oh Lord I don't even want to try to go down that particular road this morning.. lets just end that train of thought now.. anyway.. here I am google blogging away.. Lets just see if it will grow on me..

There have been so many things going on around here I really am not sure where to start or if there is actually a starting place.. I think most of what has been going on basically started a while back and has just continued.. Ron told y'all about Chris being moved and about buying the trailblazer so I won't bore ya with that stuff.. one thing he didn't tell you about the trip to see Chris was the roads were bladder locking up bad and he did a great job navigating them.. I used to be able to drive in just about anything .. rain, sleet, snow, wind, who cared.. but ever since the trip from hell last April when I had to drive that 24ft truck back up here to KY from FL by myself while pulling a trailer with a van on it through the mountains and in the rain. I think my confidence has waned.. It is not a matter of thinking I cant do it.. It is more a matter of I get sweaty, wheezy, and scared half to death at the slightest hint of a skid or a slide now days.. that truck tried to slide sideways with me and the kids on a really bad part of the road in the middle of the night and I think now when something skids with me it just triggers a panic type reaction in me.. thank God my honey was driving last Saturday.. I don't know that I could have done it. The weather looks good for this weekend so I will be going up there to see Chris on Saturday. I don't think Ron is going this time because we are going to be having some work done on the Bravada .. nothing major.. just some basic maintenance things that are a bit overdue.

Sierra's pregnancy is progressing well.. she is finally over the morning sickness part of it and is starting to show a bit.. it looks funny she is such a tiny little thing and any amount of belly at all looks strange on her.. it all shows.. but she is handling the lost of her cute lil shape pretty well.. she wants this baby and knows she will get her shape back later.. not that it matters all that much to her as long as her baby is healthy..

Ron's Dad has been in the hospital for a little over a week. He had his kidney taken out and some gall stones removed last Thursday.. He was doing well.. he had a difficult night on Tuesday with his breathing.. and wasn't responsive to the nurses and family.. Wednesday morning Ron took off work to go to the hospital. While he was in the room his dad was more himself. The medical staff had scheduled a CT-Scan to see if the breathing/disorientation problem of the night before was due to some sort of blockage. As they were taking him down to do the procedure Ron heard his dad tell them if they would sit him up a bit he could breathe better.. when they got him down to radiology he stopped breathing and his heart stopped for about 5-10 mins.. They got him going again and he is now on a ventilator. The doctors are worried about brain damage, they called in a neurology consult yesterday the neurologist did an EEG and we should get the results of that today. The neurologist did tell the family that if he has any damage at all it is mild to moderate.. Ron says his faith leads him to believe that when we were praying for God to heal him while they were trying to get his heart started again that God heard us and he doesn't believe that God would bring his dad back just to be a drooling old man sitting in a chair.. I believe that too.. I have a simpler way of putting it.. I don't believe that God heals us half way.. He doesn't practice medicine..He has it perfected. God knows how much healing we need to make us who we need to be it is hard for me to believe that he would fall short of giving us all that we need.. that is just how my faith works... If you pray please include Ron's dad and the rest of the family in those prayers.. He is a wonderful man, a great father, a faithful husband and a long time servant of God. This family will not fall apart if we lose him but there will be such a huge hole in it from his loss.. the strength to survive his loss is just one of the many gifts he has bestowed on his family but we just really don't want to have that strength tested. I have only been a part of this family for a few years. I have mentioned time and time again what a wonderful group of people they are. I have never once felt like an outsider I have never been treated like I am not good enough.. I have always been just included as any member of the family would be.. I think that is pretty great.. Ron's sister told me the other day.. There is no probation period in this family we just pretty much accept you as family when you become family. That about sums it up.

I have to take Kyle and Chella to the Dr today.. Kyle has had a swollen, red, sore throat all week.. I have been having one heck of a time trying to get an appointment for him.. Chella has done something to her back again.. who knows.. the child is as bad as I am when it comes to hurting her back.. I want to get an MRI done on her back soon to find out if she has inherited all of the bone problems I have inherited from my mom and grandmother.. it is a family thing for the women to have back problems.. I have been out of work for another week with mine and am now on light duty for another week .. my boss is having some sort of mental block in understanding the NO part of lifting, bending, stooping and squatting.. she asked me to unload several boxes that I couldn't lift and was unable to unload without having to be bent over for sometime .. I told her "NO".. she didn't like it.. but oh well I am not gonna hurt myself for 6 bucks an hour at the Dollar Tree and she really needs to understand what can happen to the company if she insists on trying to make me do things I am not medically able to do.. but oh well .. she'll get it eventually..

Well now that I have written a novella here I think I will go hunt up some food.. I just realized I haven't eaten a thing all morning.. and my lil belly is hollering away in there.. time to quiet the beast..

Y'all have fun.

Still Going On..

I am still here.. I am still semi sane.. I am still pissed in a major way.. I have been ok really.. I am dealing with the Chris situation as best I can. That mostly means writing letters to judges, asking questions of legal minds, researching backgrounds of lying people.. that sorta thing. Other than all of that there are still the day to day things I have to do.. there are dinners to be cooked, lunches to be made, laundry to be done, and a huge house to be cleaned.. then there is the fact that I do have 3 other children here and 3 more that don't live at home and a wonderful husband that all need me to be sane and healthy.. So.. I have decided to be healthy.. Completely sane is never gonna happen for me..

Russ called me today. He said he wanted to check on me to make sure I am alright.. He knows I am strong enough to handle damn near anything but he could read between the lines on my last post to know that I might be holding too much in and not dealing with everything the way I probably should be.. I am not really holding much in.. I am dealing as best I can.. and yes Russ I am staying mad..It was good talking to Russ.. he is a really good person it would be great if he knew what a great guy he is.. but that is another story..

Ron is in my ear right now driving home from work.. I have dinner mostly done and will be making Ron's lunch here in a bit. I am going to see Chris in a bit.. I will go in there and tell him the things I have found out.. I will try to let him know we are all still with him.. and I will try to read his eyes and make sure that he is really ok and not just pacifying mom by saying he is.. then I will come home and get out of this really frigid weather and get in the bed with my hubby and try to get some sleep. I will get up in the morning and start the day all over just like we all have to do..

Y'all have fun..

2007 Not Starting Out Well..

As years go.. this one has started out in a spectatularly bad direction.. maybe it is gonna be bad at the start and end up being one of the best ever.. hell it can't go down hill much from here anyway..

I don't know how other people do it.. I just don't know if I can deal with this situation.. What I am talking about is what Ron alluded to on his blog.. It not only didn't go well for Chris in court Friday.. it was an all out shock and disappointment.. The judge sentenced him to 5 yrs in prison.. I don't understand .. I was floored.. This was a first offense for Chris.. I have watched this judge for over a year now.. handing out sentences.. doing justice.. and I have never seen him give a sentence like this to anyone with a first offense.. hell most of the time he lets repeat offenders out of jail on bond or probation .. I just don't get it.. yeah.. the jerk that started all of this was in the courtroom and had written a letter full of lies to the judge.. but you would think reading a letter from a man that has changed his story 3 times that a judge would be able to see him for what he is.. Chris' attorney just stood there like an idiot.. like nothing was wrong with this.. he didn't even try to argue for my child.. I am hurt.. angry.. sad.. I don't even begin to know which emotion to try and deal with first so .. I guess I will go with angry.. I accomplish a lot more with that one..

I couldn't go to work Saturday.. I had to talk to a friend of ours that happens to be an attorney.. D. told me some hopeful news.. he said in this type of thing this particular judge will give a sentence like this to give the defendant a taste of doing time and in most cases will grant "shock probation" after a period of 30 to 90 days.. I talked to Chris' attorney this morning and he has assured me that we will be applying for shock probation in about 90 days.. this is good and bad news.. good that there is hope of getting my son out.. bad in that he has to be in that place for 90 days.. for those of you that don't know the original story of how all this started check my posts from Nov of 2005 it is in there somewhere. I just don't feel like doing a recap of it now..

In the mean time.. I am working overtime researching law about this type of case.. seeing what legal options are available to us.. doing Chris' banking and such.. getting in touch with everyone that might have info for me.. and basically trying to stay as busy as possible so I don't have to think.. thinking is bad.. If I think too long I will break down.. I will not be able to function.. that ain't good.. Most of the time around here I am so busy with ordinary life I don't have time to think.. now it feels like there just isn't enough for me to do..

My biggest problem right now is that I don't want to break in front of Chris.. it is indescribable what it feels like to visit my firstborn child in a place like that.. what it feels like to not be able to hug him.. to not be able to fix this.. I know that chris bears responsibility in all of this.. he made some bad choices.. but in this case the punishment does not fit the crime. As a mom I want to fix things for my children.. this is something I cannot fix.. I can work on it.. I can get the info together and I can pray.. but ultimately my child's fate lies in the hands of the judicial system that I just don't have much faith in anymore.. That is almost unbearable for a person like me.. or any mom I would imagine.. People tell me all the time I am the strongest woman they know, there are times I would like to not be strong.. I would like to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head and hide there.. I won't do that of course... It is just not who I am.. Ron has been more than my husband and friend in helping me deal with this.. he has been what I have always known he is.. My Angel..

Well time to get off here and get back to work.. Y'all have fun

Trying to Get Back in The Mood

I sometimes wonder why I still have a blog... Lately I just don't seem to care to sit down and write anything... I really am not sure why I feel this way.. I have the words in my head as I always do.. I have things going on in my life that, if I wrote about them they may not take up so much space in my head.. but still I simply don't seem to have the energy or the inclination most days to sit down at the computer, log in to blogspot, and type.. I don't know if it is stress or if it is whatever weirdness my body has been going through as of late.. or hell maybe I am just getting lazy in my old age..

Things are actually a bit calmer nowdays than they were when Sierra and Jordan were both at the house.. sometimes being around them is like being around a bomb with a light trigger you never know what might set them off therefore you walk carefully around them to keep the peace.. Sierra is doing ok physically since his forced departure, mentally I am not to sure.. I know she is having a hard time dealing with the situation that caused us to tell Jordan to leave.. I know she is afraid of facing the future of having a baby alone, and raising one by herself. I know that isn't an easy thing to contimplate when you are that young.. I know because I was 17 and pregnant with my first child, alone and scared to death.. I guess I just did things differently.. I went out and got a job and concentrated on keeping me and my baby healthy, Sierra's main goal seems to be breaking the guiness book record for sleeping on the couch.. but hopefully given a bit of time she will be able to come to terms and make the right choices for her and her child to be..

Last week my manager called me on both days I was scheduled to work to inform me I didn't need to come in, due to cutting back on hours for all employees... When she called me on Friday I told her" I will bring you a 2 week notice tomorrow when I come in to check next weeks schedule if I am only going to get scheduled for 5 or 10 hour weeks and then not even get to work them".. she said she understood.. when I called Saturday to check on my schedule for this week it turns out I am scheduled for 15 hours this week and 20 next week .. hmm I guess she wants to keep me around after all..

Right now I am sitting here at Ron's school waiting for him to get off work.. we had our first snow day of the winter here and at home.. so there are no students here.. just me, Ron, Kyle and Sierra.. I have been reading, Ron has been doing whatever work he needs to do, Kyle has been watching TV and you will never guess, Sierra has been..... Sleeping of course..

Well Ron needs his work puter so I guess I will get back to my 3rd reading of "A Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood.. great book..

Y'all have fun

Playing Catch Up

Today is the first time in 5 days I have checked my e-mail... it is the first time in 24 days I have posted to my blog.. bet ya'll thought you were rid of me.. no such luck.. actually things have been a bit nuts for me lately..

Around the first of December my back went out.. and it went out good.. I lived with the pain for about 3 days and then went to the dr. he put me on drugs.. wahoooo... then about 2 days after the pain in the back went away or mostly away I came down with a terrible cold.. this thing is still holding on a bit.. but when most of the symptoms had gone away and I felt more or less like me I got to thinking ok. everything that could have gone wrong with my body has.. I am done with this mess.. not so.. I went to work on a normal Wednesday afternoon about 2 weeks ago.. I was fine.. I was cutting up with co-workers and customers when all of a sudden I got the worse cramps I have ever had in my life.. I went down to the floor.. the manager on duty at the time sent me home.. I couldn't drive so I called Jordan to walk to the store and drive me home.. when I got home I called the nurse help line through our insurance company and was told that if the cramping got worse or the bleeding which had begun by that time got worse to go to the ER.. neither of those things happened so we went to the doctor the next day.. this led to blood tests..ultrasounds.. uncomfortable exams and ultimately to the diagnosis of "we don't really know what is wrong with you .." they gave me some birth control pills and sent me home.. with a note for work that I can only work 6 hrs per day and cannot lift anything for at least a month.. which my boss took to mean reduce my hours to one day per week.. I am feeling somewhat better now.. the cramps are still a daily part of my life but nothing like the ones that started this mess... My regular doctor has suggested that a partial hysterectomy might be in order.. I asked her if we could do it now.. other than all of that.. Life has been wonderful..

Christmas was great.. I love going to Ron's parent's house for Christmas Eve. There is so much love and joy in that house you can't help but to feel at home.. they have always made me feel like I am a part of the family .. that means so much to me.. My family did Christmas but to them it was always about having the gifts and worrying about not having the money for the gifts rather than enjoying the greatest gift of all.. Having our family together.. I was telling Ron one of my favorite Christmas memories is of the year that Chelsea was born.. She was born on Dec 8 so she was just a tiny little thing that year.. My mom and dad were there.. My kids were there.. My ex and I were getting along.. and most of all my grandparents were both alive then and were at my house for Christmas.. It was one of the first and last times I remember having a real family Christmas with my family.. When Ron and I were still dating I went to my first Christmas at his parents house.. I mostly sat in a corner and watched this amazing family.. they didnt make me feel left out.. I did that on my own .. I wasn't used to a family that really does enjoy being together.. This year I was all up in the middle of everything, sitting next to Ron while he and his brother passed out gifts and teasing all the newcomers.. it is amazing to me how much I feel at home with all of them.. But that is just another gift Ron has given me.. this wonderful family...

There are other things going on around here.. Jordan is looking for a job.. Sierra is sorta looking for a job and mostly thinking that pregnancy is a reason to sleep all day.. Chella is looking forward to getting her drivers permit.. and Kyle is just well.... Kyle..

I really need to keep up with this blog more often.. this playing catch up thing is murder on my poor wrists and fingers... I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and the New Year brings you all the happiness and love you want in your life..

Y'all have fun..

Grandbabies, colds, and Sweet 16

We have got the cutest lil ole grandbaby this morning.. I had to go to Lexington this morning to do some shopping at Sam's.. ok.. we all know I was gonna find some reason to go to Lexington today when we heard last night that Chas had our granddaughter.. shopping was just the first thing I could think of.. anywho.. she is the cutest lil thing.. she looks just like her big brother.. she has a head full of hair .. the tiniest little hands.. but huge feet.. they are gonna spend a fortune on that youngin for shoes.. I wanted to hold her so badly.. it was just wrong for me to have to stand there with this mask thing on and look but not touch.. I have this flu/cold thing going on right now and didn't think it was such a hot idea to be holding a newborn.. so.. I just looked.. that sucked.. but at least I got to see her.. and hopefully this weekend I will be recovered from this bug enough to snuggle my newest lil grandbaby.. We have to go to Lexington this weekend anyway to return the annoying little dog to Chris and Chas anyway.. we have the Brewer again.. Chris is staying at the hospital with his beautiful wife and darlin little daughter until she is released Friday so they needed a dog sitter again.. you know me.. I am a sucker for animals and small children..

Those of you that read Ron's blog have also gotten the news that Sierra is expecting.. We are cautiously excited.. I know she is terrified because of her last experience with pregnancy.. she doesn't want to admit the fear but I can see it there.. I understand how she feels.. but I did tell her.. If I had let my miscarriage be the end of me having kids I wouldn't have had her, Chella or Kyle.. I know that probably doesn't make it easier to keep from worrying but it might help her keep it in perspective... Looks like our family will be growing...

Chella is celebrating her sweet 16 this Friday.. It is hard for me to believe she is that old.. she shouldn't be yet.. hell maybe it is just hard for me to believe I am that old.. I don't know.. Next week her and I will make the appt for her to go take her test to get her driver's permit.. just fair warning for anyone thinking of visiting Mt. Sterling.. Chella will be behind the wheel.. how's that for a scary thought..

Well I guess I had better get going.. Kyle's bus just pulled up.. and I still have to do something about dinner and all that good stuff.. thank goodness I am off today.. I don't think I could do Dollar Tree again today with this cold thing going on..

Y'all have fun..

I Thought The T Was For Therapy?

I think he broke me.. my physical therapist that is.. I don't think my honey is gonna like that much.. you can play with broken toys too well .. anyway.. I didn't go to PT yesterday.. the guy called and asked if I could reschedule for today.. being the easy going person I am (translated to chickenshit) I agreed.. anyway.. I thought I was ready for this today.. that man twisted my back into positions I haven't been in since I was 18.. a 38 yr old back isn't supposed to bend that way.. I know it isn't..he tells me he is trying to get the natural movement back into my spine.. there was nothing natural about the things he did to my back.. He made me lie on the table and do the leg lift thing.. ok..that I can do.. then he came over and grabbed my legs and twisted me like a pretzel.. not so good.. he is about my height and outweighs me by about 80lbs.. all muscle..it wasn't like I could tell him not to bend me that way.. he pretty much could.. Right now I am sitting here wondering how the hell I am supposed to get in there and cook dinner and all the stuff I have to do with my back hurting this way.. I just took my muscle relaxers and pain killer so I am either gonna be higher than a kite and cooking or hurting and cooking.. sounds like fun eh? I am gonna continue with the PT.. hopefully he can help me to build up the muscles around the scoleosis and DJD. degenerative joint disease.. enough to support my spine without pain.. hopefully this pain is a good pain and means that my muscles can be built up.. this is my 7th or 8th trip through PT with this back thing but every time I go through it I get the hope that this time it will work.. the good thing is my therapist is a bit of a hottie so it ain't hard to look at him while he is breaking me.. that is almost as bad as having a hot gyno.. ya know.. I had one of them one time.. he was my dr. when I was preg with Chris 20 yrs ago he was from australia and had the looks and the accent thing going on.. very uncomfortable considering where he was looking.. I was 17 and had no clue about anything.. not good..

Speaking of hot men .. my honey should be leaving school here in a bit.. and making his way home in the wind and the cold that our day turned out to be here in the bluegrass state.. they are predicting the high for tomorrow will only be 35.. I hate cold weather.. my favorite season is winter but I don't like being cold.. talk about being a weirdo.. it is the starkness of the trees and the snow that I love about winter.. not to mention the clothes.. ok lets not mention clothes or I will want to go shopping.. I don't like to clothes shop often.. but I do love thrift stores and clearance racks.. I am the queen of finding a good deal.. ok.. I think my pills just kicked in I have been having a time typing for the last few minutes.. better go lie down..

Y'all have fun..

A New Week Begins

You can always tell when a week has started out normal around here.. Things start screwing up.. This morning.. I took my car to Ron's school to have the automotive students look at it for a 3rd or is it 4th opinion on whether or not I have a blown head gasket.( I have thought so all along was just in denial about it) anyway.. at the school I left my car and took Ron's truck.. I dropped Chris off at work and headed to Lexington, about 5 minutes into the drive, Sierra asked to use my cell phone. That is when I discovered I had left it in my Camaro.. so.. I turned around and drove the 8 or so miles back to the school .. got my phone and we were off again.. we get to Jordan's Dad's house where I was letting them out.. (Whew!!!) and they can't get in.. they knocked and hollered and called Jordan's dad from my phone.. and nuttin.. then they knocked some more.. Jordan looked in the mail box and found a key to the front door.. that got me to thinking I might make a clean getaway after all.. they go to the screen door and find it locked from the inside.. so back to the knocking and pounding.. and me thinking I am gonna have them for the rest of today if not the rest of the week.. finally Jordan's dad comes to the door and lets them in.. I left ( in a hurry) .. just kidding.. anyway.. I called the doctor..I needed to get the dr. to look at my foot.. the one that I broke the toe on.. and to look at my back which doesn't seem to be in the best of moods right now.. they tell me .. come in at 10:40.. So I went to the parts store and got Ron's oil and oil filter so he could get the automotive students to change the oil in his truck.. then I went to this store I have been trying to find for the last 2 weeks.. I found it finally totally by accident.. I did get some good deals on cologne for Ron and perfume for me.. I have a perfume problem.. it is an addiction.. anyway..I went to the doctor.. waited.. waited.. and then I waited a while longer.. they finally called me to the back.. the dr. looked me over, checked my foot, which he declared (bad) his term not mine.. then he checked my back.. he did new x-rays then he asked me what I do for a living.. I told him I work at Dollar Tree.. he asked me if I am on my feet a lot.. I told him yeah.. I am on my feet 6 to 8 hrs a day .. depending on how many hours I am scheduled to work.. then he asked if I lift anything over 20lbs.. I told him some but not many of our boxes weigh that much and yes I do have to lift them from time to time.. he then told me "not this week you don't" and gave me a note to be off work til Saturday and a shot of cortizone in the butt along with a prescription for prednazone and muscle relaxers.. and told me to have a good day.. yeah.. sure.. no problem doc.. as I was waiting for the nurse to come in with the 4 ft needle.. Chelsea's school nurse called me to tell me Chelsea was throwing up continually and had pain in her right side.. I needed to come get her "NOW" .. I told the lady that I couldn't come get her "NOW" I was 40 miles away.. and that I would be there in about an hour.. she then asked me if I didn't have parents .. or relatives that could come get her.. I told her.. "my mom has alzheimers, my dad is incapable of taking care of himself and I have no one else to get her" " If you would like to make her walk home while puking then go ahead... otherwise I will be there in about an hour" she said " Ok that will be fine" I thought she might see it that way..anyway..I rush back to Winchester to Ron's school.. to get my car and the news that yes in fact it does have a blown head gasket.. and to go get the chella.. I leave there.. get chelsea.. and go to the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions.. while I am there I walk next door to my job and talk to Donna, my boss.. I told her what the dr said.. I told her I would be willing to ignore dr's orders and come in.. that I just can't lift anything.. she said no.. I would have to be off until Saturday and then told me she would have to hire someone.. not like she wasn't supposed to do that a month ago or anything but, now that I have to be out it is all my fault she has to.. ok.. whatever.. Chella and I got my meds and headed home.. where it looks like I will be until Saturday.. oh well at least there will be a home cooked meal on the table every day.. speaking of which, I need to get in the kitchen and kiss my honey and get started on supper..

Y'all have fun

Cooking, Cooking, Cooking

My back hurts, My feet hurt, my eyes are dry and itchy, I am covered in cherry juice, apples, cinnamon, sugar and eggs.. but.. I am loving every minute of it.. Kyle and I have been baking pies for tomorrow. He is a great little helper. He does whatever I tell him to do and he tries so hard to make sure everything he does is perfect. Honestly for the most part he is a great little kid..

I love the cooking and bustling around the kitchen for the holidays. I don't turn down any kid that wants to help out but I do love doing it all myself, I don't understand people that have their Thanksgiving dinner catered.. maybe it is just me but one of the things I am most thankful for on Thanksgiving is my family sitting down to this meal that I fixed for them and enjoying themselves.. I don't know how many of the kids will be here tomorrow, 2 of them for sure ( they live here) I wish they could all be here.. I do understand they have lives and plans of their own and things to do with the in- laws and other set of parents. Still it would be nice to have all 7 kids with the 4 grandbabies in tow.. no matter how many are actually here I will be thankful for all of them in my heart. When the 4 I gave birth to were little I loved them coming running through the house hollering we are hungry every 5 minutes on Thanksgiving, one wanted a cherry pie, one wanted pecan, they all wanted pumpkin, they could never wait until it was all done and set up on the table I would always catch one or more of them picking at the food as I put things on the table, I would fuss at them but I loved every minute of it.. these days with them all a bit older, one still wants cherry, one still wants pecan and none of them can have Thanksgiving without one or more of mom's pumpkin pies (yuck) and I still love every minute of it.

Ron and I have only been married 3 years but, his girls are my girls and building new traditions with them and my kids are just a small part of the things I am thankful for.. I love each and every one of his kids as I love my own and I am so thankful they are a part of my life and my heart. Ron gave me his heart, and chooses to share his life with me, he also gave me a precious gift in his beautiful girls in allowing me to get to know and love them as my own.

The pies are all done, Kyle and I are quite proud of our selves, they look really good. Tomorrow I will get up early, get Ron to get the turkey out of the fridge in the garage ( I can't lift the thing) and start cooking the rest of our meal. I am so thankful for the life I have and the people in it.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all and have fun..

The Last Few Weeks

I really need to make myself notes or set an alarm or something to remind me to blog.. I haven't written anything for a while and I am paying for it now.. I have so much on my mind that I don't know where to start or how to get it all out of my head and on to the screen but I am gonna give it my best shot..

Not that it is news to anyone but my stupid car is still not driving me anywhere but up a wall.. now it isn't starting again.. Ron says that he thinks when it did this last time and the guy fixed it that we only fixed the symptom.. I agree with him but the problem is .. that symptom seems to have returned and is now the leading problem.. I don't even know if we can find out what the source of the problem is.. oh well J. is supposed to be down here this weekend to look at is so hopefully he will remember what he did last time and where to look from there to find out what is causing all the problem in the first place..

I am still working at the Dollar Tree.. I like what I do.. I love the people.. not just the ones I work with but my customers as well .. I have always been a people person.. a cubicle works for me just not for very long stretches of time.. anyway.. My main problems with this job are the pay.. which couldn't suck much more if it tried.. and the standing for long periods of time.. Hmmm thinking what can a people person do sitting down.. Ahahhhh Telemarketing.. ok.. just kidding.. not that I haven't done it for a living just that I have a pretty distinctive voice and this is a small town.. I would get lynched.. It would be like.. " hey you sound like the lady that keeps calling during dinner trying to sell us widgets..".. I see that turning out badly..

We all seem to be recovered or in the process of recovering from whatever this plague was that Chelsea just had to bring home to share.. nice of her eh?

We are getting ready to go to a class/party thing tonight.. I am not terribly interested in the subject matter being taught but it will be good to see our friends and talk to people that can talk about other things besides kids, farming, and hanging tobacco..those are the main topics of conversation around Mt. Sterling.. I have learned more about farming while working at the Dollar Tree than I would have had I gone to agriculture school.. it is a bit strange.. but I like the town itself.. and I enjoy small town life.. not so much traffic.. and the people for the most part seem to be friendlier than in Lex.. maybe it is just that they are not in such a rush here and can take time to be nice..

I know I have been sorta a nag and a pain for the last few days.. I guess all this stuff in my head is just building up to a point of frustration.. I have been grouchy and irritable for a while.. I don't like being this way.. I just don't seem to be able to change it .. So Ron.. Kids.. sorry .. I am trying to work through all the crud in my head without whining or sounding like too much of a bitch.. I don't know how to vocalize what is going on in here.. and y'all know I don't ask for any help when I should.. so just bear with me for a bit.. I have gone crazy.. I will return to my normal state of insanity shortly..

Y'all have fun..

Work, Car, School, Grandmothers.. Life in General

I still have a blog??? Hmm I was beginning to wonder if I did.. It has been a bit hectic around here ..

Last Thursday I was at work when my cell phone rang. It was the nursing home where my mom and grandmother live.. The counselor there was calling to ask me when I could come to pick up my grandmother's things since she had been in the hospital for 14 days and would no longer have a bed in the nursing home when released.. My first reaction.. WHAT? When? and why didn't anyone call me to let me know she was even in the hospitial in the first place.. B was astounded that I didn't know.. It seems my uncle had taken some paperwork to the nursing home proclaiming himself medical surrogate for my grandmother.. and asking them to only contact him in case of emergency.. This is the same man that my mom and I caught ransacking my grandparents house the minute they divorced and were on their way to different homes. To say the least I wasn't at all amused or pleased by the fact I had not been notified and that someone they had never met could just waltz in there with an outdated document and assume to take over.. and they just rolled over and said ok.. without a word to me.. the person that is listed as her legal representative on all of her paperwork. When I got off work Ron and I and the kids went to the hospital to visit and to set the record straight they ARE to contact me if there are medical issues with my grandmother.. I don't care if they contact my uncle. Just that they contact me. I don't think that is too much to ask.. They are using the HIPPA regulations of privacy as the reason they didn't contact me. I am the person who signed her HIPPA release in the first place so that dog ain't gonna hunt with me.. ya know..

My car is still on the fritz.. we have determined that there is a bleeder valve that should have been bled when they replaced the water pump and if it wasn't done completly or accurately it could be causing the overheating problem I am still having with it.. Hopefully we can get someone to do the bleeding procedure and that will be the end of problems with this car for a while.. don't get me wrong.. I love my lil car but it is becoming a royal pain in my butt..

If you read Ron's blog you got half the story on the Chelsea absence story.. The 9th grade principal Mr. W. called me back later on that afternoon.. He tells me that he will not excuse Chella's absences due to the fact that he spoke with her teachers and they informed him of Chelsea's poor performance in class and that she isn't a very good student.. He also looked at her record from last year at her old school and saw the absences there and that she had some disclipline problems then.. I told him I thought it odd that her teachers would say that when I just had a conference with them and they assured me Chelsea was doing well and participating in all of the classes and had not been a disclipline problem at all.. What I think is her record from last year is what caused him to be a jerk..He also failed to take in to consideration that even though she missed 42 days of school last year due to legitimate health issues she still managed to not only pass 8th grade but to earn 3 HS credits in the process.. whatever problems she had obviously didn't affect her ability and willingness to do the work then nor does it now. Why not base it on who she is now and how she is doing now instead of the things in the past.. People can and do change especially teenage girls.. geesh.. My answer to all of this was to buy a notebook for each of her teachers to sign daily and record any necessary comments about her attendance, participation and behavior .. I am going to do this for a couple of weeks then request a new conference with her teachers and Mr. W and let him tell me then about her performance. Yesterday's note were resoundingly positive from all of her teachers.. He told me if Chelsea missed any more time at school the COMMITTEE would be knocking on my door.. I told him I hope they do...so it should be interesting because I know she will get sick again this year.

Ron and I are still wonderful and still in love.. that ain't gonna change.. through all of this he has been right here beside me and supporting me in every way... he doesn't even know how much that means to me.. and how much more I fall in love with him every day.. thank you my love.

Oh Yeah.. Today is Kyle's 11th birthday.. when did I tell him he was allowed to get that big? I don't recall giving him permission to grow up on me and I don't appreciate the fact that he is doing it anyway.. We have a tradition in our house that whatever you want for dinner on your birthday you get.. so we are having breakfast for dinner tonight.. Kyle wanted one of my souffle's but I suggested eggs, bacon,sausage gravy with biscuits and pancakes.. he said that sounded good and that as long as it was breakfast for dinner he would be happy and it is a fairly easy meal to cook for me.. so I am happy..

Well I need to get off here , Ron is on his way to get me so I can go to Lexington and fill out the paper work for Grammy to go back to the nursing home today.. This time.. I am going to have the advocacy paperwork notorized right then and there that way there will be no question about who to call if they need to call someone.. Oh yeah.. and my mom is coming home with me this weekend.. that should be a blast.. I know she will love the house..

Y'all have fun..


Update.. I went to the nursing home.. signed all the paperwork.. talked to C the admissions coordinator.. she said in speaking with the legal liason at the center it seems the document my uncle brought in there isn't quite on the up and up so I am designated as the surrogate until the guardianship issue can be solved in court... Works for me.. ok.. I am outta here again time for Ron to get off work and us to head home..

Later..

Long Weekend

It has been a long long weekend.. the court day thing has been interesting but now.. I just wish all these folks would go home.. I had been told that it got crazy down here.. but OMG.. I never dreamed.. I am still trying to figure out how they got all those folks in that small area.. and I was right there in the middle of it a few times.. I did however find out if you have a 3 ft python around your neck while walking through a large crowd.. no one gets in your way.. I took Ava for a walk with me through town.. It was interesting to see all the varied reactions to having a live snake out in public.. she always attracts a lot of attention.. mostly from children.. the parents are the ones that freak about her.. oh yeah and teenage girls..

I didn't get a chance to post about our anniversary last week.. I have been working strange hours.. and when I am home I try to keep the house clean.. make lunches.. cook dinner.. do laundry.. so the blog thing has sorta fallen by the way side a bit. Ron bought me pink daisies for our anniversary.. and he wrote a beautiful poetic blog, letter, whatever you want to label it.. it made me cry of course.. I got him a teddy bear in a bag that said " you are the best part of me".. and I wrote something for him as well.. It always amazes me that when he writes about our relationship he seems to be saying how fortunate and blessed he feels to have me in his life.. I guess I have never been able to convince him that I am the one who is blessed and honored every day just to have him to love.. and to have his love.. I would be lost without him in my life... that is why I didn't write on the card that came with the teddy .. the bag said it best.. Ron is the best part of me..

Today I have to go to work.. yippieee.. can't you feel my excitement?.. I am gonna get dinner put together before I leave.. chella will be able to stick it in the oven for me.. and that will be about all I do today before work.. 7 1/2 hrs of standing on this foot.. I need all the rest I can get this morning.. Ok.. time to get the Chella out of bed and see if we can find her some cars to park..

Y'all have fun.

Tonight is for Cleaning..

Ok.. so I have discussed at length the fact that I am a bit obsessive about cleaning my house and that I can't stand it to be dirty.. y'all know all that.. so you can imagine what I am going through tonight.. the big housewarming party starts at noon tomorrow.. and with me working now and my stupid car going through whatever it is going through ( it was overheating and 362.00 dollars later it still is).. I haven't had much time to be at home this week to clean.. so... that leaves tonight.. I have already scrubbed the bathrooms, vaccumed the carpets, swept the floors, and shampooed the carpets and I even managed to do shopping, take chella to the dr. and cook a half decent dinner ..now I still need to clean the glass around here, mop the floors, and make sure these dogs don't tear anything up.. and do some dusting.. Kyle did some of it earlier.. I still have to prepare some of the food and make sure everything is perfect.. the garage is still a mess.. I have had no help to get that done.. so our 60 or so guests tomorrow will get to see that while we are out by the grill.. but that project is simply something I cannot do by myself..

I know these are our friends and I know they are not the kind to judge me for my garage being a mess.. but I am such a freak about this sort of thing.. I don't like to have anyone in my house if it isn't up to my standards.. and according to my kids.. my standards are a bit high.. so goes life.

The job is going ok.. It is a bit hard on my body.. I am on my feet the whole time I am at work and there is some lifting and moving things that make my poor wrist and right foot holler.. but hey it is a job.. I am not whining about it.. it is better than what I have been doing for the last almost 3 yrs.. Nuttin'.. I hope that one of the other positions I have applied for come through.. but if not.. this job is here and now.. and allows me to feel useful financially around here.. that does a lot for me.. I am used to working and paying my own bills.. When I was married to my ex.. I was usually the only one working and the only one paying bills or even worrying about paying bills.. so I learned to only depend on me.. Ron has been wonderful about the whole thing with me not working .. it has been me that has been worrying and feeling bad about spending money when I wasn't earning any and while I don't make that much.. it is better than nothing at all.. I know that a marriage is about richer and poorer and all that stuff.. I just don't like having to depend on Ron financially as much as I have had to.. it isn't that I don't trust him.. or that he has a problem with it.. It is totally my issue.. and thankfully I don't have to explain it to him.. he knows..

Right now .. I would love to go over there and lay down on the couch and take a nap.. but I know me.. The second I try to lay down my mind will start yelling at me to get my lazy butt up and start cleaning .. so I think I will cut out the middle man and just start cleaning instead..

Y'all have fun..

I Got a Job..

Yep.. its true.. I am employed.. .Not that it is my first choice as a job.. or that it pays much.. but still it is a bona fide job.. I am out of the house a few hrs a day.. and making a little money.. woooohooooooo.. It is at Dollar Tree.. and only part time.. for now.. but I love people.. the work is easy and it is close to the house.. and oh yeah.. did I mention.. It is a job.. Yesterday was my first day and I am still wanting to go back today.. I guess that is a good sign..

The only thing that sux about going in to work today is .. My honey's birthday.. He is 49 today.. and getting sexier every day.. He kids that he is old.. I will never see him as old.. I will never see him as anything other than my sweet wonderful, Poet.. that is just how it is.. I am cooking him a nice dinner.. and leaving his presents on the dining room table.. I won't get to eat dinner with him.. but .. I will get to snuggle with him tonight after work.. that is one of my favorite things anyway.. oh wait it is his birthday.. it is about his favorite things.. still works.. cause I know snuggling is a fave of his..

Well I have a lot of housework to do.. and then cooking dinner early today.. so I guess I will get off the computer and get to it..

Y'all have fun..

Fridges and Chicken & Dumplins

Well it's official.. we have finally moved the last thing out of our old apartment that was ours.. We bought a refridgerator about 2 years ago from my ex and his wife.. we didn't bring it with us when we moved here due to being exhausted from moving all the other stuff and lack of a truck.. Ron's dad has found a tenant for the old place so today I got volunteered to move the fridge.. Ron would have done it.. but he has that wonderful job of dealing with 30 some odd teenagers all day.. I think I would rather lift heavy appliances.. anyway.. I took my car to Ron's school and picked up his truck (SUV) .. I drove to Lexington to pick up Jordan to help me move this thing.. when I got there he and Sierra were of course still sleeping.. after about banging their door down while listening to their alarm clock scream at them they finally got up.. We went down there and loaded the thing in the back of the Bravada.. by we I mean Jordan and Sierra did most of the work.. I am not allowed to lift heavy things.. First I can't do it physically.. and second.. noone will even let me try. I get yelled at if I do.. we got the dang thing in there and I dropped them off at home.. after reminding Sierra to be up in the morning.. she is taking her drivers test tomorrow.. I am sure she will do fine.. unlike her brother Chris ( who still doesn't have his) she can actually drive quite well.. I took Ron's truck back to him fridge and all... he and Chris can unload that bad boy this evening.. I got my pretty lil car back and took my happy butt to the grocery .. this is after numerous complaints this morning of being out of milk.. Not that I don't buy 5 or 6 gallons of milk a week.. We just ran out last night.. but that didn't stop the barrage of complaints.. I got that and some other things that we needed.. and headed home where I am cooking .. I decided on Chicken and dumplins.. Kyle requested them last week.. anyone hungry.. come on over.. I assure you there is plenty.. I always cook enough for an army..

I guess I need to go stir this stuff.. Y'all have fun

My Morning So Far

It went something like this.. Alarm goes off.. I look at the clock..6:08 already?.. ok.. time to drag my lazy butt outta bed.. I stumble to the dresser trying to figure out why I cannot see.. Oh yeah.. My glasses are on the headboard of the bed.. stumble , whack my knee on the corner of the bed, there they are.. I put them on.. the world comes into soft focus.. too early for anything else.. I finally get back to the dresser without further injury and manage to pick up my clothes... then my bladder speaks up.. "BATHROOM NOW".. I wander mostly naked to the bathroom and tell my bladder to shut the hell up.. I am not awake yet..geesh.. bladder subdued I get dressed in the bathroom.. It is too much trouble to go back to the bedroom.. I know there are things in there just waiting for me to trip over them or for them to step out in front of me to hit parts of my body.. I am safer in the bathroom.. unless the bathtub gets evil ideas..Completly dressed and semi alert.. I head for Chella's room to begin the morning ritual of waking the dead.. "Chelsea get up".. I hear moans and grumbles.. "Chelsea.. You have to be at school early this morning.. get up".. more grumbling and moaning.. and a wheeze.."Chelsea... CHELSEA... OK..IT IS TIME TO GET UP!!!!".. she answers.."I'm up".. now I know from years of experience this is not the truth.. she is not up.. she isn't even awake.. it is just her body trying to get me to go away and let her sleep.. It never works.. but she keeps trying.. " Chelsea.. I am going downstairs.. I want you down there in 5 mins".. this time I get a mostly coherent.. " Ok Mom.. I am up.. getting dressed"..

I head downstairs.. where I say good morning to my honey and Kyle.. they are both up and have been for a while from the looks of them.. I head to my favorite spot in the morning.. My coffee pot.. OOPs.. forgot to set up coffee last night.. this presents all new opportunities for me to hurt myself.. the coffee filters are in the pantry..and that door likes to catch my fingers.. the coffee is in the freezer.. and our freezer is on the bottom of the fridge.. great.. that thing likes to hit me in the knee.. and then there is always the water.. it seems to know when it is me and decides I haven't done a good enough job of showering so it tries to wash me all over again.. I get my coffee made without serious bodily harm this morning.. and manage to stay dry.. I am doing well for me.. I look at the clock.. 6:18.. time to get Chris up.. He is easy.. " Christopher,.. time to get up.. ".. I hear sniffling, groaning.. and " ok.. I'm up.." I believe him.. he is usually pretty easy to wake..

By this time I realize Chelsea is still not downstairs.. Ron is heading up to do his morning thing.. So I know he will get her moving.. I sit down to spend a minute with Kyle.. I then realize it is freezing in this house.. Ron tells me to turn on the heat.. I don't know how.. This house has gas space heaters.. which I have no idea how to operate.. I tell Ron.. " I don't know how.." .. he gives me instructions.. I am thinking .. you know as clutzy as I am .. is it really a good idea to have me fiddling with natural gas and flames when I don't have clue what I am doing?.. Of course I can't get the dang thing to work.. Ron says he will do it.. Kyle and I go to the porch to wait for his bus.. by this time it is 6:25 and still no Chella.. the bus comes about 6:35.. I go back inside and there is heat coming from the confounded space heater.. apparently Ron has it working.. ok.. so I am not technically inclinded when it comes to appliances.. Ron goes upstairs , I hear him and Chella having words.. I can't hear what is being said but I know the jist of it.. he is telling her she IS getting up.. she is arguing from the middle of her bed where she is sitting under the blanket that she in fact IS up.. she does this every day.. I don't know why she thinks that we are going to believe her when she says " I am up" when this has been going on for years and we all know she hasn't given a second thought to putting her feet on the ground to get out of the bed... I yell up the stairs.. " You are fixin to get a butt whoopin if you don't get down here NOW".. ( translation for the hick impaired) (" I am going to spank you") yes..I tend to get a bit redneck when I get ticked off about something.. anyway.. Ron comes down.. still, there is no Chella.. by this time it is 6:39.. Ron comes over and is leaning on the back of the sofa.. he says.. " I am wondering if I should go to work now or wait for the beating".. I told him to do as he wished.. finally the brat came downstairs.. I brought her into the living room.. by this time it is 6:48.. I am not a happy camper.. it shouldn't take 40 mins to get out of the bed.. I tell her " Ok.. you will go to bed 1/2 hr earlier this evening.. and for every word of protest you make about this you will lose another 15 mins" her reply.. OK.. I think she's got it.. then I ask her if she would prefer her butt whoopin now or after school.. to this she protests.. I told her.. " It is gonna happen.. the reason you keep doing the not getting up thing is that you haven't had many consequences to deal with when you don't get up on time.. Now you do".. she grumbled something.. I told her to go eat.. she left..

Ron and Chris by this time are ready to leave.. I kiss Ron good bye and tell Chris to have a good day and they are off.. I go back in.. it is too damn cold to be out there long.. when I get in the house.. it is silent.. ahhhh just the way I like it.. but I find a definate chill coming from the chair where Chella has planted herself.. She isn't speaking to me apparently.. then she tries a new tactic.. " Mom.. I can't go to school early today.. I didn't get a note from Mrs. M.. and you have to have one to get in the school this early".. To which I tell her.. " Sorry kiddo.. but that ain't gonna work either.. I talked to Mrs. M after you left the conference and the school knows she has classes early on Tues. and Thurs. all you have to do is be there and she will meet us at the door".. dang another Chella bubble busted.. she tries to argue.. I say the 2 words that let my children know the subject is done and it would be best to hush.. " I'm DONE".. The silent treatment returns...

We leave around 7:20 she gets to school on time.. still not speaking much.. works for me.. I like quiet..she will talk when she wants something.. of this I can be sure.. she gets out of the car .. looks back at me.. " I love you mom" .. I tell her I love her too.. and I watch her walk to the front of the school..

I got back home, let the dogs out and sat down to blog.. so there ya have it.. my morning so far.. how is your day going?

Y'all have fun

Breakdown Anyone?

I am trying really hard to not jump on the break down bandwagon around here.. but they are pushing me towards it quickly..

Chella has seemingly lost her mind.. Lately she has been in a bit of a mood.. I don't know if it is moving, new school, being away from her boyfriend or just that time of month all month.. but it seems like everytime I turn around her and I are at it about something or another perhaps it is just plain old teenage angst... who the hell knows..

Kyle is the one that is making me the craziest though.. He has always been a great student.. he gets good grades and is usually somewhat of a teacher's pet.. ever since we moved here he has had one complaint after another.. I took him to the doctor.. she gave him meds for his stomach.. and last week after that he seemed to be fine.. This morning I got him up... he got dressed and made himself breakfast like he always does.. I got dressed and came down stairs.. he and I headed out to the porch to wait for the bus as usual.. he walked to the bus stop..and the next thing I know he is running back home crying his little eyes out.. I tried to ask him what was wrong.. he didn't seem to know.. I asked him if something scared him.. It is still dark when he goes to the bus stop so who knows.. he said nothing had.. I asked him if someone is picking on him at school.. again.. he said no.. he just kept crying and eventually cried himself to sleep.. I don't know what to do at this point.. I have contacted the counselor at his school and she and I are formulating a schedule for him to talk with her.. I hate keeping him home from school with this but I don't really see how he can learn anything while crying all day.. Kyle is a bit immature in that he is the baby of the family and has been treated as such.. but he has never acted like this.. I am worried about what is causing this.. as well as what impact this is having on his schooling.. I don't want him to fall behind because of missing school and wind up failing the 5th grade.. he is too smart for that..

I have some theories about this situation.. but nothing based in fact that might offer a clue as to his behavior.. the only place he seems to want to be is at home with me.. One theory of mine is this.. the last major move in his life was when I was still with my Ex and we moved up to KY from FL.. Kyle was 6 at the time.. a few months after we moved my ex and I split up and it pretty much turned the kids lives upside down for a while.. perhaps he is afraid that something like that will happen again.. Ron and I have talked about this.. and while there are no signs or signals that would trigger Kyle to think Ron and I are having problems (we aren't) there weren't any with my Ex either.. we shielded the younger kids from a lot of what was going on.. especially Kyle.. to him .. Ronnie and I were just mom and dad and things were fine.. and then to him I am sure.. out of the blue daddy is moving out of the house and things were changing way too fast for a 6 yr old to keep up with..

Ron and I have given the kids a secure home.. and we show them just by being us that we are committed to each other and love each other totally.. but who the heck knows what a 10 yr old is thinking..

Ron has his theory too.. that kyle is just going through something and is using this as a reason to stay home and that if he is allowed to stay home he shouldn't have the priviledges of TV, playstation and all the fun stuff he usually does at home.. I do agree that if Kyle can't seem to go to school.. then he shouldn't get rewarded for staying home.. I don't agree that this is a ploy..It is always such a difficult thing to decide whether to be strict and force an issue or to be soft and mushy about it.. I don't want him to miss school.. I don't want him to fall behind.. I don't want to push him and I don't want to not push him.. what are ya supposed to do in a situation like this.. ya know.. even the dang toaster came with an instruction guide.. do you think we could come up for one for kids?

Well I think it is time for me to get off here and see what I can get into around here before I have to go to my 2pm conference at Chella's school.. ain't having kids a blast a minute?

Y'all have fun

Doing the Camaro Happy Dance

I got my car back, I got my car back.. ok.. I will stop being 3 .. but I am so happy.. a month and a bit over 800.00 dollars later I have my car.. my pretty little white baby...

I picked up the transmission for it on Thursday and took it to the guy who has had my car for the last month.. he told me he would try to get to it on Friday.. I was like ok.. I haven't had it for this long.. I don't think a couple more days is gonna kill me.. Yesterday Ron called me to tell me the guy hadn't had a chance to work on my car.. I was like.. ok.. that is about my luck.. then he tells me the reason the guy hadn't had a chance is that his son was working on it and that it would be ready by 4:30.. I left here to get Ron from work.. on the way I stopped to pick up Chella who had pulled a muscle thursday night and it caused her pain while doing pushups in ROTC.. they called me to come get her.. anyway.. we got to the school and bs'ed around a bit til it was close to time to go get my car... we got to the transmission shop about 4:20 and there was no camaro in sight.. we figured they were test driving it.. Ron went on in the shop.. I sat down for a smoke.. and while I was sitting there .. this cute little white camaro pulled up in the lot.. there he was.. my baby.. I was just happy to see him running.. Ron and I paid the bill and I left to go pick up Chris from work.. I got my car up to about 60 on the back road.. ran perfectly after a few minutes of spitting and sputtering from not running so long.. we got Chris and headed home.. there is a good stretch of interstate between Winchester and Mt. Sterling.. I got him up to 80.. this was good.. then I took the back road home.. it is this winding curvy road.. my lil car loves that sorta thing.. he did well.. I am so happy.. I have my car back.. I have my house.. I have DSL.. dang sorta spoiled ain't I?.. the best thing I have though is my honey, my wonderful children and great friends.. the rest is just the bonus.. well I am off here..

Y'all have fun..